Looking For Work As A Babysitter Prank Call - Ownage Pranks

Best quotes: 

• “I can tell you I won’t do the sexy time in your bed I will at least do it on the couch”
• “What happens in China stays in China”
• “Get the construction site primed and lubricated, you know?”

Body of content:

I received a request to prank a guy who had a nightmare experience with a babysitter he hired and was now looking for a new, reliable one. It turned out that the previous babysitter had invited a group of wild friends over and had sex in the bed when he was suppose to be watching the 5-year-old son! I decided to call as Buk Lau, another wild partier looking for some part time work. 

After talking to this guy for a bit, he seems surprisingly open to the idea of partying with Buk Lau (A.K.A. “Buk LuLu”), but then realizes Buk is actually considering watching his son while high! I brought Tyrone in to back up Buk Lau’s credibility, but slipped the guy some more stories about Buk’s absolutely insane behavior!

This dad was incredibly chill and friendly with Buk Lau and Tyrone despite and the craziness, and it made for a hilarious and long conversation! Should I pull another babysitter prank on parents looking for a responsible sitter? What crazy scenarios would you like to see me use? Let me know in the comments!

 

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Transcript

 [Phone ringing]

Guy: Hello?

Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: I-, I see the advertisement looking for the babysitting, you-, you still look for it? Or no?

Guy: Uh, yeah? I am, I'm still looking. 

Pranker: What is the compensation you have it? And what is the age of the kid you have it?

Guy: See one of them is with his mother right now. And, the other one is about five years old. 

Pranker: OKAY!

Guy: I'm going to have him, he's the one I need watched! So. 

Pranker: Alright. 

Guy: See I-, had a bad experience with somebody else. 

Pranker: Sorry, do you mind telling me what happened, uh, your other time?

Guy: Uh, basically I had somebody I talked to him, came over here, said he would watch my kid. And then I get home. And-

Guy: I-, I don't know WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE! WHAT THEY'RE DOING! I FIND THEM IN MY BED. YOU KNOW, I-, WHATEVER HAPPENED-

Guy: HAPPENED, BUT-, I don't really want anybody doing the uh-, you know, DOING THE NASTY! In my room, while I'm not there.

Pranker: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Guy: EXACTLY! EXACTLY! 

Pranker: OH

Guy: I come home and there's, you know-

Pranker: Uh-

Guy: STAINS ALL OVER! CRAP ALL OVER MY BEDROOM! I'm not-

Pranker: CRAP!

Guy: I know I don't want to deal with that again.

Pranker: OH MY GOD. That's a-, that's a terrible, you know, I so sorry to hear that! You know I-, it make me so uncomfortable!

Guy: Exactly! And I come home and they're like, OH WELL YOU KNOW, UH, THIS IS MY FRIEND! And I'm like OH YOUR FRIEND?

Guy: BULLCRAP HE'S YOUR FRIEND! 

Praner: That's a disgust. WHO'S EVERYBODY ELSE DOWNSTAIRS MOTHERFARKA? RIGHT?

Guy: EXACTLY! 

Pranker: Yeah! That's a-, DISGUST! I sorry you have to deal with that! You know?

Guy: It is disgusting! 

Pranker: I don't know what you-

Guy: Yeah, I have no idea what's going on up there and I really don't want to. BUT-, I don't want to find out again!

Pranker: You know I can tell you I won't do the sexy time in your bed! I will at least do it ON THE COUCH. You now I have a-

Pranker: I have a you know SENSE OF MANNERS 

Guy: Eh-, eh-

Pranker: I'm not a BARBARIAN-

Guy: [Laughs]

Pranker: or something you know? [Laughs]

Guy: No, [laughs] YEAH, YEAH. 

Pranker: YEAH, YEAH.

Guy: I MEAN. I'D PREFER NOT! But-

Pranker: I-, I-, yeah I-, I understand, you know! I-, you don't want SOMEBOODY, you know to-, to-, to PUSH THE SOY SAUCE EVERYWHERE-

Pranker: around your, your living area, right? It's not good! I-, I understand-, yeah, yeah. And, uh, you sound like a very FUN, down-

Guy: to Earth guy! You know you sound like a very cool guy, you know you-, your son is very lucky to have you! 

Guy: Yeah, well thank you! Yeah. 

Pranker: Yeah, yeah.

Guy: You know I like to have fun when I can! But you know. 

Pranker: Not-, not-, not as much fun as the guy who FARK IN YOUR BED, RIGHT? [Laughs]

Guy: [Laughs] 

Pranker: RIGHT! 

Guy: Yeah, yeah, yeah I guess not! 

Pranker: Yeah unfortunately, but some day you know. So, do you like to PARTY?

Guy: Oh heck yeah! Oh heck yeah! 

Pranker: Oh okay. Excellent, so do you think-

Guy: All the time! 

Pranker: do you think maybe we, me and you we can break the icey, we can go to a party together or something-

Pranker: meet at down town, uh, do something crazy! 

