Category: Restaurant pranks, prank call
Format: Subtitled
Characters: Rakesh
Prank Victim: Indian restaurant
Rage Level: Hardcore
Best quotes:
- “Motheryucker DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON’T”
- “You want to do the GAY THINGS? We can do the GAY THINGS!”
- “Started from the bottom now my whole extended family’s here”
- “Motherfarker I will come right now and give you the kiss!”
Body of content:
In this funny Indian restaurant prank, I called up a TERRIBLY rated location as my Indian accent character, Rakesh. Rakesh had a bad experience at this Indian restaurant, but after some self reflection at a yoga retreat, he’s decided to give it a second chance! Before he gives them another shot he wants to make sure the food has been upgraded since the last time he came in. I asked if they have stepped up their game or would be willing to give me a great deal to come back!
The staff immediately got hostile with Rakesh and told him to bug off! I sang some modified Drake lyrics to them to lighten things up, but they didn’t seem to appreciate it. Considering this restaurant really only has a 1.5 star rating on Yelp, maybe they should take Rakesh’s advice and upgrade! Neither the owner or his employee could deal with this ridiculous call.
Where should I do an Indian accent prank call to next? Should I call these guys back and see if they remember their old friend Rakesh? Tell me your thoughts in the comments below!
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Transcript
[Phone ringing]
Employee: [Censored] may I help you?
Pranker: Hello, can I talk to somebody who can tell me abouting KAPALAS SKILLY uh-, your food?
Employee: What, what do you like? Uh, what equation can I help you? Can I answer you?
Pranker: ALRIGHT. Basically, I come uh, to restaurant like uh, 3-4 months ago, and, food experience was VERY BAD.
Pranker: But, I went to a YOGA RETREAT in India and just came back the other day and I was taught to-
Pranker: reflect on my life, and the bad THINGS! And give them a SECOND CHANCE!
Pranker: So I wanted to start off with, one of my WORST EXPERIENCE which was DINING IN YOUR RESTAURANT.
Pranker: So I want to know, if maybe, things have changed, over the past 2-3 months?
Employee: What you eat last time?
Pranker: I had, Butter Chicken, Pakora, I hadding uh-, Vegetable Sa-, Samosa!
Employee: So, what is bad?
Pranker: Uh, butter chicken, NOT GOOD. Uh, Pakora, not good, uh-
Employee: So, everything is not good? We use the same recipe, we never change.
Pranker: Pretty much, everything taste like a BAD! But I wanting, to give-
Employee: I don't know how it's bad but, our customer never complain about this sort of thing!
Pranker: Ok, MOTHERFARKER!
Employee: Maybe-, maybe you-, maybe-, MAYBE YOU DON'T LIKE-
Pranker: MOTHERFAKER DON'T, listen to me!
Employee: [Hang up]
Pranker: Ok hello, hello? [Laughing]
[Phone ringing]
Employee2: Eh, good evening [censored].
Pranker: Hello, I talk to somebody right now, and the phone got uh, DISCONNECT.
Employee2: Yes sir go ahead, and say, she's on the line, I'm sorry about.
Pranker: Okay, what is her name?
Employee2: Uh, Pinky.
Pranker: Uh, PINKY-WHO?
Employee2: PINKY! [Background talking] WHY!!
Pranker: PINKY, okay, can I talk to her? Is she there right now?
Employee2: No she's on the line sir, how can I help you?
Pranker: I-, I talk to her about my experience, and I wanting to know, if the food has been upgraded-
Pranker: right? If you guys upgrade the practice, upgrade the SERVICE, right? If I want to know if I-
Pranker: should come give, SECOND CHANCE, sir?
Employee2: No, you not satisfied then, when you don't give the second chance!
Pranker: But-, but see it is not just me! I look at the online, right, I wanting to see, if the food maybe change-
Pranker: but everybody here say, FOOD BAD! FOOD BAD! NOT TASTING GOOD! NOT FRESH!
Employee2: Don't uh-, don't please, don't come OK?
Pranker: NO-, NO-, NO-, LOOK, look-
Employee2: BUT-, you said a bad! Then how you come stop by this restaurant?
Pranker: Because it, I sometime, TIME CHANGE, right, time can heal all-
Empolyee2: No it's not-, TIME IS NOT CHANGE!
Pranker: So the food still, TASTE LIKE CRAP!
Employee2: Everything-, everything is same, but is a, sometime the people lie, like you know the, you know I mean?
Pranker: But see, you have many review, on the YELP, right now! I'm looking on the YELP RIGHT? You have a fi-
Pranker: YOU HAVE A SIXTY TWO-
Employee2: Sir-, sir don't-, don't weego with the YELP! Don't, you have to try! Then you, don't leave it with the-
Pranker: No-, no-, but I try it, right? I try it myself, I-, I want to give, SECOND CHANCE, right? But I want to know-
Pranker: You guys, uh-, satisfy customer.
