Asian Prank Calls A Con-Artist Fortune Teller!

Best quotes: 

• “THAT’S MY MAGIC!!!!!”
• “Right now the spirits say you do not telling the truth”
• “Have fun f****** yourself with a banana right? Heehehe”
• “YOU MOTHER F***** EAT YOUR BANANA D***!!” 

Body of content:

I found a supposed fortune teller on craigslist who turned out to be a con-artist and a maniac. I called her as Buk Lau, looking for advice on how to grow my “noodle” and win my girlfriend back. Not only did she give me completely bogus advice that didn’t make any sense, she tried to scam me out of hundreds of dollars for it! 

This woman is the definition of CRAZY! Did you catch how she tried to slyly change the price from $95 to $399?! I guess her psychic powers weren’t strong enough to tell her she was being pranked and would end up animated on YouTube. When she knows she’s busted, she completely flips out and starts making bizarre claims and calling Buk a pervert! 

I feel bad for people who call “fortune tellers” like this, hoping to fix their life problems and losing money in the process. She definitely got a taste of her own medicine this time! Do you think she’s out there still conning people for her weird advice? Should I do more fortune teller prank calls in the future? Tell me in the comments below!

 

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Transcript

Psychic: Hello?

Pranker: Duh, hello?

Pranker: I call I see the advertisement today for the, uhh, the-the-the psychic reading?

Psychic: Yes! Would you like a reading?

Pranker: Y-yes, I would love one please.

Psychic: Yeessss, but I charge, darling.

Pranker: Dee... How much money charging for this one?

Psychic: 95? [writing sounds]

Pranker: Okay, what do I do it?

Psychic: I want you to go right now to the Western Union, I want you to send Three Ninety Nine... [crossing out sounds]

Pranker: Okay... 4 dollars?

Psychic: No, no, no.

Psychic: $399.

Pranker: OK. I go now and I call you back and I-I will...

Psychic: Alright, darling, you go now!

Pranker: OK, alright. Thank you...

[calling phone sounds]

Psychic: Yes?

Pranker: Dee, yes Hellen, how you doing today?

Psychic: Good, good...

Pranker: I-I send you the money right now.

Psychic: Okay, well...

Psychic: Would you like to, um... Let me read you?

Pranker: Dee, yeah, I would, uhhh...

Pranker: I am having the-the problem right now with my... With my girlfriend she do a breakup with me...

Pranker: ... and I want to-I want to win back her love.

Psychic: Okay.

Pranker: And  but-but-the-but the problem is-is that she-she is not happy with my, uh, with my, with my noodle down stairs, you know...

Pranker: ... she say it not big enough for her...

Pranker: ... and I want to-I want to know can you help me like this with something?

Psychic: Yes, I could...

Pranker: OK, and how much bigger can make the-the-the noodle?

Psychic: Oh, I can  make it big as you want. [growing sounds]

Pranker: Oh, my God, that would be the so perfect if you can do that she will never leave me again!

Pranker: [scared laugh]

Psychic: You got pen? [steps sounds]

Pranker: OK, I have pen.

Psychic: I want you to get olive oil... [opening fridge sounds]

Pranker: OK, olive oil.

Psychic: I want you to get one banana.

Pranker: One banana.

Pranker: Wait-wait-wait what am I going to do with the banana?

Psychic: You're gonna put it in your vagina.

Pranker ... What?

Psychic: Yeah. [doodling sounds]

Pranker: OK...?

Psychic: You're gonna put it by there...

Psychic: ...You know, not inside but touch it.[doodling sounds]

Pranker: OK...

Psychic: And you're gonna put the olive oil...

Pranker: ... OK

Psychic: And I want you to put three pennies on the top of the eh-

Psychic: ... banana.

Pranker: But you see I very confusing because I uh, the whole point is supposed to do like it supposed to make my-my noodle bigger right...

Pranker: ... but you tell me to-to-to poke myself with a in the vagina?

Pranker: I don't know what to do.

Psychic: No, just do it ni- you don't have to put it inside just put it on top.

Pranker: On top of what?

Psychic: On top of your vagina.

Pranker: You see you're very confusing I-

Pranker: [exhales]

Pranker: I-I don't have a... I don't have a vagina though, that's the thing...

