Balls in the Toilet Prank Call! Toilet Pranks

Best quotes: 

• “I try to sit down and the uh, the water is a VERY VERY HIGH! Inside the toilet! And I-, I try to sit down! And my ballsack HIT THE WATER, right? VERY DISGUSTING!”
• “You motherbitch I will bring the hookah pipe and shove up your ass!”
• “Look, MISTER STUPID, I NEED YOU TO MAKE APOLOGIZING TO MY ROOMMATE, he's here crying now like very sad man.”

Body of content:

I called a gas station as Buk Lau about my unsatisfactory visit to their nasty bathroom (which is partially a true story) and this toilet prank got crazy! The man I spoke with was completely unhelpful and told Buk he did NOT want to hear his unpleasant story. I bring in Abdo when the middle-eastern employee doesn't seem to care about Buk Lau's issue. 

The conversation between Abdo and the rude employee escalated into both hurling some funny insults at each other! Have you ever had an awful gas station bathroom experience? What other places should I call to complain about nasty toilets? Let me know in the comments!

 

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Transcript

[phone ringing]

Guy: Marathon.

Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Hello? 

Guy: Yeah, hello, can I help you? 

Pranker: Uh  yeah, I need to talk to someboody who can help me with a problem I have it with Gas Station BATHROOM, please? 

Guy: I'm sorry? 

Pranker: GAS STATION. BATHROOM. PROBLEM. 

Guy: Oh, Gas Station bathroom problem? 

Pranker: Right!

Guy: Well, are you  inside the gas station? 

Pranker: No, I'm not inside now! SILLY GOOSE, I am-, I-, I go to yesterday! I come to the bathroom!

Guy: Okay, what happened? 

Pranker: OKAY! Basically, I try to go inside, to take a big, uh, take a number two, take a POO! But I try to sit down-

Guy: Mhm.

Pranker: I try to sit down and the uh, the water is a VERY VERY HIGH! Inside the toilet! And I-, I try to sit down! And my ballsack-

Pranker: HIT THE WATER, right? VERY DISGUSTING! 

Guy: Okay, uhm-

Pranker: An-, and-, and today, NOT ONLY THAT, LET ME FINISH! Look, and today, I wake up in the morning very itchy, right? At 5 o'clock-

Pranker: in the morning, I WAKE UP. VERY ITCH, ITCH, ITCH, I ITCH THE BALLSACK NON-STOP, YOU KNOW? AND THEN I WAKE UP-

Pranker: after that at like 10 o'clock in the morning and my BALLSACK look like uh, GRAPE FRUIT! VERY SWOLLEN, YOU KNOW? 

Guy: Okay.

Pranker: So, basically, I become THE VERY SICK BOY, what can you do FOR ME? 

Guy: Uh, we can't do anything for you, it's a pub-, it's a public bathroom.

Pranker: No but, what happened here, is a-, it-, it-, it-, not eh-, VERY DIRTY inside, you don't clean it? 

Guy: Well-, if you-, if you-, if you saw that the bathroom was dirty, why did you use it at the first place? 

Pranker: Because I, I need to go, VERY BADLY! You know, I had to take a big POO!

Guy: Well, you have to take a, if you-, if you wanted to take a poo then you have to-, to-, to-, well... The bathroom was dirty then. That's what happened, you know? 

Pranker: Do you understand, what hap-, do you know what happened to me? OK. MY BALLSACK HIT THE WATER, inside, very disgusting!

Pranker: VERY DIRTY, I don't know if I get-, the-, eh-, SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE or something, or what happened here!

Guy: OK! OK! Okay listen! I-, I-, I-, I-, I don't want to hear this-, this-, this-, this-, this conversation, just call back in the morning. 

Guy: You-, you'll find someone to talk to.

Pranker: Ok, what do you mean-, eh-, WHAT DO YOU MEAN "I don't want to hear the conversation." I try to TALK TO YOU! You want to help me? You going to keep, uh, MAKE EXCUSE!

Guy: No, it's just, this is disgusting! That's-, that's why I don't want to hear it! 

Pranker: OK IT'S DISGUSTING FOR ME TOO! What do you think HAPPENED TO ME, okay? 

Guy: OK THAT'S FINE!

Pranker: You don't have to DEAL WITH IT! 

Guy: That's why I'm telling you call in the morning! 

Pranker: OK BUT DON'T, be like a s-, don't be like a A*****E GUY! You know, try to help me, or something, IS NOT GOOD. 

Guy: Hey, SHUT UP! SHUT UP don't say A*****E guy, SHUT UP, okay? 

Pranker: LOOK! You-, YOU SHUT-, YOU SHUT THE HECK UP! DON'T TELL ME THAT! You don't want to HELP ME! 

Guy: HEY SHUT UP! SHUT UP! 

