Funny Walmart Pharmacy Prank Call!

Best quotes: 

• “I need to talk to SUMBOOOOOOOOOOODEEEEE in the condom department please!”
• “I stand next to the black people, I feel like he going to, what dey say, C*** SLAP! Right?”
• “One question. How big is your WANG WANG DIGGILY?”

Body of content:

SUMBOODEE is back in this Walmart pharmacy prank call about his condom issues! Buk Lau is having serious trouble finding the perfect fit, but luckily Walmart is open 24/7 to help. Although, I can’t say I got much of a straight answer from their employees, who were definitely weirded out by this whole thing! 

I’ve encountered a lot of awful customer service in my prank calls, but the pharmacy guy was surprisingly chill about this bizarre conversation! Its surprising he stayed on the line with me for as long as he did. How do these employees not crack up listening to something this weird?! How do you think you’d react if you got a call this weird at work? Let me know in the comments below!

 

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Transcript

 [Phone ringing]

Employee: Thanks for calling Walmart, how can I help you?

Pranker: Duh hello, can I talk to somebody

Pranker: who can tell me about a condom please?

Employee: Hold on a second

Pranker: Okay.

 [Phone ringing]

Employee: Thank you for calling Walmart, how can I help you? 

Pranker: Duh hello, I call right now, somebody put me on hold

Pranker: For like a FIVE, TEN MINUTES, what the heck happened

Pranker: right, I waiting?

Employee: What is it that you need?

Pranker: I need to talk to somebody with the condom department please

Employee: Hold on a second

Pranker: Ok, don't take too long I'm so uncomfortable SICK CRAP, okay, go

Employee: This is Isaac, can I help you?

Pranker: Duh hello, can I talk to somebody who can tell

Pranker: me about a condom section, please?

Employee: Uh, what do you need to know?

Pranker: I'm sorry, do you have another telephone, somebody 

Pranker: you sound like the, like, like a somebody put

Pranker: TRASH BAG over the, the, the, speaker you know? It's very

Employee: Somebody what?

Pranker: is very hard to hear you, you sound like you in a you

Pranker: the telephone somebody, somebody do the

Employee: Oh no...

Pranker: Do you have another telephone you talk to me?

Employee: Hm, well you'd have to wait

Pranker: Don't lie!

Employee: till I go to another one

Pranker: Ok, RUN

Employee: No

Employee: Alright, go ahead

Pranker: Ok, what happened? You took so long! You go the slow motion, right?

Pranker: [Laughing out loud]

Employee: Oh yeah, oh yeah

Pranker: I kidding you know, thank you, sound much better right now

Pranker: ok, can I, I looking, my, I looking for the, my wife,

Pranker: she want to tell me i have to get the, uh, the new brand

Pranker: I don't know, I, we just come to, to the, America, you know

Pranker: like a two week ago, you know? 

Pranker: Uh, my friend tell me, to call the Walmart, I can ask them

Pranker: because back in my country, we buy the special kind

Pranker: you know? They don't have it here, here everybody

Pranker: is a SO BIG, you know? Do you know what size you have in the

Pranker: the section you know? Do you have a small one, the BIG ONE?

Employee: Uhm yeah, we have uh, I don't think there's small...

Employee: I think there's regular and there's uh, the big one.

Pranker: Do you know, can you tell me the exact kind please

Pranker: if you don't, if you don't mind, because it's a very important

Pranker: for me you know? My wife she get a very angry you know? 

Pranker: She have a very bad mood, she don't want to have a children

Pranker: but she want to.. She get the, what, what they say here?

Pranker: Sexual FRUSTRATE, you know?

Employee: Yeah

Pranker: I'm sorry, I, I think you like my friend, you know? I think

Employee: I can walk over quick 

Pranker: What sorry? 

Employee: Let me walk over there and uh, get some prices

Pranker: OK, if you see the kind, look for the sm-, the small size, please ok?

Employee: Ok

Pranker: Ok, THANK YOU!

Employee: Thank you for calling Walmart, how can I help you?

Pranker: I calling now like a FIVE SICK TIME what the hell happened? 

Pranker: I wait on the hold for the so long! Somebody tell me

Pranker: please wait, I wait for like a five minutes

Pranker: he don't come back, what do I do?

Pranker: Do you have answer for me please?

Pranker: Hello?

Pranker: [Speaking to audience] Okay, he will answer.

 [Phone ringing]

Employee: Walmart

Pranker: Uh hello?

Employee: Uh huh?

Pranker: Uh yeah, my wife’s called a couple times trying to get a hold

Pranker: of somebody said she was on hold and then, it got disconnected

Pranker: I don't know what happened?

Employee: I don't know if that already, I, I, put her on hold, and uhm,

Employee: apparently management talk to her, and uhm

Employee: And after that I have no clue what happened

Pranker: Ok then, who

Employee: I can put you on hold, [indistinguishable speaking]

Pranker Who, who was it, who was that one management guy that was

Pranker: just on the phone, because see she was talking to some guy

Employee: I don't know who you talked two of them, so I don't know which one. Hold on

Pranker: Can you guess?

Pranker: Hello...

Employee: Hello?

Pranker: Duh hello

Employee: Yes

Pranker: I call, I calling

Employee: You said uh

Pranker:  Do you? Did you find it? I'm sorry you know, I wait,

Pranker: I thought something happened

Employee: Yes.

Pranker: with the phone, I get the disconnect, you know?

Employee: No uh, we got some for uh, twelve-, uh, twelve for five bucks

Pranker: OK, do you know what, what, the size, you have, available?