Guy: [Laughs] Well what do you have in mind, something crazy? 

Pranker: I don't know! You know, we can dabble a little bit! You know, try something here, try something there-

Pranker: have a few drink! You know, SNORT A FEW LINES. OF SOME STUFF. YOU KNOW JUST CHILLING! 

Guy: [Laughs] FEW LINES! [Laughing]

Pranker: Yeah, yeah it-, it'll be-, it really helps me-

Guy: I mean I-

Pranker: WITH THE BABYSITTING. You know it let-, let me stay up! 

Guy: Oh-, you want to-, YOU WANT TO SNORT LINES AND THEN WATCH MY SON! 

Pranker: No is-, it you-, but you will see me! You know I am very COOL, I am very UNDER CONTROL! You know, I'm-

Pranker: not like a CRAZY MOTHERFARKA! It really help me, you know, like a CALM DOWN! 

Guy: OH MY GOD. You want to snort lines and then watch my son! 

Pranker: No, you know I'm just, going to be very AWAKE and very ENERGETIC, that's all! 

Guy: [Laughs] That's ALL? THAT'S STILL COCAINE! 

Pranker: OK. I'm sorry, if you want me to START OFF SLOW, I CAN BRING SOME MARY DON'T YOU WANT TO SMOKE IT?

Pranker: AND THEN WE CAN, he don't have to see it! And me and you we can, PUFF PUFF passing right? 

Guy: Uh well yeah, yeah. I mean, Is see what you're saying, I'd just prefer, I'd prefer you know. SOBER STATE OF MIND.

Guy: While watching my son! 

Pranker: OKAY, alright, you know, that's a very fair and understandable, you know REQUEST, I will stop all the drug, okay?

Pranker: NO MORE, starting-, STARTING RIGHT NOW! Okay I-, quit like a TURKEY COLD, right?

Guy: Okay. TURKEY COLD! GOT IT! 

Pranker: Right.

Guy: GOT IT!

Pranker: Have you ever partied with a Asian guy before? Or the ASIAN RANDEE?

Guy: I have! 

Pranker: We know how to GET DOWN! 

Guy: OH YEAH! OH YEAH! 

Pranker: Yeah, yeah. FROM THE BACK!

Guy: ASIAN LADIES!

Pranker: YEAH! 

Guy: You have no idea what they've got going on! HA!

Pranker: HA! Yeah man, that's a crazy, you know they-, they are the FREAKY ASS PEOPLE, you know?

Pranker: They get a-, they get JIGGERING, jiggering all over-

Guy: Oh you're telling me! 

Pranker: Yeah, yeah. 

Guy: ALL OVER MAN! ALL OVER! YOU'RE TELLING ME! 

Pranker: THEY KNOW HOW TO SUCK C**K, right? 

Guy: That's not all, they know how to do!

Pranker: Yeah, YEAH! They TAKE IT. They take it real good! 

Guy: [Laughs] OH YEAH, THEY TAKE IT. THEY TAKE IT. 

Pranker: Yeah. 

Guy: And then when you throw, ha never mind. We're not getting into that.

Pranker: NO IS OKAY! No, go there, I want to hear it! GO, GO.

Guy: [Laughs] Well, all I'm going to say is, we had these two Asian girls that we picked up in-

Guy: Downtown Madison, brought them back to our place, and then uh, buddy of mine Jerome-

Guy: came over and well, it was a real crazy night! None of us remember what happened-

Guy: exactly but, we found you know, BEER BOTTLES, WINE BOTTLES, CONDOM WRAPPERS! All this-

Guy: crap all over the apartment! And then uh, his girlfriend came over, the next day and was like-

Guy: WHAT THE HECK IS THIS? And uh, we didn't know! 

Pranker: OH MY GOD. So he break up with the girlfriend what happened? He-, he-, he-, he farked up-

Pranker: the rel-, relationship? 

Guy: OH YEAH. Yeah we had, she was not happy about that. Was like, JEROME YOU'RE OUT OF HERE!

Pranker: Your friend is the BLACK GUY? 

Guy: Yeah, yeah. JEROME.

Pranker: Oh excellent, you know I live with, my black friend too! His name is TYRONE!

Guy: OH REALLY? 

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, very cool, I-

Guy: Do you party with him all the time? 

Pranker: YEAH! I LOVE THE BLACK PEOPLE! You know, the black people are the BEST ONE! You know-

Pranker: they know how to, have a good time! You know, like the Asian people!

Guy: OH YEAH! I was just at a casino with a bunch of black guys! The other night! 

Pranker: YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. Do you know how to do the BLACK HANDSHAKE TOO, so you can FIT IN REAL GOOD?  

Guy: [Laughs] I tried but they end up calling me a STUPID WHITE BOY, so you know?

Pranker: [Laughs] That's a so funny, you know? 

Guy: When you okay, do you have a, when you come over, is it going to be just you? Or is it going to-

Guy: be your buddy uh, uh, Tyrone too? 

