Prank Calling To Return Boxers With A Poop Stain

Best quotes: 

• “After having my leg touch crusty doodoo, ya know, I feel like my life's never gonna be the same again”
• “All I can do is think about it inside, my SKID MARK, right? All in my head SKID! SKID! SKID! You know? Like a CAR. ErrrErrrh!” 
• “YOU HAVE TO SMELL MY PAIN!”

Body of content:

This is a classic call I did to one of my favorite stores to prank - Walmart! They get some of the weirdest customers so they generally buy into my pranks, but they definitely weren’t prepared for this one! I called their customer service and told them I’d bought boxers from their store that came with a POOP STAIN.

In typical Walmart fashion, they passed the call around a couple of times between different departments, and I kept switching characters with each new employee! I finally got in touch with a manager to explain the poop stain situation, and bartered with him for a while over appropriate compensation.

This ended up being a pretty lighthearted, silly prank! What other kinds of calls should I make to Walmart? Would you like to see another funny poop stain prank? Tell me in the comments below! 

 

Similar videos you’ll love:

Exploding Toilet Prank Video - Poop Everywhere!

Old Man Prank Call - He's Pooping On Our Lawn (Animated!)

Hilarious Dirty Panties Prank Call

 

Transcript

[Phone ringing]

Employee: Hello? [Censored] can I help you?

Pranker: Duh hello, can I talk to somebody in the men’s underwear part, please?

Employee: Uh, excuse me, can you repeat that?

Pranker: Oh, can I speak to somebody in the men’s underwear department please?

Employee: Okay, uh, hold on one minute

Pranker: Alright, thank you

Employee: Uh huh.

Employee: Yes ma’am, what were you looking for?

Pranker: [Speaking as Billy] Uh hello, eh, excuse me?

Employee: What were you looking for?

Pranker: Can I speak to somebody in the men’s underwear department please?

Employee: Yes I am for men’s.

Pranker: Uh, ah, uh, uh, uh, I came in to the store the other day and I bought

Pranker: myself a pack of Hanes boxer briefs

Employee: Ok

Pranker: And uh, it was the packaging that had a Buy 4-Get-1 Free it essentially had

Pranker: five pair of uh large boxer briefs inside of there. So I went home

Pranker: I came back from a long day of work and I wanted to, you know, shower up and

Pranker: get clean, I work in construction, so i dun diddly take me a shower, and

Pranker: I get out of there and I pull out one of these new pairs of underwear and

Pranker: I put it by my clothing, and you know, I stick my leg in there, and I see

Pranker: right smack dab in the middle is a big DOO DOO stain right smack dab in

Pranker: the middle of these new pair of underwear, and I don't know what to do

Pranker: I thought this kind of some, some kind of sick joke, I don't know what's

Pranker: going on here. But I see there's a big, st-, st-, crusty DOO DOO stains

Pranker: inside these underwear, I don't know if somebody returned them already

Pranker: and, and, you guys put them back on the shelf, I don't know if somebody

Pranker: had the RUNS and decided to wipe this ass with it, I don't know what to do

Pranker: Ah, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, it's-, it's just absolutely mortifying.

Employee: Yes sir, I understand, what you can do is, you can bring it to customer

Employee: service and we will refund your money fully, and I'm sorry that happened.

Employee: We do not actually put up any underwear that's returned it might've...

Pranker: You see, cuz-, cuz-, because I came in to the store, I asked somebody

Pranker: can you help me find these underwear, he said: "These are a great value."

Pranker: I said, I-, I DUN DIDDLY DOO DAH BUH DUN, uh, I just want me you know

Pranker: so-, so-, a pair of BOXERS and it just really, you know, ah, eh, eh, eh

Pranker: after having my leg touch crusty DOO DOO, you know, I feel like my life's

Pranker: never going to be the same again, you know what I mean? It just It's

Pranker: absolutely disgusting. I-, I don't know, what, what kind of person was

Pranker: was, was crapping in there, I don't know who's, who's skid marks they are

Pranker: You know what I mean? Because I DUN DIDDLY DOO, I just wanted me a new pair

Pranker: of Boxer Briefs and, and, eh, it's just very stressful for me.