Pranker: I'm a- I'm a- Im'm a male. I'm a guy, you know?

Psychic: I know you have- you got prick.

Pranker: OK.

Psychic: But you gotta put it like that-that way, it gonna make  bigger.

Pranker: Ok, so I...

Psychic: THAT'S MY MAGIC! [magic sounds] [glass breaking sound]

Pranker: Okay, alright so yeah I...

Pranker: I understand that's very good one.

Pranker: Okay, so if I put on top- But the only prob-

Pranker: Do I put in my butt or something?

Psychic: Whatever you like.

Pranker: Okay, so but...?

Psychic: You got nickname?

Pranker: Dee yes a Buk Lau. B-U-K-L-A-U.

Psychic: [writing sounds] Say it again.

Pranker: Hey it's a Buk Lau. B-U-K-L-A-U.

Psychic: BLACLOW?

Pranker: The yeah.

Psychic: [writing sounds] Alright listen...

Psycic: Please, I'm gonna make you so big for her to love you and to care for you.

Pranker: Ok excellent, yeah.

Pranker: kOay, how big is it gonna be?

Psychic: It's gonna be 8 inches. [growing sound]

Psychic: Maybe bigger.[growing sound]

Pranker: Oh, crap... Okay.

Psychic: Mmm, bye.

Pranker: Ok... So you be available tonight?

Psychic: YES!!!

Pranker: Uh, ok, oh, okay crap. Calm down okay I talk to you soon.

Psychic: Mmm, bye.

Pranker: Bye. [hangs up phone]

Pranker: What is going on? [laughing] I think I just hit a gold mine of craziness.

Psychic: Hello?

Pranker: duh, hello, Hellen?

Psychic: Yeah, you never-I never got the, uh...

Psychic: I just called the Western Union. Nothing there.

Pranker: Wha-what do you mean?

Psychic: I just called the Western Union. You never send the money!

Pranker: I-I send the money all already.

Psychic: No, it's not there, honey.

Pranker: I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I send the money you know you should have it!

Psychic: Alright, well, let me call the Western Union back.

Pranker: But can you read my mind or something and know that I am telling you the truth?

 [whispers of spirits]

psychic: Right now, the spirits say you do not telling the truth.

Pranker: That's not true I-I... Tell the spirit-

Psychic: I'm gonna call the Western Union now!

Pranker: Okay. Thank you.

 [phone calling]

Psychic: Hello?

Pranker: Duh, hello?

Psychic: Yeah, there's no money there.

Pranker: De, you-you call them again you ask them they don't have it?

Psychic: They don't have it.

Pranker2: Well, uh, Helen, I'm sorry.

Pranker2: My name is Russell Johnson, I'm calling with the ACAA. How are you doing today?

Psychic: What is this for??

Pranker2: Well, ma'am it seems that you, uh...

Russell Johnson: From, from the looks of it, seems like you're running some type of OPERATION over there.

Pranker2: I don't know how many people you have involved in this SCAM...

Psychic: He want his-his prick to get big.

Pranker2: And, and your solution was to penetrate himself with a... with a banana with olive oil on it?

Psychic: He-He said that!

Pranker2: You said that!

Psychic: Sir, I don't wanna talk to that man.

Psychic: He's a pervert!

Pranker2: H-He's a pervert?

Pranker: What-what do you mean I'm a pervert today huh?

Pranker: YOU are the pervert, you want me to put in my backside right, you want me to do the dirty thing

Psychic: YEAH YOU SAID- You're Chi-

Pranker: What you want to do it huh? You want me to

Pranker: You are the sick motherfarker. That's what you are.

Psychic: You're a C**K SUCKER MOTHER FARKER yourself!

Pranker: Let-let it out, go ahead, say it, uh...

Pranker: Release the pain inside you know, you are the very...

Psychic: YOU DUMBASS you want your prick to get big...

Psychic: Go to somebody else to do it!

Pranker: Okay have fun farking yourself with a banana right?

Pranker: [hysterical laughing]

Psychic: YOU MOTHER FARKER EAT YOUR BANANA PRICK!

Pranker: OK.[hangs up phone]

Pranker: [laughing]