Pranker: Well no I think, maybe I come, to you first! Tyrone a lit-, little bit BIG GUY, I'm a very small-

Pranker: PETITE person, Tyrone is like a, opposite right? He like a very BIG STRONG muscle, muscle MOTHERFARKA!

Pranker: Right, he d-, a little bit too scary! I think-, I think I come-

Guy: A big black guy! Alright.

Pranker: I think I come, by myself first! You know we get to know EACH OTHER, you know we do-, we do the BUMPING-

Pranker: THING, and then we, you know, HIT IT-

Guy: [Laughs] And the we-, WOAH, THEN WE HIT IT? 

Pranker: YEAH! 

Guy: Then we hit what? 

Pranker: You know we hit, maybe some, maybe if we delay my, COCAINE QUITTING, we hit some stuff AND THEN WE HIT IT-

Pranker: EACHOTHER! You know? 

Guy: HIT EACH OTH-, OH NO, [laughs] 

Pranker: YEAH! You know, I like-

Guy: HIT EACHOTHER? 

Pranker: I like to POP THE MOLLY! I' sweating! [Laughs] 

Guy: POP THE MOLLY YOU'RE SWEATING WOOH! 

Pranker: Yeah, yeah! EXACTLY! You know? 

Guy: Yeah! 

Pranker: Like the song! 

Guy: Yeah exactly! 

Pranker: Yeah, yeah. 

Guy: Like the song. 

Pranker: Ok alright. So, we can do-

Guy: I DON'T KNOW IF THERE'S GOING TO BE-, I DON'T KNOW IF I'M DOWN FOR, you know? HITTING EACH OTHER! But-

Pranker: Oh I thought, you and your friend, you know I thought-, I thought the girlfriend came in because-

Pranker: she was very upset! That's she found you LIKE A BALLS DEEP INSIDE OF HIM! Right? 

Guy: [Laughs] INSIDE OF HIM? NO! NO! NO! NO! I WAS NOT BALLS DEEP, INSIDE OF MY BLACK FRIEND! NO.

Pranker: OH CRAP! My crap! I thought you know, I thought you-

Guy: Oh my-

Pranker: OH CRAP. Oh my-

Guy: [Laughs] 

Pranker: VERY MISUNDERSTANDING! 

Guy: Oh, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING OVER THERE? 

Pranker: SO HE WAS BALLS DEEP INSIDE OF YOU RIGHT? I'm sorry you know, I don't mean to CONFUCIOUS! 

Guy: [Laughing] Uh, I mean, no? [Laughs] 

Pranker: Okay, sorry I don't see it-

Guy: That's never happened. That's never happened no!

Pranker: In my country is-, sometime you know, I have a friend that get a lit-, little bit CRAZY, right?

Pranker: But they say you know, WHAT HAPPENS IN CHINA STAYS IN CHINA! You know? 

Guy: WHAT HAPPENS IN CHINA STAYS IN CHINA.

Pranker: Yeah! 

Guy: Well I wouldn't know I've never been to China, but I do know they have some crazy bitches down there!

Pranker: CRAZY BITCHES! MAN! SO MANY! SO GOOD. OK, alright so, when do you want me to babysit your child?

Pranker: I'm very, QUALIFICATED! Right?

Guy: Uh, I mean, I'd like to, be assured first that there', not going to be any you know, LINE SNORTING- 

Guy: MARY SMOKING, you know, any problems come around, I'm not-, I-, I really don't want to deal with it.

Pranker: I understanding! You know? OK. OK. You know maybe I can, make some like a, like a COOKIE. Uh, POT COOKIE-

Pranker: or something! And if you, okay with it, he wake up, I give him like a LITTLE BIT CRUMB. He fall back asleep all day.

Guy: NO! NO! NO! DEFINITELY NOT. 

Pranker: OH. 

Guy: I'm not having my-, my son! EAT a POT COOKIE! 

Pranker: OH NO! But, you know in my-, in my country, uh, sometime you know, they-, they just sle-, they sitting all night-

Pranker: [crying sound] all night. So annoy! VERY ANNOY VERY ANNOY, right? So I give them like-

Guy: YEAH EXACTLY. 

Pranker: Give them like the SMALL COOKIE BREAKING LIKE A KITKAT, right? Give them, break me off a piece of that COOKIE MOTHERFARKA!

Pranker: And I give him some of it! 

Guy: [Laughs] I mean, what you do in your country with your kids, is your problem! But I prefer-

Pranker: BUT LOOK WE ALL TURN OUT JUST FINE! You know! I am a very GOOD contributing citizen, you know? 

Guy: YEAH I HAVE NO DOUBT! 

Pranker: ALRIGHT! 

Guy: But like I said, you know, you know, no-, NONE OF THAT! NONE OF THAT! I'm not going to-

Guy: I'm not going to deal with my-, my five year old son, you know, FREAKING OUT, BEING HIGH ON COOKIES!

Guy: Whatever you want to call it.