Employee: Yes sir

Pranker: And, do, do, do you know if I could be compensated? In some way or something?

Pranker: Because, you know, I-, I don't merely eh, bringing back my, my seven dollar

Pranker: pair of Boxer Briefs, you know? I-, I-, merely getting a new one after having

Pranker: crusty DOO DOO rub up my leg, I, ah, I just want to know if there's some

Pranker: kind of customer SATISFACTIONS you can do for me, because, this hurts.

Pranker: I'm menta-, I am mentally scarred from I'm-, I'm mentally-, eh, this hurts

Employee: Huh, the only thing I know of is, we can refund your money

Employee: someone at the customer service desk may be able to tell you more?

Pranker: Well-, well-

Employee: I can go ahead and transfer you over there and they can help you connect.

Pranker: Okay, if you want, if-, if-, if that's what you recommend, alright and

Pranker: and what-, what-, what's your name again?

Employee: My name is Heather

Pranker: Uh, Leather?

Employee: Heh-ther

Pranker: Oh Heather, sorry, alright, thank you

Employee: You're welcome. Hold on one moment, and I'll transfer you over there

Pranker: OK dun diddly

 [Phone ringing]

Employee: This is service center speaking, how can I help you?

Pranker: [Speaking as Buk Lau] Duh hello [laughing] hello

Employee: I'm sorry?

Pranker: Hello, how you doing today? I talk

Employee: Good, how can I help you?

Pranker: I talk to some lady right now, I talked to her in the men’s clothing

Pranker: department right? Uh, I buy the uh, the Boxer Brief?

Employee: Uh huh

Pranker: And somebody and I don't know if, somebody return it or something but I pick

Pranker: the box of the brief right?

Employee: Uh huh

Pranker: And I-, I-, I-, I go home, I working, right? I work at the Chinese Restaurant

Pranker: I try, I work very hard, I come home to take a-, hello?

Employee: Yes, yes I'm listening.

Pranker: I go to take a shower, and i take out, one st-, one of the boxer brief, right?

Employee: Uh huh

Pranker: and I put my leg inside, and somebody, look like somebody already used the, the

Pranker: How do you say-, somebody, it's already dirty, you know? I put inside the, the

Pranker: somebody already has, you know BATHROOM inside the, inside the fabric

Employee: Ok sir, what you can do is bring in those, uh, the item in a bag, and bring your

Employee: receipt, and we will refund you, okay?

Pranker: But I do not know, look [sigh] look

Employee: And then I, I mean, I can't do anything right now, as far as the phone right now

Employee: uh, when you do come in

Pranker: I know, I know, I want to under-, you 

Employee: When you come in, we can speak to a manager and have them deal with that, ok?

Pranker: Ok, relax ma'am, please, why you, you sound like you rush, I try to talk to you

Pranker: explain what happened, right? I'm very TRAUMATIZING, okay? 

Employee: No, I totally understand, but I'm

Pranker: Fully

Employee: I'm trying to let you know, that uh, you can bring it back, we can do the refund on that

Employee: and then we can speak to a manager about the incident

Pranker: Okay, but

Employee: That's what I'm trying to...

Pranker: Okay, do you understand, I look, I want to know, what we going to do, I pay like a six-seven

Pranker: dollar, right? What-, what-, I get the seven dollar refund, that's it? My, my, my, my leg

Employee: LOOK

Pranker: My leg just, my leg touching

Employee: This is, see you're not listening, this is what I'm trying to let you know sir

Employee: I'm going to do the six or seven dollar refund, and then you can speak to a manager

Employee: and in if they decide, or if you guys, if you let them know that you would like

Employee: something else, besides the 7 dollars, then, you have to talk to them when you come in

Employee: and you can take care of that.

Pranker: Ok, but here, ok but

Employee: The day you come in

Pranker: But how, how is this possible, I want to understand, this is not a normal thing, you know?

