Hillbilly Gets Rude Treatment - Indian Restaurant Prank Call

Best quotes: 

• “I don't have NO FRUIT BUT I DO HAVE THE PROOF.”
• “I'M YOUR DAD, YOU WILL- YOU KISS MY ASS.”
• “Customer what? Service? NO.”

Body of content:

I did an Indian restaurant prank call on a place that was rated 1.5 out of 5 stars to see why they were rated so horribly. The reason was apparent right away! These guys want NOTHING to do with their own customers and were ready for a fight with Billy! This place is such a mess - should I call back as a different character? Let me know in the comments!

 

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Transcript

[film rolls] [phone ringing]

Guy: [censored] Can I help you?

Pranker [speaking as Billy]: Uh, hello? I need to talk to somebody who can help me with a TERRIBLE, MISERABLE EXPERIENCE I had with your food.

Guy: Okay, do you want any delivery or take-out? Something like that?

Pranker: Er, no, I want A COMPENSATION for the TERRIBLE food that got me very SICK.

Guy: No, it's fine, talk to you later, okay? I'm really busy now, alright?

Pranker: Okay I DON'T-

Guy: talk to you-

Pranker: GIVE A CRAP BOY! YOU GOTTA HELP ME RIGHT NOW.

Guy: Later, not now, on the other line-

Pranker: No, NOT LATER, not la- I DON'T CARE the other line, I WILL KEEP CALLING OVER and OVER, again, you understand? Hello?

Pranker [speaking to audience]: Later, later, I'm on the other line, what the fark? [speaking as Rakesh]: Customer what? Service? NO.

[phone ringing]

Guy: [censored], how may I help you?

Pranker [speaking as Russell]: Uh yeah, hi, can I make an order for pick-up, please?

Guy: Ah okay, so, what you having, sir?

Pranker: I- I wanna make a BIG order just for- for me and a bunch of friends, can you guys HANDLE like a large order last minute, or is that a problem usually?

Guy: No, ABSOLUTELY, why not? [giggles]

Pranker: Okay, well actually l- let me- if you don't mind let me just go ahead and pass the phone to him real quick, he'll just tell you what he wants, it should-

Pranker: be pretty quick- quick- one- one second.

Guy: Sure, take your time.

Pranker [speaking as Billy]: Uh hello?

Guy: Hello?

Pranker: YES SIR! So, DO YOU HAVE TIME TO TALK TO ME NOW?

Guy: No, no, I TOLD YOU please, hold the line, you don't- eh- you don't listening to me, what should I do?

Pranker: No, look-

Guy: I don't GIVE WINE, I open it BIG ORDER develop, a big order, sir?

Pranker: no, you asked me, you told me, I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS, DO YOU HAVE AN ORDER OR NOT?!

Guy: Okay, no problem!

Pranker: Eh- it's a- IT'S A PROBLEM because I don't know I- I'M SICK RIGHT NOW, I NEED SOMEBODY TO PAY MY MEDICAL BILLS.

Guy: Is there any proof you ordered food here, and you sick?

Pranker: THE PROOF IS THE FACT THAT YOUR RESTAURANT HAS ONE AND A HALF STARS REVIEWS ONLINE, you know what I mean? Y’all

Guy: I don't care, listen, if- BRING THE PROOF, BRING THE PROOF, I'll be see the, Medical bill, alright?

Pranker: I- I don't have NO FRUIT BUT I DO HAVE THE PROOF-

Guy: Sir, so, forget it, if you don't have- in this country EVERYBODY NEED PROOF.

Pranker: YOU'RE BRING-

Guy: You're lying to me, because you're getting-

Pranker: Sir-

Guy: because [mumbling]

Pranker: sir-

Guy: because the money.

Pranker: Let me tell you something, okay? You know what you're being, right now? A BITCH! I'm sorry, but it's- IT IS WHAT IT IS, you know what I'm saying?

Guy: You don't- I- I- I'M YOUR DAD, YOU WILL- YOU KISS MY ASS.

Pranker: Okay-

Guy: I'M YOUR DAD, alright?

Pranker: ALRIGHT, BANCHOD.

Guy: I AM YOUR DAD, alright? I AM YOUR FARKING DAD.

Pranker: OKAY, alright.

Guy: Alright?

Pranker: BANCHOD, FARK YOU-

Guy: Bye, bye.

Pranker: AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY.

Guy: If you want to FARK my entire family, you have to have PENNIES, like TWO-THREE PENNIES? You are WHOLE PEOPLE, your pennies, don't as STRONG, what are you talking about MAN?

Pranker: You are CRAZY?! You getting MAD?!

Pranker: YOU THINK I HAVE A WEAK PENIS?

Guy: I AM YOUR DAD, alright? I AM YOUR FARKING DAD [hang up]

Pranker: Hello? [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy: [censored] How may I help you?

Pranker: Yes sir, I was just calling because I would like to apologize for what happened. You know, I'm- I- I have ANGER ISSUES and I was REFLECTING on our conversation and-

Pranker: you know, the whole PENIS thing and all that I- it was INAPPROPRIATE and I would like to extend my apologies to you and I will go ahead and pay my own medical bills, okay?

Guy: No problem, thank you very much.

Pranker: Okay, I'm sor- do you accept my apology?

Guy: Yes sir.

Pranker: Okay, and one thing I also like to do, I like to show LOVE so I- I just wanna say I LOVE YOU MY BROTHER!

Guy: Okay.

Pranker: But, y- you love me too though, right?

Guy: Yes sir!

Pranker: But- but can you say it for me, please?

Guy: Yeah, I love you too.

Pranker: No, but- duh- come on now w- w- what's your first name, so we can feel like, you know, we're actually close?

Guy: M.D.

Pranker: M.D.? Like Mountain Dew?

Guy: Mhm.

Pranker: Okay, EXCELLENT, MOUNTAIN DEW, I LOVE YOU.

Guy: Yeah, I'm like M.D. like- like uh- MAD DOG like Medical Doctor, you can tell me anything Medical Doctor-

Pranker: Oh.

Guy: or MAD DOG or Muhammad, whatever you want.

Pranker: Okay, MAD DOG, I'M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU MY MAN.

Guy: [giggles] No problem.

Pranker: Okay, can you- can you say BILLY, I LOVE YOU TOO?

Guy: I love you too!

Pranker: No, but you gotta SAY MY NAME, so it can be personal, BILLY I LOVE YOU.

Guy: I LOVE YOU.

Pranker: No, j- okay, now, just A FINALE to just get this going here, uh, BILLY I LOVE YOU [kiss sound] with a little kiss at the end.

Guy: No problem, thank you very much.

Pranker: Okay, just go ahead and blow it through the telephone, I'll feel it.

Guy: Thank you!

Pranker: Just one li- ok- I- I- you're wel- you're very welcome sir, but can- can you kiss me back a little bit through the telephone?

Guy: [kiss sound]

Pranker: OH MY GOD, SIR.

Guy: [giggles]

Pranker: YOU- YOU MADE MY- YOU MADE MY DAY, SIR I AM GONNA TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT YOUR RESTAURANT.

Guy: Thank you very much.

Pranker: Okay, [mumble], okay, sir! XOXO!

Guy: Thank you! Bye.

Pranker: Okay, SMOOCHES!

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker: [laughing] [speaking to audience]: What a farking ending, [laughing].