Pranker: Yeah he might be like CRAP! THE COPS ARE COMING MAN! EVERYBODY HIDE! He get like a so ANXIETY, you know? [Laughs] So funny.

Guy: [Laughs] Like I said I'd like to, you know, meet up some time, talk about it! I'd like to get-

Guy: to know you a little bit!

Pranker: You know, meet a few time, BUST-, BUST A FEW NUTS, NO PROBLEM, right? 

Guy: BUST-, BUST A FEW NUTS? 

Pranker: Yeah! 

Guy: MY GOD.

Pranker: No, but it-, NOT-, NOT-, NOT-, NOT LIKE A-, HOMOSEXUALITY, you know we say it-, NO HOMO, SEXUALITY, before it-

Pranker: and then it's OK, IT'S ALL GOOD 

Guy: THEN IT'S OKAY! SO IT'S OKAY-

Pranker: Look. YOU CAN BRING-

Guy: To say NO HOMO!

Pranker: YOU CAN-, look you bring JEROME, I will bring TYRONE, and we will, BOOM BOOM, right? 

Guy: No, I'm not down with that

Pranker: Okay if you want, you can do the PITCHING, right? You want to do the PITCHING? Or you want to RECEIVING.

Guy: I-, I'm not-, I don't really want to do anything! If-, if this poor guy's in the same room! You know I don't-, uh.

Pranker: BUT YOU MIGHT, LIKE IT! 

Guy: I mean [exhale] I, I don't think he'd be down either! He's alright-, I asked him: "Hey you know you want to-, you want-

Guy: you want hang out and maybe, WE'LL HIT IF LATER? Yeah no he's-, he'll be like-, WHAT THE FARK. 

Pranker: You say something-

Guy: He'll look at me like, I'm some kind of CRAZY WHITE BOY! 

Pranker: But like, he say something like, [speaking as Tyrone] man are you farking crazy dawg? I ain't going to motherfarking-

Pranker: HUMP YOU FROM THE BACK! [Speaking as Buk Lau] He think you are a CRAZY MOTHERFARKA! You know? 

Guy: Was-, wh-, was that-, was that your black friend? Is that-, was that-, WAS THAT TYRONE? 

Pranker: YEAH! YEAH! He's here next to me! 

Guy: He's here-, oh he's there next to you! 

Pranker: Yeah! 

Guy: So hold on you-, you've got your buddy Tyrone there, what's your name? I never caught your name. 

Pranker: He's my roommate! My name is a BUK.

Guy: A buh-, a buck?

Pranker: Yeah, it's a BUKLAU! 

Guy: OKAY, OKAY, how do you spell that? 

Pranker: It's a BUK, last name-

Guy: BUK. 

Pranker: Last name LAU.

Guy: B-U-K-L-A-U. Okay and that's-

Pranker: RIGHT!

Guy: That's Buk-, BUL LOO? 

Pranker: YEAH! BUK LU-LU. 

Guy: Buk lul-, okay alright-

Pranker: Yeah that's-

Guy: Alright 

Pranker: But that's-, but-, that-, that's what they call me IN THE BEDROOM, okay so, SAVE THAT FOR LATER, OKAY?

Guy: In the bed-, in the bedroom okay, alright well, I don't know if we'll make it there but-

Pranker: Yeah, yeah. AND-, AND-, AND-

Guy: I mean-

Pranker: In the bedroom you can say, GIVE IT TO ME BUK-LULU! 

Guy: I DON'T-, EH-, I don't think I'll be saying that, but you know, maybe-, MAYBE TYRONE WILL!

Guy: If you guys, you know? 

Pranker [speaking as Tyrone] No man, I-, I-, I DON'T FARK WITH THAT HOMO CRAP, dawg I mean-, un-, unless they say-

Pranker: NO HOMO OF COURSE! T-, THEN IT'S ALRIGHT! But aside from that! I-, I don't be getting DOWN WITH THAT.

Guy: OH YOU DON'T? Well it may, the way it sounded was, uh, BUCK? Buck told me that you-

Pranker: WAIT-, WAIT-

Guy: you know-

Pranker: BUK WHO? Buk-, BUK LULU? 

Guy: Yeah, Buk Lu Lu! He made it sound like you guys have had EXPERIENCE WITH THIS. YOU KNOW. 

Pranker: Oh, yeah but-

Guy: You two maybe anoth-

Pranker: You know what they say, right like, WHAT HAPPENS IN CHINA STAYS IN CHINA! You know what I'm saying?

Guy: He-, HE DID SAY THAT. YEAH-

Pranker: YEAH! So I mean like L-, LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT IT. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, but yeah-

Guy: Oh you don't want talk? Well what happened was-, you don't want to talk about it? Well-

Pranker: Yeah man I mean, I don't know man, I wa-, I was up in China right, we-, we was on vacation!

Pranker: This motherfarker got some, CRAZY ASS, he's like: "EY YO MAN! Put this in your drink! IT'S LIKE A SWEETENER!

