Category: Craigslist and Backpage pranks, Prank call
Format: Subtitled
Characters: Abdo
Prank Victim: Girl looking for help getting breast implants
Rage Level: Feel-good
Best quotes:
- “Population .5, it’s one midget he’s living there”
- “I have very good uhh gauging meter of sexuality from the telephone and you are OFF ZA CHARTS”
- “How big are your mangoes right now?”
Body of content:
I discovered an ad posted online by a girl who was looking for someone to pay for her boob job! I called her up as Abdo to attempt to take her up on the offer and ask her some questions about her “mangoes”!! The girl ended up being really entertained by Abdo’s antics through this whole call.
According to the girl, the ad was posted during a drunken night with a friend, assuming no one would take it seriously. Imagine her surprise getting a call from Abdo and then finding out this was all a crazy breast implant prank call! Should Abdo call up some more weird online ads? What kind of crazy listings should I look for next? Tell me in the comments!
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Transcript
[Phone ringing]
Lady: Hello?
Pranker: Uh, hello?
Lady: Hi!
Pranker: Yes, how are you? I, uh, I spoke a little bit, uh, about uh-
Pranker: the advertisement you have it for uh, the implant?
Lady: Oh, okay. Hi! How are you?
Pranker: I-, I'm excellent! How are you doing?
Lady: Uh, I am good, thanks.
Pranker: Can you remind me one more time, uh, your first name? Just so I can speak with you.
Lady: It's Susie
Pranker: Susie, ok-, Susie, you sound-
Lady: Yeah
Pranker: like a DROP DEAD GORGEOUS
Lady: [Giggles]
Pranker: I'll just have, you know-
Lady: No! [inhales], no.
Pranker: I-, I-, I have a-
Lady: I am not re-
Pranker: I have a very good-, I have a very good, uh, GAUGING METER OF SEXUALITY from the telephone-
Pranker: and you are OFF THE CHARTS
Lady: [Laughing] [inhales] [giggles], no.
Pranker: KILLING IT.
Lady: [Laughs] Where are you from?
Pranker: Uh, I am, uh, from the Middle East, I just moved to London, I have a lot of International Business-
Pranker: and the thing is I was bored and uh, just doing like, uh, BROWSING, and, uh-
Lady: [Laughs]
Pranker: I saw your advertisement, so I said, let us call this girl see if we can help her-
Lady: [Laughs] [inhales] Well, thank you.
Pranker: WELL NO PROBLEM! UH-
Lady: [Laughs]
Pranker: So tell me a little bit about yourself, you sound like a nice, great, bubbly person!
Lady: Uh, well, I moved here about, uh, five months ago-
Pranker: Okay
Lady: yeah, and I just came here by myself and did little bit of traveling and now I'm just trying to-
Lady: settle in, and create-
Pranker: Okay
Lady: a new life here, yeah.
Pranker: OKAY, ALRIGHT, I like that! Yeah, so-, If you don't MIND ME ASKING, HOW BIG ARE YOUR MANGOS RIGHT NOW?
Lady: [Laughing] Are you for real?
Pranker: OKAY, I-, I like to use, uh, FRUIT REFERENCE, but if you'd like me not to do it, I don't have to do it.
Lady: [Laughs] No! I don't know, just, uh-
Pranker: I like to be different-
Lady: [Laughing]
Pranker: you know, everybody, OH HOW BIG IS YOUR TIT? HOW BIG ARE YOUR BOOB? I don't like to say that-
Lady: [Laughs]
Pranker: I like to talk about MANGOS, GUAVA, EXOTIC FRUITS-
Lady: [Laughing] [lip smack] I don't know!
Pranker: Okay, you know, you but you don't-
Lady: Yeah-
Pranker: you have to tell me
Lady: They're-, uh, they're a B.
Pranker: The B. Okay, B is great! Okay, but, you want to like, UPGRADE, right?
Lady: Yeah!
Pranker: Okay
Lady: Yeah, yeah.
Pranker: Alright, but look-
Lady: [Laughing]
Pranker: If you do this, you can not get like a balloon tittie, where it looks like-
Pranker: uh, not good, you got to get THE GOOD GUYS who is like EXPERT-
Lady: Yeah [laughs]
Pranker: SURGEON WHO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE NICE A DROOPY EGGPLANT, RIGHT?
