Category: Craigslist and Backpage pranks
Format: Subtitled
Characters: Chris
Prank Victim: Backpage prostitute
Rage Level: Mellow
Best quotes:
- “My parents have been giving me a lot of flack for being ‘of the gay’ as they say”
- “WOULD YOU TAKE A DUMP ON ME?!”
- “I’m like totally totes mcgoats excited!”
- “And then we could both, ya know… pick the corn out of the feces”
Body of content:
Websites like Backpage are the PERFECT place to find unusual people to prank! I found a prostitute listed on Backpage and decided to pull off an awkward prank call to see how far I could push things before she had enough! I called as Chris, my super flamboyant gay character, to ask her if she could help me feel try to get “excited” for a girl.
This girl has to be one of the most chill prostitutes ever. She took my bizarre fetish requests really well, until I stepped it up to level 10 weird by asking her to dissect some feces with me! The way this call progresses cracks me up. Backpage prank calls can’t happen anymore with the website being shut down, but would you like to see more crazy calls from other classifieds sites like Craigslist? Tell me in the comments below!
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Transcript
[phone calling sound]
Prostitute: Hello?
Pranker: Hello!
Prostitute: How are you? [chuckles]
Pranker: Good, how are you? I'm looking for Chanel?
Prostitute: This would be her! [chuckles]
Pranker: Hey! Uh, I know this may be kinda weird but I saw your advertisement on...
Pranker: ...Uh, Backpage and I was wondering how much you charge per hour?
Prostitute: One... Uh, per the hour?
Pranker: Y-yeah, a-assuming that's like incr-increment you usually do this is
honestly my first time so like
Pranker: [nervous laugh] It's kinda new.
prostitute: [chuckles] Hm, Okay, well one...
prostitute: I'm really outgoing and I'm easy to talk to so don't be nervous.
Pranker: Okay- Alright, cool.
Prostitute: Okay?
Prostitute: Take a big deep breath, chill out, you know? [chuckles]
Prostitute: Uhm, two I can do $200 for the hour.
Pranker: Okay! Uhm, well... basically what I'm trying to do is my...
Pranker: I've been getting a lot of junk like I'm-I'm a gay guy, to be honest...
Pranker: ... but my-my parents have been giving me a lot of flack for being 'of the
gay' as they say and all this stuff.
Pranker: So I was wondering if maybe... This sounds kinda weird but I wanna see is
potentially
Pranker: If I'm with the right girl, I'm really attracted to black women,
Pranker: I feel that way kind of but I've actually never been like,
prostitute: Mhm...
Pranker: erect aroused because of a woman in a really long time?
Pranker: And I was wondering if I like, came over there if we could possibly
Pranker: have some fun activities and then you can try to make me uhm... Stiff if
you will. [chuckles]
Prostitute: Aww, this'll- [phone button sounds]
Pranker: Hello?
Prostitute: Hey![chuckles]
Pranker: What happened there? Did you push a button or something?
Prostitute: Probably, my phone's touch screen [chuckles]
Pranker: Whoopsie! It's alright
Prostitute: Uhm....
Pranker: Yeah.
Prostitute: No, actually yeah, I'm totally down. It's funny you say that because...
Prostitute: I thought I was gay until I was 15 and like... Yeah! [chuckles]
Pranker: Okay! Alright, cool and are you in to like-
Prostitute: So, yeah...
Pranker: Are you in to like any cool like weird things? I mean I have some like
interesting fetishes 'n' stuff...
Pranker: but I don't know what you're into or if like, maybe the price is right
or...
Pranker: ...or like how that works?
Prostitute: What are your fetishes?
Pranker: Uh, well [sigh] I kinda like to be dominated and...
Pranker: I really really do enjoy being peed or defecated on. I know that's kinda
weird but...
Pranker: I don't know if you might be down with it.
Prostitute: Yeah, I'm totally down.
Pranker: WOULD YOU TAKE A DUMP ON ME?
Prostitute: Yeah, I would.
Pranker: OH MY GOD! THAT'S SO PERFECT I'VE BEEN WAITING!
Pranker: [gasp] I'm so- I'm like totally totes McGoats- excited.
Pranker: [chuckles]
Pranker: Okay, uhm, and-and by any chance if I kinda made like-like a request
Pranker: for what you can eat ahead of time and maybe like it- ca-
Pranker: [fumbling over words] Money's not really an issue but I just...
Pranker: Kinda I mean I'll definitely take care of you but I just wanted to make
sure you know, we
Pranker: can, uh, you know, get down, together.
Prostitute: Okay well we can meet up and talk then.
Pranker: Okay, awesome. Uh, last question just before just so I can kind of verify
that
Pranker: you won't be too... Like I don't wanna wait until last minute and have you
there
Pranker: and then you say 'Oh I can't do that', you know what I mean?
Pranker: Uh, so, if-if with the whole defecating thing... Would it be okay if I
requested that you ate like a bunch of corn earlier?
Prostitute: Uh...
Pranker: 'Cause it would be-
Prostitute: I don't think I can do that but...
Pranker: Do you like- Do you like corn?
Prostitute: I can eat McDonalds? [chuckles]
Pranker: Do you not eat vegetables or something? You look good girl!
Pranker: I mean, [chuckles] come on!
Prostitute: Alright, well I would much prefer if we met up in person and talk...
Pranker: Yeah I know! I just, uh, I totally understand I-
Pranker: I just wanna make sure that it's not gonna come down to it and you don't
wanna do it or something...
Pranker: ...'cause then that would be a waste of your time and-and my time as well,
uh...
Pranker: I-I-It'd be a really fun- in the off chance that you can't get it up for
me
Pranker: and it doesn't work if we could kinda just share like a bonding experience
together
Pranker: and then we could both you know, pick the corn outta the feces!
Potentially.
[phone call ends]
Pranker: And she's gone! [laughing]
Pranker: Girl was like [mumbling] [laughing]