Pranker: I'm like, alright dawg, I like sweet drinks! And he-, POP'S IT IN THERE, and wake up in the next morning-

Pranker: I-, I don't-, I-, IT WAS CRAZY! 

Guy: Yeah-, yeah-

Pranker: Yeah

Guy: So-, so-, your-, your friend! YOUR ROOMMATE! ROOFIED YOU, and-

Pranker: Yeah, MORE OR LESS! ASIAN STYLE! Right but like, but I-, but beforehand he told me! He's like: WHAT HAPPEN IN CHINA-

Pranker: STAYS IN CHINA." I was like alright dawg, so I-, I agreed to it! 

Guy: You agre-, OH YOU AGREED TO IT. 

Pranker: Have you watched the HANGOVER? Just think of that like, LIKE THE ASIAN VERSION! And that-, THAT WAS ME. 

Guy: That was-, that was you! 

Pranker: Yeah-

Guy: okay well why-, why would you even, why would you bother with somebody, who's going to roofie you and then, say you know-

Guy: WHAT HAPPENS IN CHINA STAYS IN CHINA! And that makes it okay? 

Pranker: But yeah it was a-, it was a-, THAT-, that's why I ain't going BACK TO CHINA. You know what I'm saying?

Pranker: I HAVEN'T BEEN BACK SINCE. 

Guy: SO HOLD ON, HOLD ON-, HOLD ON. 

Pranker: OKAY. OKAY. 

Guy: He-, he roofied! He roofied his roommate. And his HIS FRIEND. AND HE WANTS TO WATCH MY KID 

Pranker: OH. OH. OH. OH. OH. IS-, IS THIS A JOB INTERVIEW? 

Guy: I-, I mean it-, it's not a-, it's not a formal interview! But he's calling about you know, you know, taking care of my five year old son!

Guy: Talking about, you know-

Pranker: Oh my-, my bad-

Guy: Roofie-ing somebody and then, roofie-ing somebody you know-

Pranker: Oh okay see I-

Guy: doing a line here and there! 

Pranker: I didn't know about all that! Oh okay. UH. MY BAD. H-, hold on. Hey  yo why the fark

Guy: [Laughs] 

Pranker: [Tyrone speaking in background] HE AIN'T GOING TO GIVE YOU NO JOB, LIKE THIS HOMEBOY! [Buk Lau speaking in background] OH DON'T WORRY, YOU KNOW!

Pranker: He sound like a cool guy! Don't worry about it! [Tyrone speaking in background] DAWG, DAWG, what do you mean don't worry about it?

Pranker: NOBODY'S GOING TO HIRE YOUR ASS! If you be telling them about what do you do! With like the partying and all this stuff-

Pranker: You got to chill out with that! Daw-, daw-, I thought he was your homebody! [Buk Lau speaking in backround] Oh no I-

Pranker: I met him like a TEN MINUTE! You know? [Tyrone speaking in background] YOU MET HIM TEN MINUTES AGO? T-, TALK TO HIM!

Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: He-, hello? 

Guy: Yeah, what's going on buddy? 

Pranker: Hey, what's up man? So, yeah, you talk to my, my friend here, so he make you, FEEL COMFORTABLE, right? About me?

Guy: Uh he-, he told me about, you know ye-, you all went to China some time, and you ended up roofie-ing him! 

Pranker: NO! NO! NO!

Guy: Putting a roofie in his drink! Saying it's some kind of-

Pranker: NO! 

Guy: You know, SWEETNER! 

Pranker: Uh, NO IN-, IN-, IN-, no is not a roofie, you know in-, in-, in my country, they call that like a LAM YAY MOH YEH! 

Pranker: You know, it's a LAM YAY MOH YEH!

Guy: Lum yay moh yay?

Pranker: Yeah right! It's la- is- a HERB! Right?

Pranker: It's a natural, you know from the garden!

Pranker: You know, MIX UP with some BLEACH AND STUFF 

Pranker: and then you eat it!

Guy: So-so-so it's-it's

Guy: It's a roofie you're gonna put in your friend's

Guy: drink to knock him out and then take him back to

Guy: your place and you know, 

Pranker: But-

Guy: having your way with.

Pranker: But he was so willing you know, he very enjoy!

Pranker: I told him "NO HOMO" and he's like 

Pranker: "AH BRUH OH"

Pranker: and then he say "YES!" and then we you know,

Pranker: I had people over! He do lie

Pranker: we do sexy time!

Guy: Well how- 

Guy: How could he say yes if he's knocked out

Guy: you know, knocked out cold on his ass?! 

Pranker: I-I made- I WROTE HIM A NOTE 

Pranker: before hand right? And he sign in! 

Pranker: Say "YES YOU CAN DO IT!" So I have a consentee!

Pranke: You know?

Guy: [chuckles] You wrote him a note!

Guy: So you told him you were gonna roofie him

Guy: and then he said "Okay that's fine with me!"

Guy: and then, wha from there?

Pranker: Yeah, but it was a CHINESE! So he don't know

Pranker: what it say, but yeah. 

