Insane Hillbilly Wants To Mate His Bull - Prank Call

Best quotes: 

• “YEAH, I'M A BILL HILLY!”
• “OH, GOLLY, I DIDDILY DOO DAH BAH DUN DEE DAW DUN DIDDLE MY DOO DAH NUT-BUSTING, DIDDILY DOO DAH, BANG BANG DIGGITY!”
• “In my country we- we just eat the chicken! We don't uh- HIT IT FROM THE BACK!”

Body of content:

This guy has a bull he's pimping out on Craigslist for breeding, and I think he's pranking ME by the end of the call! While talking to Abdo, he started going on about having “relations” with his barn animals!

This bull mating prank call got SUPER weird really fast! Do you think the guy was serious about everything he said or just joking? Should I call up more “bill hillies”? Let me know in the comments below!

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Transcript

[phone ringing]

Guy: Hello?

Pranker [speaking as Abdo]: Hello, yes! I saw your advertisement on the listing Craig for a- you're-

Pranker: looking for a date for your uh, your bull, right?

Guy: Yes, uh huh.

Pranker: Yes, okay! So I want to, you know, talk about this, and uh, you know, maybe we can have an AGREEMENT!

Guy: Yes.

Pranker: Uh, ho- how big is your BULL?

Guy: He's about 700 pounds. He's ready to go! He's bred to breed! Oh-

Pranker: Ca- can I bring her with me and just watch them do it? Or no?

Guy: Uh, bring a female with you?

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, I'm a little bit new to this! We just got- we just start our FARM HERE! And I get like uh-

Pranker: three uh, cow here and I want to, you know, like, get in to the REPRODUCTION!

Guy: Yeah.

Pranker: Eh- but I want to make sure he's gonna be like gentle, right? I don't want to him to treat her LIKE A BITCH!

Guy: He'd be real gentle with them! [sheep sound] I SHOWED HIM HOW TO DO IT, real gentle [sheep sound].

Pranker: OK, alright great! I'm- I'm- I'm sitting here- we- here with her right now! [sheep sound], I'm getting her-

Pranker: EXCITED, ah, WE CAN DO THAT! So, what is your fee for that?

Guy: [sheep sound] My fee?

Pranker: Yeah. [sheep sound]

Guy: Uh, to breed them myself or let the bull breed it? [sheep sound continues]

Pranker: Sorry, can- can you speak up a little bit?

Guy: To let the bull breed? [loud sheep sound] You want me to breed the cow? Or do you want the bull to- or the bull to breed the cow?

Pranker: No, I want to- you can do it if you can!

Guy: Yeah, I can do it! I mean, just back up to the fence? And I'll take care of that.

Pranker: Eh, I do- I canno- ca- can you speak up a little bit?

Guy: Have you get- get your cow to back up to the fence and I can take care of that.

Pranker: Oh okay. Alright! Okay, excellent! [speaking in the background] STOP IT! I TRY TO TALK ON THE PHONE! [sheep sound continues] BE QUIET! [sheep sound stops]

Guy: Unless you'd rather have the bull to do it now, but, I CAN DO IT MYSELF! Or the bull can do it, either way.

Pranker: Okay but, when you say you can do it yourself, what do you mean exactly?

Guy: I just- we could- I just back the cow up to the fence there and GRAB A HOLD OF HER AND GET WITH IT!

Pranker: WA- WEH- WAIT. You- you want to get with the cow?

Guy: YEAH!

Pranker: Weh- eh- what- what- sorry I am little bit confused, so- so you're gonna pay me, right? So what-

Guy: You want me to pay you?

Pranker: Yeah! I mean you- if you want to HIT IT FROM THE BACK, I- I- it's not gonna be FREE, what do you think this is?

Guy: Well I bleh- IS SHE A VIRGIN?

Pranker: Uh, it's her first time, yeah!

Guy: YEAH! I don't- yeah I'd like to talk to her too.

Pranker: Ok, you- do you want to he- you want-

Guy: I'D LIKE TO TALK DIRTY TO HER.

Pranker: Okay! We can do that, no problem! Uh, and uh- what is the price, you can pay it?

