Hilarious Detroit Gas Station Prank Call! Ownage Pranks

Best quotes: 

• “Look, I can come in there like ninja mode...”
• “I want to be G-unit cool guy right?”
• “With all due respect, you are trying to avoid me and being a little bit useless.”

Body of content:

I did this gas station prank call on a 7-Eleven in Detroit as Rakesh - a customer who got the runs from their hot dogs! After explaining the nasty situation to them, they were totally unsympathetic and told Rakesh he must be making things up. I couldn’t even get some Pepto Bismol out of them!

Some of the funniest prank calls I’ve done have been on 7-Elevens! Is there a gas station near you that you think would make for a funny prank call? Should I call more places in Detroit? Let me know in the comments!

 

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Transcript

[phone ringing]

Employee: Hello?

Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Yeah, I'm having one problem, I come in there to get the condiment on my hot doggie, but the condiment looks very old and not fresh...

Pranker: ... maybe like fungus, but I eat it and I become very sick, right?

Employee: So you ate some fungus?

Pranker: I think, maybe right? In the hot dog ketchup dispenser right?

Employee: Mmm.

Pranker: Yeah-

Employee: We are- we clean our hotdog, our ketchup and mustard every single day, so it shouldn't have been any uhm, FUNGUS on it.

Pranker: But yeah, I know-

Employee: Because we clean, EVERYDAY.

Pranker: I know it was very uncomfortable right? I've been on the toilet trying to- I'm having runs all day, right?

Employee: Yeah, I get it but we- we- we clean this all day. So it's never any fungus on there.

Pranker: Yeah but s- but s- but- somebody taking short-cut-

Employee: So I know that's not true.

Pranker: [stuttering] NO. OOO come on now, right.

Pranker: Somebody taking short-cut right? Somebody not wiping it really good, somebody only using water, somebody-

Employee: No, we clean it.

Employee: EVERY SINGLE DAY. And if you've seen fungus on there you should've contacted uhm...

Pranker: But-

Pranker: But yeah- but yeah I thought it was maybe like a new seasoning or something they use on the ketchups right?

Employee: One of the staff members-

Pranker: I- I saw like little bit blue piece right? Little bit white area right? It look-

Employee: What- what is it that I can do to help you out?

Pranker: You can-

Employee: What you need? A pepto-bismol or something?

Pranker: Yeah, maybe one Pepto-Bismol and then $50 gift card.

Employee: Oh well no, that- that won't be happening. You can go to corporate 7-11 and write a complaint.

Pranker: Look-

Employee: On your website it'll give you the address and I hope you feel better.

Pranker: Look- Ok, I understand- but with-

Pranker: With all due respect, you are trying to avoid me and being a little bit useless. So just try to help me please-

Employee: I'm- I'm giving you the proper way to complain sir, I'm not trying to avoid you-

Pranker: no, no, no, but- But I want to complain to you right?

Employee: I'm not gonna give you anything OUT OF MY STORE. You're not gonna get anything out of this store.

Pranker: But-

Employee: So, you can-

Pranker: But yeah I don't want-

Pranker: Look, I can come in there like ninja mode

Employee: You can come- I DON'T NEGOTIATE- I DON'T- I DON'T NEGOTIATE with BULLIES.

Pranker: Are you- are you manager?

Pranker: BU- WHAT?!

Employee: Yes I am.

Pranker: What do you say to me? I'm a bully?

Employee: You- yeah, if you're trying to convince me that I owe you 50$ because you ate fungus.

Pranker: But how- what do you think I-

Pranker: When I grew up in my college days I used to have people beating me up, I was little bit dumb, now you're calling me bully? YOU ARE THE BULLY RIGHT?

Pranker: YOU'RE BULLYING ME RIGHT NOW.

Employee: That's right.

Pranker: Okay, but when- when can I come in for the $20?

Employee: You have a great day, good bye.

Employee: It's not gonna happen.

Pranker: Don't be useless mother farker, come on now.

Pranker: Hello? [chuckles]

[phone ringing]

Employee: Thank you for calling 7-11 [censored] Can I help you?

Pranker: Yeah hello, telephone got disconnected. Are you the manager or no?

Employee: No.

Pranker: Okay yeah, the manager just tell me she will give me $50 Gift Card.

Employee: That's not true and it was me. And I did not tell you that.

Pranker: But w- See why do you lie to me, right? You cannot lie as manager-

Employee: You- you- You lying, you're making my day really nice. Because I'm laughing so hard.

Pranker: Look I-

Pranker: Look- Look- I was just trying-

Employee: Because this is hilarious.

Pranker: Look I was trying to test you right?

Employee: IF YOU THINK I LIVE IN DETROIT AND I'M GONNA ALLOW YOU TO COME GET $50 You...

Employee: You gotta be from some other, you know... You gotta live in Auburn Hills or something.

Employee: It's not gonna happen sweety.

Pranker: Look-

Employee: I'm sorry, go ahead, YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN THOUGH, if you contact corporate 7-11 they may help you out with something.

Pranker: But-

Pranker: But look I just-

Employee: You know, they might be giving you Gift Card or a free hotdog or something like that.

Pranker: But yeah-

Pranker: I just moved here from BANGALORE and they tell me "oh yeah-"

Employee: I can tell you did because you must don't know how Detroit roll baby. It's not gonna happen.

Pranker: Uh bu-

Pranker: But you have a good day, I'm so sorry it's nothing I can do to uh, solve you problem.

Pranker: Okay- but- But look- but-

Pranker: Te- teach me how you roll it, right? I want to roll it like you. I want o roll- to roll hard right?

Pranker: I want to be G-unit cool guy right?

Employee: You want to be G-unit? Who is G-Unit?

Pranker: Right.

Pranker: Right, I- I heard that they- that is the best unit to be a part of, right?

Employee: G-Unit?

Pranker: Right, right, which unit do you recommend it?

[laughing]

Employee: Yeah so, go to 7-11 uh, dot com and it'll take you to the corporate website and you can address your complaints with them.

Pranker: Right?

Pranker: Ok-

Employee: Don't- please don't call back anymore.

Pranker: Okay, right.

Employee: Have a good day.

Pranker: G-G-G-G-UNIT? HELLO? [laughing]