Guy: [chuckles] So he [chuckles] 

Pranker: But yeah-

Guy: SO YOU RAPED YOUR ROOMMATE!

Pranker: No I wouldn't-I wouldn't put it like that

Pranker: you know? We had the- 

Guy: Well put it however you want it! WELL YEAH YOU DID

Guy: PUT IT WHERE YOU WANTED TO PUT IT but-

Pranker: YEAH, I guess you're right but, we had a

Pranker: MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL EXPLOSION, you know?

Guy: A MUTUAL AH-

Pranker: But me and you can ha-

Guy: WHAT? You had a mutual 

Guy: [laughing] HE HAS A WHAT? [chuckles]

Pranker: You heard me! I said it, we have a mutually

Pranker: BENEFICIAL EXPLOSION! You know like what

Pranker: me and you can HAVE IT! 

Guy: [chuckles] So you're- you- 

Guy: OH MY GOD... 

Guy: You wanna do the same thing with me? 

Pranker: No! No! You know I-

Pranker: unless you say NO! But I think you're willing!

Guy: I... 

Guy: You know I just never... Ah...

Pranker: But I- no, I-I'm being h-

Pranker: I like to be the straight forward you know 

Pranker: I don't like to PLAY GAMES! 

Guy: I mean, yeah I-I know-

Guy: I know but we're talking about 

Guy: you know, staying, you're talking about 

Guy: staying with me at my house and then you wanna...

Guy: You wanna tell me about how you're gonna roofie 

Guy: your roommate and you know, HIT IT FROM THE BACK

Guy: while he's asleep and make him agree to something 

Guy: written in Chinese but he doesn't even know what it says!

Guy: And then you know, THAT MAKES IT OKAY! 

Pranker: Crap. Maybe I tell you too much.

Pranker: Sorry, I thought we were being friendly you know?

Guy: I'm kinda you know, sketched out about the situation now!

Pranker: But-but's ye- but you have to forgive me! 

Pranker: You know I break my OWN RULE! You know

Pranker: WHAT HAPPEN IN CHINA STAY IN CHINA! 

Pranker: But I tell you all about it! You know so 

Pranker: you have to-

Guy: Well- I mean...

Pranker: For-Forgive me! Okay one-

Pranker: Weh- here one second, I'm gonna go to the

Pranker: BATHROOM, you can ask my ROOMMATE!

Pranker: Uh- for his opinion on me! If I am a 

Pranker: good care person! And then we can finish it ok? 

Guy: Oh okay then- then we'll finish it alright,

Pranker: Okay!

Pranker: Ok alright! 

Pranker [speaking to Tyrone]: TYRONE TALK TO HIM!

Guy: Okay.

Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Are you serious?

Pranker: Ey yo, what's up?

Guy: Hey what's going on buddy?

Pranker: Yeah s-see t- 

Pranker: to be honest I thought you was his new dealer

Pranker: So I thought you was just being friendly, and like

Pranker: you know just-just you know farking around,

Pranker: being honest and stuff, but uh...

Pranker: He just went to the bathroom...

Pranker: DON'T HIRE THIS MOTHERFARKER TO TAKE CARE OF YOU KID DAWG.

Guy: DON'T LET HIM, don't- okay... Yeah I mean- 

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Guy: And you're telling me you know, thought it was his new dealer!

Guy: I mean what is this guy mixed into? Like what?

Pranker: Nah-nah dawg he-he's CRAZY. 

Pranker: I mean he's cool and all, he's cool guy but I would-

Pranker: F- I would- THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD LET THIS 

Pranker: MOTHERFARKER BY MY KIDS! You know I'm saying right?

Guy: [giggles] Yeah no,

Pranker: Not-Not even if he was on not even

Guy: No I know what you're saying! 

Pranker: ON THE LEASH! I WOULDN'T LET THAT MOTHERFARKER BY MI KIDS.

Guy: I hear you! I hear you, but what is he-what is he like

Pranker: BUT REALLY HE'S A COOL DUDE THOUGH!

Guy: He's talking about a new dealer! What's this guy messed-

Guy: WHAT IS THIS GUY INTO? I mean like- 

Pranker: Uh he's just- he-he has AN EXPENSIVE HOBBY 

Pranker: You know what I'm saying?

Guy: Yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying I mean-

Pranker: Okay he's- HE'S COMING BACK NOW SO-

Pranker: SO YEAH MAN, he's-HE'S A GREAT GUY, you know

Pranker: I'm saying, he's a- HE'S YOUR BOY, and I think

Pranker: you should really consider him cause like-

Pranker: ain't nobody gonna take take care of your kids 

Pranker: like my man BUK OVER HERE. RIGHT BUK? 

Guy: You- yeah well- HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.

Pranker: Yeah here, you talk to him! 

Guy: I mean th- 

Pranker [as Buk Lau in the back]: Yeah okay!

Guy: Ah!

Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: HELLO? 

Guy: Hey...