Pranker: I tell my friend, they say: "What the heck-

Employee: I totally, I mean

Pranker: that's crazy!", you know?

Employee: I understand

Pranker: I-, I my foot inside is a CRUSTY DOO DOO right? Somebody take a big CRAP inside already

Employee: Oh my god, I am so sorry, believe me I totally, I understand

Pranker: You don't! you

Employee: You, you're stress about that

Pranker: You think is, you think it's not a serious, right?

Employee: Uh, you

Pranker: It's a very serious

Employee: I'm not sure, sir

Pranker: I have a mental, mental damage, you know?

Employee: Hello sir

Pranker: I go, I go through crazy time, you know? I have feeling too, you know? I-, I go to sleep

Pranker: at night, it hurt me, all I can do is think about it, inside my SKID MARK, right?

Pranker: All in my head SKID SKID SKID, you know? Like a CAR, you know what I'm saying?

Employee: Okay sir, uh, like I said, I mean I can't do anything else, I-, I mean I can like

Employee: Only let you know what you can do. and your option is to come in, get the refund for that

Employee: and speak to management about that, and let them know

Pranker: Ok, can I talk to the manager, right now, then?

Employee: Sure let me go get them for you

Pranker: OKAY! Ok, excellent

Employee: It'll be just one second, one second

Pranker: Thank you

Employee: You're welcome

Pranker: But, but please hurry

Employee: One second

Pranker: RUN

Employee: [Laughs] One second sir, thank you.

Pranker: Ok

 [Phone ringing]

Manager: Customer service

Pranker: Duh hello

Manager: Hello

Pranker: Hi, I talk to somebody, she put me on hold for like a TEN MINUTE, I wait and waiting

Pranker: waiting, waiting, nobody come

Manager: Ok sir, I got the, I got the manager, on line one for you, one second, ok?

Pranker: Okay, what happened? I wait, you don't tell me anything [sigh] so [slap]

Manager: So this is Dave, can I help you?

Pranker: Duh hello

Manager: Hello, yes

Pranker: Hello Dave, this, did the lady, con-, uh, explain to you what happened?

Manager: Uh, I believe briefly, yes uh

Pranker: Oh

Manager: she said you purchased a product?

Pranker: Ok

Manager: Hello?

Pranker: Yes?

Manager: Ok, she said you, you purchased a product and what was the issues with it?

Pranker: Ok, I, I come to the store, right? With, uh, I buy the, the Hanes boxer brief

Pranker: the pack of five, okay?

Manager: Mhm 

Pranker: And I-, I-, I go home, I-, I-, I-, I buy, I pay for the [cough], I pay for the

Pranker: new one, you know? I-, I-, I-, I go home and I-, I-, I-, I-, U try to-, to take

Pranker: shower, right? I have one outside, I put my foot inside and somebody, I see that

Pranker: somebody [laughs] it's a, is a dirty inside already somebody look like is a used one

Pranker: Somebody, half, half a, a FEE-CEE inside, you know? I don't know what to do, I don't

Pranker: who, who sell the used one, you know? Who, who does, who do that? That's a DISGUS-

Manager: Ah

Pranker: DISGUSTING, you know?

Manager: I-, I certainly have no idea sir, um

Pranker: Do you think some, but ho-, I don't understand how, you know, I buy, I buy a pack of five

Pranker: I don't know what to do, you know, my, my, uh, is a very, eh, uh, I want to understand

Pranker: What-, what can we do about this, okay, I don't want a five dollar refund, THAT'S IT

Pranker: Ok, is a very, is a very FRUSTRATING for me, is, is a DISGUSTING, you know? I wake, 

Pranker: I can't get the, the-, the PICTURE out my mind, I look, I looking, in the bathroom, all I

Pranker: think is a BOOM, you know? Memory time

Manager: Ok, uh, eh, I don't know what, the situation was with it, i can certainly refund the product

Manager: and in fact with that product, you know, we wouldn't even want it back in the store, dispose of it