Employee2: If you want to come, welcome! You try, how's our food again!
Pranker: Okay, but if I come, can I getting uh-, 50% OFF? For, for trying?
Employee2: YOU NOT GET THE PENNY OFF!
Pranker: LOOK, I have a lot of money ok, I'm only asking because, the last time, the food taste, SO BAD! I can afford-
Pranker: ANYTHING, as my friend, uh-, DRAKE used to say, uh-, STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM NOW I'M HERE! STARTED FROM THE-
Pranker: BOTTOM NOW MY WHOLE-EXTENDED FAMILY'S HERE!
Employee2: ONE PENNY YOU'RE NOT GOING TO OFF
Praner: BUT WHY NOT?
Employee2: 50 percent is uh, you forg-, for-, for-, [laughs] [other employee in the background talking], you know the 50 percent.
Pranker: WHAT? Let me talk to PINKY! I hear her right now!
Employee2: No she's other line sir.
Pranker: I-, I hear her! She's talking right now MOTHERYAR, what-, what are you talking about?
Employee2: SIR, we are not giving anybody off.
Praner: OK-
Employee2: 50 percent.
Pranker: Ok, maybe fifty is a lot, right? How about 45%?
Employee2: Yeah, I'm telling you, you'll not get ONE PENNY OFF.
Pranker: But, WHY ARE YOU SO STINGE? Why-, why do you make so cheap? I don-
Employee2: Because you are the cheap, that's why.
Pranker: But how-, it is not ME, right? I try the food, the food taste like THE CRAP. I want to give food another try, you don't want to giving me!
Employee2: THEN WHY YOU EAT THE CRAP? Why you eat the crap?
Pranker: THAT IS-, THAT IS A VERY GOOD QUESTION! I don't know why I eat the crap!
Employee2: Why-, why-, why you eat the fish? Why not try the somewhere else?
Pranker: Because I wan-, I told you time and time again! I was taught to reflect on life!
Employee2: I don't want that kind of customer!
Pranker: MOTHERFARKER DON'T-
Employee2: and blame his-, sir I-
Pranker: LISTEN TO ME! I-, what if-, what if I come inside, eat the food, but then you bring CHECK, I run away and I leave 50% of the check, is that okay?
Employee2: Okay, if you want to come and run, you can't let's see the how you run, OK?
Pranker: But I am not, FAT! I go to yoga, right? I'm a very good shape right now. I can-, I can run VERY FAST, right?
Employee2: OKAY THEN COME.
Pranker: NO FOOD UPGRADE, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT, FARK YOUR CRAP FOOD, WHERE THE REAL FOOD AT?
Employee2: Wh-, why you eat the crap? Because you told me that the food is crap!
Pranker: MOTHER-, MOTHERYUCKER! What are you-, do you know how to say CRAP? Say it one more time! I teach you right now! CRAP!
Employee2: MOTHERFARKER YOU STUPID, okay? You are stupid motherfarker!
Pranker: MOTHER-
Employee2: A*****E!
Pranker: WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING? MOTHERBITCH!
Employee2: FARKING STUPID!
Pranker: DON'T WHISPER! YOU!
Employee2: I IS STUPID-
Pranker: MOTHERYAR-
Employee2: You stupid okay?
Employee2: You stupid motherfarker.
Pranker: You are stupid. You are ugly in the face.
Employee2: Motherfarker you- that's why you eat the crap, that's swhy you motherfarker.
Pranker: That's why you eat to crap.
Pranker: I'm going to-
Employee2: You want to eat the second time crap?
Pranker: Motherfarker!
Employee2: Motherfarker stupid!
Pranker: I am going to-
Employee2: A**hole.
Pranker: Fark you.
Employee2: A**hole.
Pranker: Right now.
Employee2: Motherfarker.
Pranker: Motherfarker I will come right now and give you a kiss.
Employee2: you stupid-
Employee2: Come, come motherfarking a**hole.
Pranker: I'm going to kiss you.
Employee2: Come you can eat the crap again. Okay? Come.
Pranker: I'm going to give you a kiss right now!
Employee2: Fark you! Motherfarker!
Pranker: Okay, I LOVE YOU! Motherfa-
Employee2: I love you- YOU MOTHERFARKER IF YOU COME TO FRONT OF ME, I FARK YOUR ASS OKAY?
Pranker: O-Oh!
Pranker: Alright...
Employee2: Motherfarker a**hole.
Pranker: Alright. You want to do the gay things? We can do the gay things!
Employee2: Stupid. Stupid.
Pranker: You want to putting uh, you want to put your-you CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA inside me?
Employee2: Yeah motherfarker you come to here okay? Come to here!
Pranker: Ok, I'm-I'm going to come right now!