Lady: [Laughing] No! What?!
Pranker: Okay, but-
Lady: I don't want them looking like EGGPLANTS.
Pranker: Okay, but, not-, not like a droopy, but some beeble I-, some beeble, I see them-
Pranker: they get-, they get like a ROCK HARD, uh, TWO COCONUTS IN THE CHEST.
Lady: [Laughing]
Pranker: It's a so crazy-
Lady: Yeah, I know what do you mean
Pranker: Yeah, yeah, don't do that! But, uh-
Lady: Mhm.
Pranker: YEAH, so-, can you pr-, can you maybe propose what you can do as like, uh, an even-
Pranker: exchange or something, if I can FINANCE your-, uh-, your MANGO, uh, ripening.
Lady: [Laughs] Are you for real though?
Pranker: I am absolutely for real-, why-, do you-, I know I like a LIGHT HEARTED JOKING-
Pranker: but yeah, I am serious.
Lady: Oh my gosh.
Pranker: Okay, so like, uh, if I get them for you, o-, obviously I will see the final result, right?
Lady: [Giggles] Yes.
Pranker: Okay, but will you do, the-, the-, the-, what do they say in this country... THE JUMPING JACK for me?
Lady: [Laughing] Serious?
Pranker: A-, a-, a-, AFTER YOU HEAL! I am not going to make you do like FRESH STITCHES JUMPING JACK-
Lady: Yes.
Pranker: you know, like th-, £2500 down-, down the drain, you know? Yeah.
Lady: [Laughing]
Pranker: Okay. Alright!
Lady: Oh my gosh.
Pranker: Afterwards, we can TEST to make sure it's not like a COCONUT, can you-
Lady: [Laughs]
Pranker: do like a HANDSTAND up against the wall to make sure it has like, uh, GOOD GRAVITY, uh, dropping?
Lady: Yeah, I could try.
Pranker: OKAY! Alright!
Lady: [Laughs]
Pranker: So-
Lady: Hm?
Pranker: do you have A BOYFRIEND right now? Or what is the deal?
Lady: No! Of course not!
Pranker: OF CO-, [lip smack], wow...
Lady: [Laughs]
Pranker: You are going to make a guy very happy, so you want to get like, uh, you want to UPGRADE-
Pranker: hardware and the, uh, start scouting for the people?
Lady: No!
Pranker: Okay, but-
Lady: I don't want a boyfriend
Pranker: W-, w-, what do you want, like a boy toy or something?
Lady: No
Pranker: Okay-
Lady: I just-
Pranker: It's okay, I UNDERSTAND. You want a HUSBAND, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
Lady: [Laughs] Depends, will you look after me?
Pranker: Yeah! I mean, I will look after you, give you all the implanting you need it-
Pranker: it will be great!
Lady: [Laughing]
Pranker: Uh, anybody else uh, reach out, about your advertisement?
Lady: Uh, not really
Pranker: Okay, SO WHY DO YOU THINK-
Lady: Yeah
Pranker: I AM NOT SERIOUS? Because you are like: "Nobody an-, nobody want to help me-
Pranker: this guy must be like a JOKING."
Lady: Because, I put-, I put-, I don't even remember, I put that ad on when I was like really drunk [laughs]
Pranker: OH OKAY! OKAY! And so, you are with the girlfriend LIKE: "HEY BABY I AM GOING TO POST THIS, SOME GUY-
Pranker: WILL PAY FOR IT, WIN, WIN."
Lady: [Laughing] Yeah! No, I didn't expect to hear anything.
Pranker: Oh, okay. Oh, well. See? Uh, I was-, I saw your advertisement-
Lady: [Laughs]
Pranker: stuck out to me BOOM in the face! Unlike your mangos
Lady: [Laughs] Are you really for real?
Pranker: Have you ever had like, uh, Middle Eastern, uh, guy in your life?
Lady: No.
Pranker: Okay! There is a first time for everything!
Lady: [Laughs] But it's just-
Pranker: What?
Lady: sounds like, I don't know
Pranker: Okay, don't worry, I will show you, the other side, I have like-
Pranker: uh, EXPERIENCE, uh, I can show you a tour of my, uh, MY PARADISE-
Lady: What?