Manager: and just bring us the receipt

Pranker: NO, no, no, I will not, no I, you have to see, you know, you have to, you have to smell my PAIN

Pranker: you know? I look at it, it's a DISGUSTING, who do that to anybody. I don't know what to

Pranker: you know, it's a, I tr-, I try to get the PICTURE, out of my mind, you know? Is a very tra-, trauma

Pranker: TRAUMATIZING exp-, experience for me, what the, eh

Manager: Ok, uh, again sir I, I certainly apologize, um, but like I said, we don't even put this back

Manager: If this came, you know, from the manufacturer, like I said

Pranker: Duh manufacturer

Manager: if you have-

Pranker: The manufacturer send the product with a-with a

Manager: If you have any issue with any- if you have-

Pranker: CRAP inside?!

Manager: an issue with the product

Pranker: Who do that one? Who do that?!

Manager: I'm sorry-I'm sorry...

Pranker: I say, you know, eh you, Haynes they ship the product

Pranker: with the-with the CRAP inside? They do the product testing or what?

Manager: I-I honestly sir, I have no idea.

Pranker: But okay, what can we do for com-pen-sate you know?

Pranker: I- my- I is a very uncomfortable you know, it hurt me you know?

Pranker: I-I try-I try to-I try to understand how-how this happen, you know?

Pranker: It's not a normal thing. I could- I-I buy anywhere else this not

Pranker: happen to me! Why-why sell me the crap THE CRAP underwear you know?

Manager: Okay sir, I the- honestly, I've never heard that in my years of Walmart

Manager: I've never had somebody tell me this has happened.

Pranker: It's cra- I know!

Manager: Me either, I mean this isn't like

Pranker: but it never happen to me either you know?

Manager: We're selling this on a regular basis. I can certainly refund you

Manager: for the product that you sold, you know, that we sold.

Manager: If you're not happy with it, obviously.

Pranker: [sigh]

Pranker: I don't know eh, you know eh, uh...

Pranker: I'm very frustrated! Very hard for me to speak to you you know?

Pranker: I try to think, ca-can you hold one minute, can you explain

Pranker: to my roommate what you want to do please?

Pranker: Look, 'cause I... I'm confused right now 'cause I don't understand

Pranker: Ho-ho-

Pranker [to Tyrone]: Ty-Tyrese come here ta-talk to this man-

Pranker: Remember that this is the Walmart, i talk to them about the-the-

Pranker: the underwear, right? Come, come...

Pranker [as Tyrone]: Alright, alright...

Pranker: Uh, hello?

Manager: Yes.

Pranker: Uh, yeah, I was just talking to my-my-my roommate trying to explain

Pranker: to you what's happening. I'm trying to follow along,uh...

Pranker: Wh-wh-where we at right now?

Manager: Okay, what-what he was explaining to me was that he purchased a product

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, he told me all about it he-he was crying

Pranker: and it was pretty uh, he's a very emotional man so it was-it was

Pranker: pretty hard on him.

Manager: Okay, um, I-I can certainly understand that and-and that's what I'm

Manager: telling him is, you know uh, certainly I can refund the product

Manager: We don't need the product-

Pranker: Alright, but-but-but let-let me get something straight, did he explain

Pranker: to you the severity of it? Because this ain't no, this ain't like a

Pranker: Oh I had a little bit of a tear, there was a thread that came apart

Pranker: in my under- in his underwear, you know what I'm saying?

Pranker: He-he-he uh, he took a sho- he took a shower, he said he tried to put the

Pranker: underwear on, and there was a big doo-doo stain smack dab in the middle

Pranker: of the underwear and he's trying to, you know, he's trying put it

Pranker: put-put his underwear on and-and there's...Who-who-who sells underwear

Pranker: with crusty doo-doo already in there, you know what I'm saying?

Pranker: That-that never happens that's- that ain't normal you know what I'm saying?

Manager: Certainly I mean the I-I

Pranker: That's just-that's just weird

Manager: I- absolutely I'm sh- uh wh- what would he have me do?

