Calling an Indian Salon For A Wax - Prank Call

Best quotes: 

• “I’m want to getting my garden downstair waxed”
• “Does it cover the analtality?” 
• “So not the cheek, but the poop chute?”

Body of content:

I called a waxing salon with my Indian character Rakesh, and asked them for help with the COPIOUS amounts of hair in my “garden downstairs”. The girl on the phone had to awkwardly explain to me exactly what body parts the male brazilian service covers, and she was so uncomfortable! 

By the end of this call she was done hiding her annoyance and totally wanted to be done with Rakesh and his weird questions. Should I do another wax prank in the future? Do you remember the first prank that used “analtality”?! Let me know your thoughts in the comments. 

 

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Transcript

 [Phone ringing]

Lady: Hi! Thank you for calling [censored], can you hold please?

Pranker: Hello, how are you doing?

Lady: I'm doing good. Would you mind holding please?

Pranker: Ok, don't take too long, but go-

Lady: Alright, thanks, bye.

Pranker: Okay. 

Lady: I mean, sorry-, one second.

Pranker: Don't-, WHAT, NO, BYE! [laughs]

Lady: Hi, thank you for holding, how may I help you?

Pranker: Hello, how are you doing? What is your name again? Sorry

Lady: My name is Taryn.

Pranker: [Breathes] Ok. Hello, I am new customer, you know, I am looking for new type of-, first time-

Pranker: you know, doing something-, something like this. Uh, you know? I am wondering-

Lady: Okay.

Pranker: what is the pricing for the WAX?

Lady: What kind of waxing were you thinking of getting?

Pranker: My-, my wife, you know? I am from India, and we have a lot of-

Lady: Okay.

Pranker: LOT OF HAIR! And my wife, you know, complain to me and she say: "Rakesh, you know, you're too-

Pranker: HAIRY", all the time, you know?

Lady: Oh.

Pranker: It very-, yeah, it hurt my feeling, you know? [Laughs]

Lady: Yeah, I understand.

Pranker: Uh, you are very sweet lady by the way, thank you for, uh, being compassion, but, I tell you-

Pranker: you know? I don't know. I'm want to getting my-, my-, GARDEN downstairs waxed. Can we do it?

Lady: Uh, yes, we do, uh, male brazilians-, let's see, uh, we only have one esthetician that does it-

Lady: that service, uh, and, her next available it looks it's going to be on Friday at eleven o'clock.

Pranker: Okay, but, you know, I am wondering, what, can I do combination? Can we-, can we do it? Uh-

Pranker: [lip smack], uh, let me think, uh, can we do the-, the back too? 

Lady: The back? 

Pranker: Like, can we do the buttocks?  

Lady: Yes, uh, we do the male brazilian, it's front to back, so, includes the, butt.

Pranker: Do you-, does it-, does it cover the-, the-, the analtality?

Lady: Yeah, it comes with over there, but not the CHEEKS, if that makes sense.

Pranker: It's not, WHAT? 

Lady: It doesn't inc-, ic-, uh, it doesn't include the cheeks, but includes the BACK 

Pranker: I-, I am-, I am sorry I'm not good English, you know? Can you please explain? 

Lady: Ok, uh, ok wait sorry, what part of the BEHIND were you thinking of getting? Or did you want waxed?

Pranker: But-, I-, you-, you're maming confuse right now. What-, what were you saying before?

Lady: Uh, we, uh, the male brazilian is from the front to the back. So it's just everything-

Lady: it removes all the hair from there.

Pranker: Uh, okay, but, can you make elaborating? What-, what part, you know? Everything? Everything?

Lady: Uh, for the behind, uh-

Pranker: All the way to the POOP CHUTE? 

Lady: To the what?

Pranker: What is they call it,  your-, your-, your-, language poo-poo?  

Lady: Oh, I, uh-

Pranker: The poop chute!

Lady: I don't know what that is. It doesn't-, it includes like the ANAL AREA, not the cheeks though. 

Pranker: Oh, not, so, not-, not-, the cheek, but-, but the poop chute 

Lady: Yeah the anal area, but uh, we do have a service-

Pranker: The poop chute, right?

Lady: that does have that so if you did the make brazilian, you can add that on as well. 

Pranker: Okay, how much is-, how much is that?

Lady: So, the male brazilian comes out to eighty-five and then the, uh, butt comes out to thirty-five.

Pranker: Thirty-five, okay, and can we do that BUTTOCKS, you know? All the hair, uh, do, it will cost-

Pranker: I have-, I'm telling you right now, okay? Will be honest, you know? I have a lot of hair. 

Lady: Okay.

Pranker: Uh, I-, it's a lot! You know? It is very-

Lady: Okay.

Pranker: my wife, you know? Don't touch me, she say you look like the whale-, the bear! 

Lady: Oh okay. Uh

Pranker: Is there extra cost, I don't want to-, I don't want to overwhelm, you know? 

Lady: Yeah, no that makes sense, I think it should be fine, we can schedule you, uh, out right now, we-

Lady: normally schedule out on the hour and a half. For the first time and then, she can, uh, get done-

Lady: whatever she needs to get done 

Pranker: But I'm-, just to make a clar-, clar-, clar-, oh sorry, clarimofica-, clarification, uh, clar-

Pranker: clari-, cla-, just uh, clarimify, but I don't, so, the brazilian will do the front? Right? 

Pranker: It will do the front, the GARDEN WAX GONE, POOF, right?

Lady: Yeah, and uh, it goes to the back, but it's only, uh, like the anal area-

Pranker: But so-, and then it goes, the-, the-, POOP CHUTE? The analtality, right? 

Lady: YES.

Pranker: Okay, alright, so, will you do it for me yourself?

