Awkward Instagram Followers Prank Call - SERIOUS Stalker!

Best quotes: 

• “Maybe bad genes or something, it looks like you have small legs, but maybe it's the genes, right?”
• “Don't touch the hot doggie, okay? Don- don't touch it! Don't touch!”
• “Oh, you're saving it for marriage, right? So you don't bust the nut?”
• “We can make a falafel sandwich with your tahini sauce.”

Body of content:

I was told this Saudi gym rat thinks he’s an expert when it comes to physical fitness, so I prank called him as one of his own Instagram followers to tell him everything he was doing wrong! His annoyance with Rakesh was noticeable right away but he tried to keep his cool for his Instagram fan. Buk got in on the action too, but as a crazy girl who wanted something extra special from her favorite Instagrammer!

The call went in a direction I definitely did not expect! What other Instagrammers should I call up as a crazy fan? Tell me who you’d like to see get pranked by Ownage in the comments below!

 

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Transcript

Pranker [speaking to audience]: This guy's a gym rat who thinks he's an expert when it comes to physical fitness.

Pranker: And he hates when people tell him otherwise. He has a few hundred followers on Instagram and often posts-

Pranker: workout pictures. So, I'm calling him up as an obsessed fan who's dying to work out with him. Check this out.

[phone ringing]

Guy: [speaking on Arabic] (Peace upon you=hello)

Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Uh, yeah, uh, hello, uh- c- can I talk to uh, [censored], please?

Guy: Excuse me, may I ask, who are you?

Pranker: Uh, yeah, uh- my- my name is Rakesh, I just kind of wanted to join your healthy lifestyle, I saw you on Instagram.

Guy: A- alright, so, you're basically a fan, right?

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, I am your #1 fan, right? Definitely.

Guy: Alright.

Pranker: Actually, you know, I've been doing some research and stuff like that too on like form and training and that kind of thing.

Pranker: [inhales] And a couple times in your videos-

Guy: Yes?

Pranker: I saw that, you know, maybe that uh- it was er- a little bit not the best. So basically, I can bring my learning-

Pranker: and- and my notes too, to help you out.

Guy: Honestly, HONESTLY, I believe I work out in a- in a VERY VERY GOOD WAY!

Pranker: Yeah, no- no doubt! And like- I noticed a lot of your pictures, you wear pants and stuff too, maybe because you want to-

Pranker: just hide the legs a little bit? So, we can uh- do maybe some leg routines, we can spot each other, that kind of thing-

Pranker: I think it would be helpful for both of us, right? The chicken legs is not good, right? It's not good.

Guy: LEGS ARE MY STRENGTH POINT, I squat 365 like nothing! CLEAN!

Pranker: Oh, really? Crap. Maybe bad genes or something, it looks like you have small legs, but maybe it's the genes, right?

Pranker: It might be the genes.

Guy: Sure! I can- obviously you have a lot of knowledge about lifting.

Pranker: Yeah, win-

Guy: I can- I can, you know, I can learn from you, why not?

Pranker: F- for sure man, I am- I'm very smart, I s-, I read all the books. Uh- what- what gym do you work out at? I will come to you-

Pranker: aryuo- I am okay with that.

Guy: I can work out at your place or at my city- whatever you want.

Pranker: I actually also have a massage table at my apartment in case you wanted to after kind of just give each other deep, er- kind-

Pranker: of muscle relaxing massage after, just to ki-

Guy: So you- you are massage therapist, basically.

Pranker: Yeah ol- I am also massage therapist, yeah right.

Guy: Alright.

Pranker: What- what kind of oil do you like it for the massage?

Guy: What?

Pranker: What kind of oil do you like it? I have a cupboard full of oils, right? I c-

Guy: What kind of oil do I like for massage [chuckles], I don't know, the good one. You know the good one.

Pranker: yeah, yeah, we can do almond oil, I have an olive oil, I have-

Guy: Yes, uh- bu- uuh- em- I'm sorry, sorry my friend, do you- do you- do you like do massages in a- in an illegal way, or? Do you have a shop, or what exactly is?

Pranker: Yeah, I used to have a shop, it is- it was very popular, uh- there was somebody got in trouble for pulling the chicken tikka masala-

Pranker: some time, one time, they got in trouble for that [inhales], but, I- I am certified.

Guy: Uh, I see, I see, so uh- uh, you have experience in- in this field. Alright!

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, like, like sensual massages, I- I'm- I'm good at it.

Guy: Like what!? Like what? Sensual massage, what does that mean?

