Asian Guy Wants A Bodyguard - Prank Call Video

Best quotes: 

• “I want to hire, like, a big gorilla motherf****r, you know?”
• “Just send me those ass pictures real quick…”
• “I think I might’ve upset somebody in the Chinese Mafia or something.”

Body of content:

I called a dude who offers bodyguard protection services and asked if he could protect Buk Lau from the Chinese Mafia! This bodyguard prank call turned out quick, lighthearted, and hilarious! The guy was a really good sport about Buk Lau’s inappropriate questioning. Check out this funny conversation and let me know what you think in the comments below!

 

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Transcript

[phone ringing]

Guy: This is Adam.

Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Uh, yeah, hello Adam! I see your advertisement for the guarding the body?

Guy: Yes sir. Why do you need bodyguarding?

Pranker: I- we actually own a couple of Chinese restaurants and lately I've been having people kind of trying to beat me up...

Pranker: ... I- I think I might have upset somebody in the Chinese Mafia or something like that so...

Guy: Uhh-huh?

Pranker: I just want to-

Guy: Oh!

Pranker: ... find somebody who's like a you know, a big guy, has some good muscles and some- you know, can fark some crap up, you know?

Guy: I'm not in the business of "farking crap up" but uh- as you'd say but uh-

Pranker: Yeah-

Guy: But definitely I'm in the business of protecting people.

Pranker: How big are your- your muscles like- ho- what do you look like?

Guy: I'm a big guy! [laughing] Uh- a big part of security is an intimidation factor as well.

Pranker: Yeah...

Guy: It's better to stop a problem before it ever happens you know?

Pranker: Definitely yeah. Just curious- how much can you benchy?

Guy: Can I bench? I can bench a lot! [chuckles]

Pranker: Right.

Pranker: Do you think you can like send me a picture of you, something like that?

Guy: Yeah, I could do that, send it to this number? Is this you cellphone?

Pranker: Okay-

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, but can you do like, a shirtless one?

Guy: [laughing] I'll send you a picture.

Pranker: Yeah I just wa- I need to see everything you know- I need to see like th- the bicep, the quadracep, the thigh, the kneecaps, stuff like that...

Guy: [laughing]

Pranker: I just need to make sure that if- I want to hire like a big gorilla motherfarker you know like, to fark some crap up when needed.

Guy: [laughing]

Pranker: But also you know, put a stop to any- any tomfoolery. Bu-

Guy: I'll send you a couple of pictures.

Pranker: Okay, but what I was thinking is like a front shot, a side shot and then a shot from the back.

Guy: I don't think that's appropriate. It's not- and that's another thing to all my guys are trained, I have guys that are ex-law enforcement, ex-military, uhm...

Pranker: Do y- do you have anybody that look like- like a- John Cena? Like the guy from the wrestling, like a big guy-

Guy: [laughing]

Pranker: Sometime I want somebody to be kind of a sneaky right? Like, I walking very normal, very good, then somebody fark with me, all of a sudden- [John Cena theme song] you know what I'm saying?

Pranker: Like, the farking- yeah.

Guy:: Yeah.

Guy: Yeah.

Pranker: Just send me those ass pictures real quick, so I can just kind of ou know, be sure that you know, we good to go.

Guy: [laughing] I'll send you a formal picture.

Pranker: No, no-

Guy: I'm not gonna do all that, I try to keep it professional.

Pranker: No, no for sure it's very professional. Right? Take a couple angles right,so I can just see all the muscle flexing right? Like a front, back, you bend over, something like that.

Pranker: Not a big deal right, nothing too-

Guy: What was your name again?

Pranker: They call me Buk Lulu, you know.

Guy: Alright Mr.Lulu, I'll send you a picture.

Pranker: Don't forget okay? I want like a portfolio of- of- of your muscles.

Guy: [laughing]

Pranker: I'm gonna see your ass too right?

Guy: [laughing] No, you're not gonna see my ass. [chuckles]

Pranker: Come on man! And jiggle it for me a little bit, just so I can make sure it's stiff right?

Guy: Nope, sorry boss. Not gonna happen.

Pranker: I'm saying so you j- so I know your muscular right? Not just like a jiggly motherfarker right?

Guy: Hey you have a good day sir.

Pranker: But okay, give me the kiss.

Guy: Have a good one. [phone call ends]

Pranker: But wait- [laughing]

Pranker [speaking to audience]: I think I came a little too strong.