Manager: What-what would, what would he like me to do?

Pranker: Hold on.

Pranker [to Buk Lau]: Hey yo, Ranga-Ha. RANGA-HA!

Pranker: Ca-can you let ma- I'll go ask him real quick

Pranker: Can you run hold on for ten seconds?

Manager: Sure.

Pranker: Alright one sec.

Pranker [to Rang-Ha]: Yo Rang-Ha, what do you want him to do?

Pranker: Yeah-

Pranker [as Rang-Ha]: I don't know

Pranker [as Rang-Ha]: It's a very uncomfortable.

Pranker [as Tyrone]: Alright, go talk to him. Alright, he's going to  come talk to you

Pranker [as Rang-Ha]: Hello?

Manager: Yes

Pranker: Ok, uh, uh, what-what happen he tell me what you can do anything for me?

Manager: Well no that's-that's what I was asking is-is what-what-what is it you

Manager: would be asking of me to do because I-

Pranker: You not-

Manager: told you we could-I told you we could refund it, you're telling me that's not acceptable.

Pranker: I think 'cause he knows- they tell

Manager: So what I was asking was

Pranker: you know I talk to-I talk to my friend you know I was with them

Pranker: They tell me you know the customer service in America is the best one

Pranker: you know, something like this is a big-is a big problem.

Pranker: I want to, you know, some compensate, you know? Gift card or something.

Pranker: You know this is cra- you know this is not normal for me you know.

Pranker: I put the-the-the crap touch my leg you know?

Pranker: What-what do I do? And I can't forget it, just like that.

Manager: Okay and-and that's what I was saying what-what type of compensation

Manager: were you looking for?

Pranker: So you want to pay my psychologist?

Pranker: I go see him!

Manager: I-I have no idea, eh, I mean is-is that what you're asking me?

Manager: Is whether or not I can authorize payment of a psychologist?

Manager: I-I can't do that.

Pranker: But wh-what can we do? You know, I am mental=l- I am-I am

Pranker: Eh, duh, it do the brain twist

Pranker: My-m- uh

Pranker: I don't know what to- my

Pranker: it cr- it get it-it very frustrating for me.

Pranker: I can, everyti-every time I put my underwear on it's like uh,

Pranker: it-it-it come replay my mind you know, I try to...

Pranker: I try to forget about it you know, I put on the underwear

Pranker: I scream, it's like flash BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM in my mind.

Manager: Okay, let-let me put me on hold for just a minute sir.

Pranker: Okay. Please, don't. Last time I wait like a 15 minutes,

Pranker: don't take too long this time for me please. Thank you.

Clinton: Hi, this is Clinton, how may I help you?

Pranker: Duh, hello?

Clinton: Hello.

Pranker: I talk to somebody,  put me on hold right, this I is

Pranker: I confused right now.

Clinton: How can I help you?

Pranker: I wai- Are you the manager please?

Clinton: Yes.

Pranker: I'm sorry, I talk to somebody else right now, he tell me put me on hold

Pranker: I don't know what happen right?

Clinton: I'm his boss. How can I help you?

Pranker: Ok, did he explain to you what happen?

Clinton: Yes.

Pranker: Okay, well w-what can we do?

Clinton: I told you, bring in your receipt, we'll give you your money back.

Pranker: I thought the, you need to- Did I talk to you before?

Clinton: Bring in you receipt, we'll give you your money back.

Clinton: Can I help you with anything else?

Pranker: Excuse me, wh-why do you have attitude with me?

Clinton: I do not have an attitude sir, you're asking me what we can do for you

Clinton: and I'm telling you what we can do for you and I'm answering your question.

Clinton: Can I help you with anything else sir?

Pranker: I want to understand what can we do for compensate?

Clinton: I already told you what we can do what else can I do for you sir?

Pranker: LISTEN! Don't give me the this attitude!

Clinton: Thank you for shopping at this Walmart.

Pranker: Ok, you don't understand what happen to me! [call ends]

Pranker: [speaking to audience]: Okay we're calling him back.