Pranker: D- is- sensual massage, right? It's good with the oils and the candles that kind of things.

Guy: Uh, I don't get you my friend.

Pranker: No, it's just- it's a sensual massage, you will be relaxed, you will- we will- we will release all your stress points.

Guy: Well, we'll see- we'll see about that, we'll see about that, now meanwhile, we- we should- we should talk seriously about working out together-

Guy: you see- I- I- lo- I actually like working out with a partner, you know, I can maybe help you. At some- some techniques, and you can help me, you know!

Guy: We can share knowledge, why not?

Pranker: No, definitely! Yeah, for sure! I just- if- if I give you one massage, will you give me one too after though? Or it's going to be one way street?

Guy: What? Uh, if I- if I- ugh- if you give me a massage wa- wo- what would I do it to you?

Pranker: Yeah, I'm asking, will you give me a massage too? Because like, you know I- I want to just- me- I'm gonna be awakening-

Guy: Well, actually, I don't know how to do massages, but, uh- t- uhm- whisower- yeah, you're the therapist, th- you're the therapist, I- I don't know-

Guy: how to do massages.

Pranker: Well, what are your pressure points? So, I kind of know where to focus the hippity hoppitus.

Guy: Uh yeah, actually my lower back is kind of hurting me, so the past week, I- I did a set of deadlift 365 ten reps straight, and I kind of ruined my back, so-

Pranker: So, like- lower back and buttocks, right? Like, that area?

Guy: Lower- lower back and buttocks!? [chuckles] Uh no, actually, my- JUST- my lower back.

Pranker: Er- ba- ba- by the tailbone sometimes, you know, it is connected ri-

Guy: Well ahe- let me- [chuckles], my friend, do- don't make this sound awkward, you know?

Pranker: No, no, it's okay, I'm just saying like, just- to- to- to squeeze the cheeks, it's okay, it's like- it's gonna be oo- with the oil, right?

Guy: No- no shame.

Pranker: No I- I know, I'm just, I know maybe you're uncomfortable but- but you know, it- it helps to get rid of the toxins and that kind of thing.

Guy: [chuckles]

Pranker: Uh, you know, some clients, they also want to do an enema after, it helps with the cleansing. But, we don't have to do that, it's up to you.

Guy: I- I- I did only- I did massages only two or three times in my life, so-

Pranker: What kind of massage, like, professional one? Or like uh-

Guy: well eh-

Pranker: do they do happy ending? Or something like that?

Guy: happy en- g- psh- man, THAT is SO, no! Of course they don't!

Pranker: Oh okay- coo- I-

Guy: There's- no- I- I don't- I don't prefer that kind of massage, you know?

Pranker: No, I get it, but, you know, if you- if you close your eyes and use some lotion it feels the same honestly, it's not like- very different, it's kind of like-

Guy: WHA-

Pranker: uuh-

Guy: man, you, [laughs], youthinkyou- hh- you are so out of the subject. Ho- just like-

Pranker: No! No! I'm just say-

Guy: What?

Pranker: it hebl- it helps to release the toxins, right? It helps to release the stress, it's very-

Pranker: stress relieving, right? Afterwards, you see, you feel so drained, right?

Guy: Yeah, but, you know, as a- as a lifter, I don't actually hh- prefer to- you know because, if you do-

Guy: that kind of stuff a lot uh- you'll- you'll ruin your muscles, so, you know?

Pranker: Oh, you're saving it for marriage, right? So you don't bust the nut?

Guy: Yeah, I mean I'm kind of- yes, yes, kind of- so.

Pranker: Oh, okay, alright, okay. Yeah, honestly I thought busting the nut is like a healthy one, right?

Pranker: I heard that it helps to kind of keep the-

Guy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get your point, you wanna help me, I know, I know that, I know! I know!

Pranker: Yeah, who knows, maybe one thing can lead to another and then, bust the nut.

Guy: You know, that- [laughs], I mean sure. Sure.

Pranker: Okay, cool man, so I wanting next week, what is a good time for you, next week?

Guy: Yeah, next week in a- is fine, maybe, maybe, say Friday, maybe? Next Friday, so eight days from now?

Pranker: Okay, are you at the gym by yourself right now?

Guy: Well, yes, I am at the gym, right now and by myself.

Pranker: Oh-

Guy: And, you kind of wasting my time, because I wanna start working out. It's chest day, I don't wanna miss it.

Pranker: Okay, well just make sure, li- lift really hard today and then just-

Guy: Dude, I always lift hard, don't worry about that.

Pranker: W- I will relieve all the stress for you on Friday, we will drain it.