Pranker: My paradise! You know! My-, my-, I have like my own like-, you know-
Pranker: RICHARD BRANSON?
Lady: Yeah
Pranker: Yeah, I have like a Island too.
Lady: Whatever!
Pranker: YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
Lady: No! I don't!
Pranker: [Lip smack] uh, I-, I HAVE A ISLAND! It's a very nice Island!
Lady: [Laughs]
Lady: Where?
Pranker: POPULATION.FIVE. It's one midget, he's living there
Lady: [Laughs] Why a midget?
Pranker: BECAUSE I LOVE, the little people, my friend! You know, like, I can-, I can have two for one
Lady: [Laughing]
Pranker: Yeah, yeah, so-, I know you did it, while you were DRUNK, but are you still, uh, interested-
Pranker: to actually get a IMPLANT?
Lady: Yeah
Pranker: OKAY, OKAY, so, NOW WHAT, YOU KNOW, I AM A NICE CRAZY GUY, not crazy, but you think I'm crazy-
Pranker: probably, uh, WHAT CAN WE DO TOGETHER?
Lady: Uh, I don't know, what do you want to do?
Pranker: Maybe I can take you for one NICE DATE, sometime?
Lady: Mhm
Pranker: What do you think?
Lady: If you want!
Pranker: I-, I-, I KIND OF-
Lady: Yeah.
Pranker: already know I don't have A CHANCE! We can not get married, you don't a boyfriend just want-
Lady: [Laughs]
Pranker: like a ONE NIGHT STAND or something?
Lady: Well how-, how old are you?
Pranker: [Sighs] [lip smack] DO YOU LIKE older guy or younger guy?
Lady: Doesn't matter
Pranker: Okay, I-, I-
Lady: I just-, I-, I ask you-
Pranker: Well I am-, I am THIRTY TWO years old
Lady: Mhm, and how long-
Pranker: Yeah
Lady: when did you move here?
Pranker: I move here like, uh, TWO WEEKS ago for business, I will be here for two more-
Pranker: months, travel back a come back again DISCO DANCING
Lady: To where?
Pranker: Uh, the United Arab Emirates.
Lady: Whereabouts? Which one? Dubai?
Pranker: RIGHT.
Lady: And where are you staying now?
Pranker: Uh, I'm-, I'm in London right now.
Lady: Yeah, but where?
Pranker: You know! Do you want to come see me? I can give you the address?
Lady: [Laughs] What's the address?
Pranker: Okay, let's not get too carried away here, first, I need to trust you first!
Lady: [Laughs] What's-, what area?
Pranker: [Lip smack] I [lip smack] look, I'm in the London, okay?!
Pranker: I-, uh-, I-, before I get to tell some beeble, I have a very BIG EMPIRE BUSINESS-
Pranker: like I'm just have to be a little bit CAUTIOUS, you understand?
Lady: [Laughs] Yeah, just say what area, so, I can believe you.
Pranker: So you don-, so, you're telling me now you don't believe me because of the area?
Lady: BECAUSE! How come you can't say an area?-
Pranker: Do you?-
Lady: Are you even in London?
Pranker: I AM W-, WHOOP? OKAY, COME ON NOW, uh, let-, let's not get CARRIED AWAY of c-, OF COURSE-
Lady: [Laughs]
Pranker: I'M IN LONDON, you think I just-, YOU THINK I JUST sit around-
Lady: [Laughs]
Pranker: and look on CRAIGSLIST TO MAKE A YOUTUBE VIDEO TO-, TO-, TO POST IT?
Lady: [Laughs] Yes!
Pranker: [Character break] What-
Lady: [Laughs] Yes.
Pranker: You think I'm-, I'm a CRAZY GUY HERE OR SOMETHING?
Lady: [Laughing] Yes!
Pranker: You-, you-, you-, YOU THINK I-, I-, I-, I POST ON YouTube.com/OwnagePranks or something?
Lady: [Giggles] Yes!
Pranker: [Lip smack]
Lady: [Laughing]
Pranker: WELL! You got me! [Laughing]
Lady: YAY! [Laughing]