 [phone calling sound]

Employee: [beep sound] Walmart how may I help you?

Pranker: Duh, hello can I speak to Quentin please?

Employee: Who? Clinton?

Pranker: The, yes.

Employee: Just a moment.

Clinton: Hi, this is Clinton, how may I help you?

Pranker: Duh, hello Clinton. I talk to you before you remember me?

Clinton: Yes sir.

Pranker: Okay, what happen? You know I talk to you, my-my eh-

Pranker: I don't understand what happen. I-I you hang up on me?

Clinton: No sir.

Pranker: [exhales]

Pranker: Well, I was not finish and you hang up on me, you hang the phone.

Pranker: You going to lie to me?

Pranker: Why you do that one?

Clinton: How can I help you sir?

Pranker: Okay, I want to understand first. I will-I will tell you but why you hang up

Pranker: on me? What do I do to you? You know, I first time talk to you

Pranker: You talk to me for like a

Clinton: How can I help you sir?

Pranker: thirty second right? And you hang up on me.

Clinton: How can I help you sir?

Pranker: Uh, okay, I want to know what-what we can do about my problem

Pranker: and why you hang up on me- Those two things that how you help me okay?

Clinton: Okay, I already explained to you what we can do for you sir.

Pranker: You talk to me for forty second and you hang up on me! I don't understand

Pranker: anything okay? I'm sorry, I don't understand English like you, ok?

Pranker: You have to give me some time to-to compre- to

Clinton: What language do you speak sir?

Pranker: I speak English and I speak-I speak Chinese.

Clinton: Okay, I speak Mandarin Chinese as well.

Pranker: Ok, talk to me

Clinton: You talk to me first sir

Pranker: Okay. Mon gui

Clinton: Talk to me first sir

Pranker: Lam si lam yah

Clinton: Talk to me first sir

Pranker: I am talk to you right now! You lie to me!

Clinton: Is there anything else I can help you with sir?

Pranker: Do you speak-do you speak Mandarin or do you lie to me?

Clinton: I

Pranker: Lam yay mo yeah

Clinton: Um gaih oh ya mkay

Panker: Sum leeh ah? What?

 [phone call ends]

Pranker: Hello?

Pranker: [laughing]

Pranker: Hello?

Pranker: [laughing]

Employee: Walmart how may I help you?

Pranker: Duh, hello? Can I speak to Clinton please?

Employee: Just a moment.

Pranker: Okay, thank you

Clinton: How can I help you?

Pranker: Ok, you lie to me again, you hang up on me two time now right?

Clinton: How can I help you sir?

Pranker: Okay can-can do why do you lie to me I want to understand

Pranker: Why you put me through the suffering, what do I do to you?

Pranker Do I hurt you? Do I do anything to you?

Clinton: I spoke with your s- I spoke with your roommate did I not?

Pranker: I, but it duff, eh, look, ah

Clinton: Did I not speak with your roommate?

Pranker: I do-I don't under but that

Clinton: Did he not explain to you what-what we can do for you?

Pranker: I don't understand-

Clinton: That is all we can do for you sir.

Pranker: Do you speak a-

Clinton: Is there anything else I can-

Pranker: DO you speak a Mandarin? Yes no

Pranker: Because I need to understand 'cause it's easier for me we talk Mandarin.

Clinton: Right, no I do not

Pranker: We do it?

Clinton: I do not speak that however sir-

Pranker: WHAT? Do you lie to me?

Clinton: Sir I am telling you

Pranker: WHY do you lie to me

Clinton: Can I help you-

Clinton: Can I help you with anything else sir

Pranker: Yes, why are you the big liar?

Clinton: oh can I help you with anything else sir?

Pranker: You remind me uh, you the Pinokio or something?

Pranker: You have a big nose or something?

Pranker: Hello?

Pranker: Hello?

Pranker: Okay [laughing] Dude the golden part was him farking trying to speak Mandarin.

Pranker: That was farking golden.