Guy: Uh, okay! Oh, alright, alright, alright, thank you! I appreciate that.

Pranker: For sure, there is also- there is also one girl, I know her, she is also a big fan of yours-

Pranker: is it okay, she asked e- is it okay if I give her some of your tahini sauce afterwards as a souvenir?

Guy: So- some- oh my go-

Pranker [tries not to laugh]

Guy: I'll talk to her personally, and I'll- I'll see what I can do.

Pranker: She's here with me right now, if you want to say hello, right?

Guy: Uh- sure! Why not?

Pranker [speaking in the background] Okay, hey, come here!

Guy: e-

Pranker [speaking in the background]: Yeah, no, it's [censored], he's here! I'm talking right now! [explosion sound]

Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Uh he- hello?

Guy: Yeah, hello.

Pranker: Yeah, what's up man, how are you doing?

Guy: Uh, I'm- I'm good, I'm good. How are you?

Pranker: I am good, I'm good, thank you for asking, you know, we actually a big fan of your Instagram, uh- wa- w- we watch-

Pranker: all the movies, you know?

Guy: Thank you! Thank you, I appreciate my fans, thank you! Thank you!

Pranker: Er, yeah, you know, so I'm, you know, I'm just, I am a little bit sick after my operation, you know, but-

Guy: After you- a- what kind of operation did you have?

Pranker: uh, no, I- I just became a lady this week.

Guy: Uh, oh! Alright, so I'm sorry for you, ma- my- my- my dear friend.

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, it's hard man, it's hard out there for the pimp, you know? So, I'm just resting, right now?

Guy: I hope you get well soon.

Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Yeah, hello man, thanks for that, I appresh- I know you want to get like-

Guy: Yeah, hello, hello, what's up, hello?

Pranker: Did you have a preference for the oil? Before I hang up?

Guy: I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE- you're- you're the therapist, I don't know.

Pranker: E- do you want me to use two hands?

Guy: Dude! [laughs] I don't know!

Pranker: Okay, but, any idea which kind of oil would feel better on your hot doggie?

Guy: [laughs] I don't know! You show me, and I'll pick!

Pranker: E- diy- de- there is one new- there is one new massage type of technique that involves Serrano peppers.

Pranker: Just to keep it hot and spicy. Do you wanting to use?

Guy: Wo- what!? There's what, one kind of technique that what!?

Pranker: It uses a Serrano pepper, so I'm saying we can make it kind of hot and spicy, right?

Guy: [chuckles] Hot and spicy in- in- in what way? Dude, I am STRAIGHT! Alright? You're making this really-

Pranker: Uh, no, no, it's not awk-

Guy: really awkward- am I right?

Pranker: it's not- no, no, no-

Pranker: uh, na- I- I am- I am single and ready to mingle, right? If you want to hit the town together we can do it.

Guy: What the fark? [laughs]

Pranker: No, no- no but look, I'm just saying, you know, like if e- if- if we need to make a little bit gay, we can just say-

Pranker: no homo, right? And it's okay, ri- I- I think it's fine.

Guy: Please, can you please hang up, I wanna work out, I wanna start working out?

Pranker: Okay, so, the next working out video, you know, just me- you know, just- j- d- make sure you- you pump it real good-

Pranker: I want to see you pump it.

Guy: Okay, what kind of exercise do you want me to do for you my friend?

Pranker: Uh, if you can do just a deadlift and then just put your ass facing the camera.

Guy: And- wha- aah- puy my ass in the camera, thanks! That is so polite dude! Thank you very much. Dude, I've got to go. I- o-

Guy: I really need to work out- start working out.

Pranker: Okay, alright, okay, don't touch, do- don't touch the hot doggie until next week, okay?

Guy: [laughing] Oh my God.

Pranker: We can make a falafel sandwich with your tahini sauce.

Guy: Dude, I've got to go. I've- uh- I really need to work out, start working out.

Pranker: If you can do just-

Guy: Well, I- I'll talk to you later. I'll talk to you later.

Pranker: Okay, alright, do- do- don't touch the hot doggie, okay? Don- don't touch it! Don't touch!

Guy: I won't! I won't. Believe me. I PROMISE I won't.

Pranker: Okay, stroke you later.

Guy: Nice to talk to you, thanks.

Pranker: Okay.

Guy: Okay. Talk to you later. See you- see you my friend. [hang up]

Pranker: O- wait, but, ye- no I'm not- [laughing] [speaking to audience]: I don't know, [inhales], that was one weird fark, I mean that was hilarious, but like-