Pranker: He wha-Hey what's up man?

Guy: What's going on?

Pranker: Sorry I had to make a PEE PEE you know? But yeah, so...

Guy: Yeah, yeah, I know hot it is!

Pranker: So yeah, okay! So when do you want to, 

Pranker: Eh... You know. 

Guy: Eh... Well- 

Guy: Uh, he told me that you, you know I,

Guy: You know he's apologizing for what he said earlier

Guy: about you and China and what not and then,

Guy: says you know, "OH I THOUGHT YOU WERE HIS NEW DEALER".

Guy: So...

Pranker: Oh... 

Guy: Now it's making me skeptical! You know, talking about-

Pranker: Yeah... Yeah you know but- nah- 

Pranker: Yeah, yeah I know, but... I told you already!

Pranker: You know as of today I QUIT! 

Pranker: You know, COLD TURKEY! Right?

Guy: YOU TOLD ME YOU QUIT THEN WANTED TO GIVE MY KID

Pranker: Frozen!

Guy: A POT COOKIE! Then said you wanna do a FEW LINES!

Guy: And then, 

Pranker: BUT YEAH, YEAH! I was-

Guy: Then Tyrone's telling me you'll-you'll do A FEW WITH ME!

Guy: You know like I don't know-I don't know whether or not to

Guy: you know, 

Pranker: You know I'm just- 

Guy: [chuckles] I mean, IT'S ALL GOOD!

Guy: You know, you do-you do what you wanna do!

Guy: But I-I mean I can't- I don't know

Guy: How I feel about the whole thing after you know,

Guy: after hearing that from

Pranker: Yeah I do! I sorry

Guy: your buddy-

Pranker: sorry if I-if I tell you to-

Pranker: TOO MUCH INFORMATION I just wanted to see if we can 

Pranker: LAM YAY MOH YAY together you know?

Guy: I'm I mean-

Guy: Ah...

Pranker: Do you want to LAM YAY MOH YAY with me?

Guy: I mean it's not too much information! Ah-

Guy: SURE, SURE... 

Pranker: OKAY, EXCELLENT.

Guy: Yeah.

Pranker: When do you want to do it? 

Guy: Eh, I'm-I'm free-I'm free AH CRAP.

Pranker: I you know, and-

Pranker: This is how the friendship are formed! You know I won't

Pranker: even make you sign anything! 

Pranker: Okay we can be just on a you know, VERBAL 

Pranker: CONTRACT, you know? 

Guy: A verbal contract okay... Uh...

Pranker: Yeah-

Guy: Uh, I'm free on Saturday! How about that? Tomorrow.

Pranker: Okay, Saturday ok, SATURDAY OK, 

Pranker: So let's say like a 4 o'clock tomorrow so, 

Pranker: do you think you can-you can PREPARE YOURSELF 

Pranker: at 2 o'clock or something?

Guy: I can be ready whenever. uh, I'm off all day.

Guy: We can talk about things,

Pranker: No but you know-you know-you know-

Pranker: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I mean like a get, you know 

Pranker: READY READY, you know...

Guy: G-Get ready re- WHAT DO YOU MEAN GET READY READY?

Pranker: You know like a GET-GET-GET THE CONSTRUCTION SITE 

Pranker: PRIMED AND LUBRICATED, you know? 

Guy: GET WHAT? 

Pranker: The-the CONSTRUCTION ZONE! You know?

Guy: You wanna-you wanna get-

Guy: WHAT PRIMED AND LUBRICATED BEFORE 2 O'CLOCK? 

Pranker: No I just saying! You know get-get the area you know eh

Pranker: THE WORK ZONE, GET IT PREPARED! 

Pranker: You know you have to have the SAFETY PREPARATION! Right?

Pranker: I don't want to HURT YOU! 

Guy: UH- You heh- WHAT?!

Guy: You want me to get ready for- WHAT EXACTLY AM I 

Guy: GETTING READY FOR? At 2 o'clock tomorrow?

Pranker: It's- yeah- but-

Pranker: IT'S A SMALL ONE. Don't worry! It's only like a 

Pranker: 4 inches. You know?

Guy: What- WHAT IS ABOUT 4 INCHES? 

Pranker: MY TOOTSIE ROLL! 

Guy: Eh you- your- TOOTSIE ROLL??

Guy: Okay well I thought we went over this already! I don't-

Guy: Eh, we're gonna talk about things! I don't wanna- 

Pranker: I DON'T WANNA GET INVOLVED IN THAT! 

Pranker: But-but I-I ask you once!

Pranker: I ask you like a one minute ago! Do you want to

Pranker: LAM YAY MOH YAY with me? You said yeah!

Guy: Well I didn't-

Guy: I didn't understand what you were saying! 

Guy: I mean I don't sp- 

Pranker: But see that's what you do-

Guy: I don't-

Pranker: You hav- but we have a verbal contract! You know?

Guy: WOOOH 

Pranker: You already say YES TO ME! 

Guy: AHHH!