Lady: I'm not going to, there's a esthetician that does that, I'm just the receptionist

Pranker: Okay look, I will pay you 300 RUPEES if you do it for me. Because, you know, I'm very-

Lady: Hm?

Pranker: Look I am sorry, okay, but, I am very embarrassed, you know? This is not something everybody-

Pranker: if somebody-, somebody knew in my country, you know, what I am doing, they be like: "Rakesh-

Pranker: you are disgrace, GET OUT, you motherfarker!" you know it, crazy but-, I but-

Lady: Yeah, makes sense but I can't-

Pranker: since that-

Lady: I am not licensed to do that, I can't 

Pranker: Can we do maybe, do you have apartment or something, we can do it together

Lady: Uh, not me, but with a different esthetician, and she's really nice but I can't, I am not licensed-

Lady: to do something like that, but-, uh, her name is Dara, and she has an opening on Friday at eleven o'clock

Pranker: Okay, but, what is your name again, sorry?

Lady: And we do and like, in regards to your concern, we do have client confidentiality policies so like-

Lady: you know we can't give that information out to anybody. So you should be fine.

Pranker: Okay, but, you know, okay look, what is your name again sorry, I have short memory.

Lady: My name is Taryn.

Pranker: Terrin, okay Terrin, will you do for me, I will not-

Lady: No, I can not, I am not licensed to-

Pranker: I will not-

Lady: a service like that-

Pranker: I will not tell anybody, you know I am not-, I am just embarrassed, you know? We can do it in the park-

Pranker: in the car, anywhere you want, comfortable, you know? But, I don't, you know, I can't, you know, I don't-

Pranker: want you know, have to tell somebody else asking about the analtality, THE POOP CHUTE, all this stuff, you know?

Pranker: I've want to make my wife happy, our anniversary come up, and I want her to see me and be like: "OH YOU ARE SO HOT!"

Pranker: you know? Because who knows-

Lady: Mhm.

Pranker: other times, you know, she do-, she-, she play with my GARDEN downstairs and she tells me: "RAKESH! I DON'T WANT TO FLOSS-

Pranker: with you HAIR!" I won't, you know? IT'S TOO LONG, [mumbling], do something about it, you know?

Lady: Uh, I'm not going to-, sorry I'm not going to do it. I can't

Pranker: Okay look, pretty please, with a cherry on top.

Lady: No, I'm sorry, I'm not licensed to, and I would not feel comfortable doing something like that, like I said, we can schedule you-

Lady: with an esthetician and like I said, there is confident, cla-, client confidentiality and all out estheticians are all really good-

Pranker: Okay, I am sorry, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, okay, I am sorry don't be angry, okay? I am sorry. Rakesh is sorry-

Pranker: he apologize, is there somebody-, somebody-, somebody going to get to tell me, tell me what I can do for-, who-, who can I talk-

Pranker: to right now, about is the assermati-, mut-, what is her name? 

Lady: Her name is Dara, but she's not in right now 

Pranker: Do you have her number? Maybe I call her, we have conversation 

Lady: Uh, maybe if you could give us a call back? She will be in on Thursday.

Pranker: [mumbling] I am think-, I am thinking, you know? I don't know what, okay look, how much for the buttocks? To wax the buttocks?

Lady: Thirty-five. 

Pranker: Thirty-five, and to wa-, to wax the analtality poop chute.

Lady: Yeah, that's included in it 

Pranker: Oh, but it's the whole buttocks right? 

Lady: Yeah. 

Pranker: Does that hair not matter? How much hair?  

Lady: What?

Pranker: Does it not matter? How much hair? On the client

Lady: It's a set price 

Pranker: Uh, fine-

Lady: So it doesn't really, yeah it doesn't matter.

Pranker: I'm just, I am giving you warning-

Lady: It's a set price 

Pranker: I am not going to, you know, I don't want to hear complain later 

Lady: Okay

Pranker: Okay Terrin, are you angry with me? 

Lady: Nope! Uh, did you just want to schedule an appointment? Or did you want to talk to somebody else?

Pranker: I will call back for appointment, but Terrin-

Lady: Okay

Pranker: Are you angry with-, I don't want to go to sleep and feel bad, I don't want to make you uncomfortable-

Lady: Okay, you shouldn't feel bad, don't worry about it.

Pranker: You pinky swear me right now? 

Lady: Sorry, what's that? 

Pranker: Can you pinky swear me right now?

Lady: Sure

Pranker: Tell me-, tell me-, I-, I Terrin, pinky swear.

Lady: Okay, uh, you know what? I do, it's fine, you're fine. Don't worry about it, okay?

Pranker: In my country, they say: "BORRDIGALLA, that is mean, I forgive you, can you say with me? BORRDIGALLA

Lady: Okay, I do.

Pranker: Try Terrin! Do it! 

Lady: I'm sorry there is like I have to, there are other people here that I need to help, so I need to 

Pranker: I un-, I un-, Terrin-, Terrin-, I understand you quickly, quickly we will finish, just say BORRDIGALLA

Pranker: Do you hate me right now? 

Lady: What?

Pranker: Are you, do you hate me right now? 

Lady: No I don't it's fine, uh, it's really okay, and you're fine, don't have to worry about anything-

Lady: but give us a call back when you need to schedule something 

Pranker: Can you please say BORRDIGALLA, and we hang up right now 

Lady: Okay, bore-, tical-

Pranker: Excellent! Perfect, okay!

Lady: Okay! Bye

Pranker: Thank you toodalo

Lady: Bye. 

Pranker: Bye, bye. 

Pranker: [Speaking to audience] Okay, you sure as heck know she's farking [laughing] she's freaked the fart out-

Pranker: right now, I've not got a bad though she was a good sport.