Pranker: HEY, FARK TO YOU! Do you give me GOOD CUSTOMER SER-

Guy: NO GO FARK YOURSELF [hang up]

Pranker: Hel-, hello? [laughing] 

 [phone ringing] 

Guy: Marathon.

Pranker: I believe we got off, on the wrong FOOT. Okay? LOOK, what can we do here?

Guy: What? 

Pranker: What can you do for me, for the uh-, COMPENSATION for my PROBLEM?

Guy: Hey listen, just call back in the morning.

Pranker: I don't know-, I don't-, I WANT TO FIGURE OUT NOW! OK? I'm very sick boy! I sitting here, with the uh-

Pranker: THE ILLNESS AND THE RASH AND THE BRUSING! I look like a GRAPEFRUIT! In my pant! And I want to, something!

Guy: Don't-, don't-, listen the-, I don't want to hear these details! Just call back in the morning! 

Pranker: OKAY, LOOK, don't be a stupid guy! A-, are you the Arab guy? Are you the ARAB guy?  

Guy: Go fark yourself! 

Pranker: GO FARK TO YOU, YOU STUPID ASS.

Guy: [hang up]

 [phone ringing] 

Guy: Marathon.

Pranker [speaking as Abdo]: Uh, yes, hello-, eh-, my-, my roommate eh-, speak with someone just now about uh-

Pranker: problem he's having and uh-, somebody keep hang up on him. He tell me, he think is a Arab guy and he-

Pranker: want to to speak with him.

Guy: Okay, what do you want? 

Pranker: Okay, do you, do-, do you talk to my uh, my roommate just now? The Asian guy? 

Guy: Yeah, he was telling me something about him, getting sick from the bathroom.

Pranker: I-, I was sitting here the whole time, but I don't understand what happened? Why you hang up on him-

Pranker: why you argue with him, y-, you tell him, you don't want him to talk to so-

Guy: I told him, you guys can call back in the morning. B-, but the manager will be here in the morning, you guys can-

Pranker: NO! You-, you-, no look, look, don't make like a STUPID, okay?! What you said to him, was you are-

Guy: Hey listen! Listen, hey you-, shut up, don't tell me stupid, ah listen, you motherfarker, don't tell me stupid-

Pranker: LISTEN. MOTHERBITCH. DON'T SPEAK WITH ME LIKE THAT!

Guy: no, no, listen, listen, you motherfarker-

Pranker: I'M GOING TO COME RIGHT NOW!

Guy: come you piece of crap! Don't fark-, COME-, COME TO THE-

Pranker: I am-

Guy: GAS STATION-, I'LL FARKING KNOCK YOU OFF! Don't farking-

Pranker: YOU SHUT YOUR-

Guy: talk to me like this.

Pranker: SHUTTING FACE, I WILL BRING the hookah-

Guy: Go fark yourself you motherfarker. 

Pranker: YOU MOTHERBITCH, I WILL BRING THE HOOKAH PIPE AND SHOVE UP YOUR ASS!  

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker: Hello? [laughing]

 [phone ringing]

Guy: Marathon.

Pranker: Hello, I believe we got disconnected, okay, what can we do here to help my friend with the problem? 

Guy: Hey listen, uhm-, I-, I told you.

Pranker: Look, you are being very disrespect and very rude okay? So, talk to me-

Guy: Listen, listen, I'm not being rude! I told you call back in the morning! That's-, that's it!

Pranker: But why, you are being lazy or something, OKAY I KNOW YOU WANT TO SIT ON YOUR ASS TO GET PAID THE-

Pranker: SIX DOLLAR PER HOUR BUT HELP ME! 

Guy:  Hey, listen, listen, you motherfarker listen don't-, it's none of your farking business how much that I get paid, okay? You stupid fark.

Pranker: Fark-, fark your face! 

Guy: Okay well, go fark yourself, bye. 

Pranker: Hello? 

Guy: Go fark your-, your Asian boyfriend you motherfarker.

Pranker: WELL THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY MOTHERBITCH!

Guy: [Hang up]

Pranker: Hello? [laughing] [speaking to audience]: I almost lose it!

 [phone ringing]

Guy: Marathon.

Pranker: Look, MISTER STUPID, I NEED YOU TO MAKE APOLOGIZING TO MY ROOMMATE, he's here crying now like very sad man.

Guy: Go fark-, go suck his d**k and fark yourself.

Pranker: Okay, I'm about-, I'm about to hit it from the back right now, you want to watch? You want to listen to what happened? 

Pranker: I will pay you like uh-, seven dollars per hour t-, to sit there and watch me. It will be like a raise for you! [laughs]

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker: Hello? [laughing] [speaking to audience]: I guess I really gotten under his skin, [indistinctive speaking] stupid.