Guy: So let me get this straight. You want me to meet up 

Guy: with you at 2 o'clock, where we gonna meet?

Pranker: Uh... 

Pranker: Yeah- you seem like you have a nice 

Pranker: BEDROOM with some good sheets! We can do YOUR HOUSE!

Guy: I'm near-

Guy: Uh, I mean we could do my house but I'm near Medison 

Guy: And I don't know if... 

Guy: Eh- 

Guy: I just don't know if I wanna- You know... 

Guy: Take you to my place or we could go somewhere in town!

Guy: I mean downtown there's-

Guy: there's a lot to do down there! But I don't 

Guy: know about the-the-the- what did you say

Guy: What did you call it the LUM YAY

Pranker: LAM YAY MOOOH YAY 

Guy: YEAH I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HELP YOU OUT with that one

Guy: I DON'T EH-

Pranker: But you don't want to get the CONSTRUCTION ZONE 

Pranker: ready and LUBRICATED? 

Guy: I don't know if I can, help you out with this one! 

Guy: Is what I'm saying... 

Pranker: But I tell you eh- I told you it's a small one! 

Pranker: You know it's not like a INTIMIDATING! I would 

Pranker: understand you know if Tyrone was coming! 

Pranker: Or something 'cause he has the MOTHERFARKING 

Pranker: BLACK DING DONG you know, but me is like

Pranker: IT'S A VERY GENTLE! 

Guy: Yeah I-

Guy: Okay well, GENTLE OR NOT I'm- IT'S STILL YOU KNOW 

Guy: you know what- IT'S STILL GOING IN! 

Guy: That's my issue I don't want it, I'm not into that!

Guy: You know, I don't want to... 

Pranker [speaking as Russell]: HEY JAMES.

Guy: Ahhhhhh

Pranker: [laughing] 

Guy: Yeah what's going on? 

Pranker: Hey what's up dude? Hey my name is Russell,

Pranker: uh, this is actually a little prank call we were pulling!

Pranker: Uh somebody requested-

Guy: OH MY...

Pranker: [laughing] 

Guy: [laughing] 

Pranker: Somebody-

Guy: OH MY GOD...

Pranker: I think one of your buddies requested uh-

Pranker: that we give you a call regarding, he told us that you

Pranker: had a really crappy babysitting experience! 

Pranker: So we thought we'd give you a call-

Guy: Yeah, yeah...

Pranker: I wanted to see what uh, [chuckles] I could pull off!

Guy: Oh my God! 

Pranker: That was hilarious! I had to tell you it was a joke! 

Pranker: Because you've been super cool the whole time! 

Pranker: You sound like a really chill dude. That was so farking funny! 

Guy: Oh my God you- 

Guy: I'm like WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GUY TALKING ABOUT?

Guy: He's talking about drug dealing, going to China, 

Guy: you know, RAPING HIS ROOMMATE!!

Guy: I have no idea what's happening right now! 

Pranker: [laughing]

Guy: OH MY GOD! 

Pranker: The fact that you even entertained that for so long was just

Pranker: so farking funny dude! But, uh- 

Guy: I mean I'm [giggles]

Pranker: But would you honestly-

Guy: I'm down for like hearing somebody like- GO AHEAD! GO AHEAD!

Pranker: Nah, I'm saying would you have actually, potentially, 

Pranker: [laughing] hire that person?

Pranker: I guess you would've met up with them, 

Guy: I mean-

Pranker: at least meet him in person to see what he's like 

Pranker: THAT WAS REALLY FARKING FUNNY! 

Guy: I mean I was definitely down to you know, talk about it!

Guy: Had second thoughts about letting somebody like that in my house!

Guy: BUT-

Pranker: [laughing] That's really funny dude.

Pranker: We anyways, I will leave you with a YouTube channel link...

Pranker: if you kind of want to after this, long ass experience 

Pranker: talking to each other in these different voices!

Pranker: I actually did both the uh, Black dude and the Asian guy! 

Pranker: In case you were wondering I don't actually have a black friend

Guy: Okay-

Pranker: But uh, yeah, in case you want to check out the channel, 

Pranker: You might get a kick out of it. 

Guy: Yeah, for sure go ahead what is it?

Pranker: The YouTube channel is YouTube.com/OwnagePranks. It's one word.

Pranker: O-W-N-A-G-E P-R-A-N-K-S.

Guy: Alright, sounds good man, 

Guy: keep doing that you're doing that was- OH MY GOD! 

Pranker: That was farking hysterical dude. And thanks again

Pranker: for being an awesome sport.

Guy: That was great.

Pranker: That was seriously hilarious.

Guy: That was great! [laughing]

Pranker: [laughing] 

Guy: Alright well I mean TAKE IT EASY! That was-that was too good!

Guy: I'm speechless right now like I-

Pranker: [laughing] Dude that was amazing!

Pranker: I appreciate your time and uh, enjoy the rest of your day! 

Guy: Yeah thanks a lot man, take it easy! 

Pranker: See you, bye.