Employee: Uh, it's just a regular size we don't, there's non for small

Pranker: There's nobody? Because I know I have the, my, we bring uh

Pranker: We have it for one week, you know? I brought it, I brought over

Pranker: TWO, and two week you know, finish, and now I go to the store

Pranker: we try it! It look, it look like somebody, look like somebody

Pranker: put a, put a TRASH BAG over the, the noodle you know?

Pranker: I, I, I, I try it, but it is so LOOSE, you know? It fall off

Pranker: what do I do, should I put uh, should I put a rubber band

Pranker: maybe or something? On the bottom?

Employee: Uhm, well, usually that would not be necessary, you know?

Pranker: But I know!

Employee: Did you-, [angry sigh]

Pranker: Usually, uh wait sorry, usually what?

Employee: It would not be necessary. To-to use that

Pranker: I know but, I am-, I am from

Employee: [sigh]

Pranker: Ok look, I'm sorry ok, it's very awkward for me too.

Pranker: I'm very embarrassed, you know? But, my, my, uh, my noodle

Pranker: is not a big one, you know? Some people from the Asia usually

Pranker: They have the stereotype, you know, somebody say, you have a small

Pranker: small WANG, right? But I want

Employee: Yes

Pranker: but the problem is, I don't know what to, what to do now? You know?

Pranker: I try with my why, she put on me, right? And it fall off...

Pranker: One, one, BOOM, fall off right? I don't want to make the baby, right?

Pranker: I don't need no more babies, you know what I'm saying? Somebody

Employee: Right

Pranker: Somebody, eh, I need to maybe put the [indistinguishable speaking],

Pranker: you know I buy the one someb-, I uh, somebody tell me the Magnum

Pranker: is a small one, right? That's a BIG ONE, right? For like the black people?

Employee: Yeah, that's a big one

Pranker: I, I can fit my whole BODY inside, you know? It's a so HUGE!

Employee: Yeah those are

Pranker: I need

Employee: Those are the big ones.

Pranker: Do you use the big one?

Employee: What's that?

Pranker: Do you use, what, what, do you have a kind you recommend?

Pranker: Do you use the big one? Or which one?

Employee: Uhm, well the one, well the ones I use are

Employee: uhm, is not recommended for you, you know

Employee: probably just want to get the regular?

Pranker: What, what do you mean not recommend?

Employee: Yeah, I mean, you kind of just want to get the regular one

Employee: You know the uh, I saw one over there, it said something about

Employee: uh, skin, or something about that? Skin feeling?

Pranker: So uh, let me think. Ok so, do you, so you have a BIG, BIG

Pranker: DING-DONG, right, that's why I said is a not, not the one for me?

Employee: Well you know, it's not uh

Pranker: It's OK, you know?

Employee: Well sir, it's not gonna be a sma-

Pranker: Good for YOU my friend

Employee: Yeah, I wouldn't say, it's going to be the, the small one, so

Pranker: OK

Employee: You said you needed a small one?

Pranker: Uh, I need to, I need to [sigh], [lip smack], [sigh], uhm

Pranker: [cough], I need to, uhm, I need to get something that will fit!

Pranker: You know? But I don't know if I could the big one and I put maybe

Pranker: like, the uhm, the rubber band or something it stay, I don't if that's a

Pranker: Safe one, do you know? Because I put on it slide off all, all the time

Pranker: you know? My wife, you know, I might uh, I do not know what to do

Pranker: you know, I, I don't want to TOUCH with my finger right?

Pranker: I don't want to do the dirty thing with my finger that's DISGUST, ok?

Pranker: My mouth, my finger, nothing! You know? I tri-, I need to get the

Pranker: The something to, to, please her! You know? I don't know what to do

Pranker: You don't have a small one there?

Employee: Uhm... Yeah there's just the regular ones...

Pranker: The regular one, ok, and with,

Pranker: which one, which one, what, what, brand do you use?

Employee: Uh, you probably just want to get the Trojan one

Pranker: Do you use the, do you use the MAGNUM, be honest, do you do it?

Employee: Uhm, well, no... You don't want to use that one...

Pranker: Uh

Employee: You want to use the uh, the regular

Pranker: because you are not like, you are not like the, the black people, right?

Employee: Well I don't know.

Pranker: Some-, somebody tell me, somebo-, I talk to my, my... I work at the

Pranker: factory right? The, the, Intel, you know Intel? The, the chips?

Pranker: Do you know it? For the computer

Employee: Oh yeah. 

Pranker: Intel, my friend tell me, you know, after I ask about the, the Magnum

Pranker: He say, what the heck you do! That's for the BLACK PEOPLE, you know?

Pranker: He tell me they have a ding-dong as big as my ARM, you know?

Pranker: I don't know what to say, so embar-, I feel so uncomfortable, you know?

Pranker: I stand next to the black people, I feel like he going to, what they say

Pranker: C*CK SLAP, right?

Employee: Yeah

Pranker: OK, do you know [sigh]

Employee: Alright well, you know, that's about all the

Employee: information I can give you, I got to get back to work.

Pranker: Ok, one question, how big is your WANG WANG DIGGILY?

Pranker: Don't be embarrass, I curious, you know, now you tell me

Pranker: you act like a so secretive

Pranker: [Laughing out loud]

Pranker: [Speaking to audience] Oh, man, he hang up on me [still laughing]

Pranker: [Speaking to audience] It's just too much, he'd be like

Pranker: "Do you think I can use like a surgical glove or something...

Pranker: ...I take the pinky finger, right? ZOOM, it work right?...

Pranker: ... That provide the protection, no problem."

Pranker: [Speaking to audience] He hang up too soon, oh man.