Employee2: Ok, come! Come!
Pranker: Ok! Ok!
Employee2: Come and then I can see you okay?
Pranker: Ok! I'M COMING RIGHT NOW!
Employee2: Motherfarker.
Pranker: Motherfarker LOLOLOLOLO
Employee2: Farking stupid. LALALALALALA
Pranker: LOO LOO. Do it with me, motherfarker. [phone call ends]
Pranker: [laughing] What the fark! [mumbling and laughing]
[phone ringing]
Employee: Evening [censored] May I help you?
Pranker: Hello, Pinky. How are you doing?
Employee: Hello?
Pranker: Hello. I don't know what happened before, I believe we got off on the wrong foot.
Pranker: But I wanting to know what you can do about food! Ther guy not nice.
Pranker: You are very nice lady, right?
Employee: Uhm, I cannot tell you sir because that's my boss!
Pranker: No but he is- he is- don't worry about him!
Pranker: He's stupid man. Leave him out right?
Employee: [fake laughing]
Pranker: He don't want to help restaurant right? I am customer, customer is always right.
Employee: Uhm... I cannot decide anything sir, because he is the boss... I cannot-
Pranker: But- You know he said bad things about you right?
Pranker: I don't know if you hear it but he say Pinky is not good. But I think you're good.
Pranker: So I wanting to give second chance and maybe have relationships.
Employee: Uhm, I'm not helping sorry- I'm not sure about that because you know I work here... You know?
Pranker: But he told me he's going to put "Pinky in my ass".
Pranker: I don't know if he's talking crap about you or what...
Employee: Uhm, I don't care about that either because I'm just worker.
Pranker: Okay, can I talk to boss man? What is his name right?
Employee: John.
Pranker: Okay, what is his real name come on now right? Not John.
Employee: I cannot give you his real name.
Pranker: But I know and you know he's not John right?
Pranker: I wanting real first name right? Like Patel Rakesh.
Pranker: Real name right? Not Bobby or whatever.
Employee: I cannot give you sir.
Pranker: Okay, only first name right? I only asking for first name right?
Pranker: Not asking for his whole Social Security Number right?
Employee: Sorry I- I cannot give you sir.
Pranker: Okay, but he gave me your name why is that fair?
Employee: Because he's the owner.
Pranker: Okay so, owner can give your name but you cannot do reciprimacating?
Employee: I am the server sir.
Pranker: Okay... Let- okay- Let me talk to quote-unquote John right?
Employee: Fine!
Pranker: Okay. There we go. I convince you right? That's good.
Employee: Okay sir?
Pranker: Okay, where is John right?
Employee: He's not here right now, sir.
Pranker: But- W-where is he? When can I call back?
Employee: Uhm...
Pranker: Okay, Pinky, don't make a bull crap with me, right?
Pranker: Come on now right?
Employee: I'M- I DON'T CARE. IF YOU CALL I HANG YOU UP THAT'S IT!
Pranker: No-
Employee: I'M GONNA CALL 911 FOR YOU.
Pranker: Don't do that! That is not g-
Employee: That's it!
Pranker: What is emergency? The food tastes so bad you have to call the police? Hello?
Pranker: [laughing]
[phone ringing]
Employee2: [censored] May I help you?
Pranker: Hello. I believe we got off on the wrong foot. I wanting to extend my apologies and tell you...
Pranker: FARK TO YOU RIGHT NOW.
Employee2: I know. I fark you too okay? I know.
Pranker: Okay, but I am coming right now do you want me to get hotel or what are you wanting to do?
Employee2: Okay, come to- come to here- come to here-
Pranker: Are you goi- are you going to hit it from the back because you like it like that?
Employee2: Yes, you-you like it then I can hit it for you. You got the HOLLISTER here you know?
Employee2: You know the HOLLISTER?
Employee2: You know the Hollister?
Pranker: I know it!
Employee2: Then you-you are a**hole that's why.
Pranker: Okay? Do you want me uh, are you going to put uh...
Pranker: ... eh you can do me from the back and I can put my PINKY in your buttocks.
Pranker: What do you think?
Employee2: Eh, okay, then you can come.
Pranker: You want me to tickle the nut sack?
Employee2: Motherfarker why you call and bother?
Pranker: Mother fark to you and your face-
Employee2: Okay! Let-let-
Pranker: Mother farker locker clucker kuckar. What?
Employee2: [Mumbling something about the number]
Pranker: I DON'T LIKE TO DO TOO MUCH EXPLAINING BUT THE FOOD'S SO CRAPPY I'M COMPLAINING
Pranker: Just so you know right now I am bobbling my head as I sing the song.
Pranker: Helloooooo? [Phone call ends]
Pranker: Hello?
Pranker [speaking to audience]: [Laughing] I wonder if he liked my singing or not...