Guy: Uh, what you think, about twenty bucks?

Pranker: Uh no! I will do it for like a- ONE HUNDRED FOR HALF AN HOUR.

Guy: DAMN! I'D HAVE TO TRY THAT P***Y OUT! BEFORE I PAY THAT MUCH!

Pranker: No but a- you can't take it for like a TEST DRIVE FIRST, you're gonna- I'm telling you! This is like the best!

Pranker: A1! And then when I- when I end up KILLING HER, I will give you like, UH TENDER LOIN or something!

Guy: Damn it man! That sounds like a heck of a deal there!

Pranker: Ok, ah- are you like a BILL HILLY?

Guy: A Bill Hilly?

Pranker: Yeah.

Guy: YEAH, I'M A BILL HILLY!

Pranker: Yeah, I like that! You know, I've never- I've never met in my life someb- eh- A BILL HILLY in person-

Pranker: I've been so EXCITE!

Guy: Damn it man!

Pranker: I used to watch- I used to watch ONE GUY on the YouTube! He used to uh- A BILL HILLY GUY! He uh- he'd be like-

Pranker [speaking as Billy]: HELLO! I DUN DIDDLY DOO wanna tell y’all something! [speaking as Abdo]: He would-

Pranker: MAKE ME LAUGH A LOT!

Guy: BUH, HECK YEAH.

Pranker: Okay.

Guy: The way you do it is uh, when you getting that goat! You back up to the ELECTRIC FENCE!

Guy: About time you bust that nut GRAB ON THE FENCE!

Pranker: Ok?

Guy: GRIND THAT COW, THAT A- OH, CRAP!

Pranker [speaking as Billy]: Well I-

Guy: Uh.

Pranker: OH, GOLLY, I DIDDILY DOO DAH BAH DUN DEE DAW DUN DIDDLE MY DOO DAH NUT-BUSTING, DIDDILY DOO DAH, BANG BANG DIGGITY!

Guy: Well- you have to smoke a CIGAR AFTER THAT!

Pranker: Oh, [speaking as Abdo]: YES! I be- I- I- I think you're right! So that is the guy, I used to watch him! I used to like-

Pranker: IMITATE, try to be like him the BILL HILLY GUY!

Guy: DAMN IT MAN!

Pranker: Yeah, Yeah, okay an-

Guy: I- I DO MY CHICKEN SOMETIMES!

Pranker: WAIT WHAT?

Guy: MY CHICKEN!

Pranker: Wait, wait, wait, wait, ho- ho- wait you- you fark the chicken?

Guy: YEAH!

Pranker: WHAT!?

Guy: Yeah damn it, you never heard of that?

Pranker: Uh pft- in my country we- we just eat the chicken! We don't uh- HIT IT FROM THE BACK!

Guy: DAMN!

Pranker: But why-

Guy: No, you FARK IT FOR A WHILE THEN YOU EAT IT LATER!

Pranker: BUT WHY? Why, does it TENDERIZE IT OR SOMETHING?

Guy: Crap that, that's pretty damn good there!

Pranker: Oh.

Guy: Oh yeah.

Pranker: Oh, oh.

Guy: DAMN.

Pranker: But, you're not like a FAITHFUL GUY! You're- you're sleeping around! You hit it-

Pranker: you're with the GOAT, you're with the COW, you're with the CHICKEN! You're with like eh-

Guy: YEAH!

Pranker: man, you Bill Hillies ARE CRAZY HUH?

Guy: Heck yeah!

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, BILL HILLY-

Guy: The worse the steak the better!

Pranker: Yeah, #BILLHILLY4LIFE uh, and uh-

Guy: Mhm.

Pranker: and de- does your family know you- YOU DO THIS STUFF? OR NO?

Guy: [sighs] Well, I don't let them- I don't let them see me you know, I sort of keep that to myself!

Pranker: Oh, okay. So like a- you'll have like a LITTLE SNACK on the side! MIDNIGHT, you're feeling a little bit-

Pranker: frisky, you get up!

Guy: Yeah!

Pranker: You go, oh it's time for-

Guy: Yeah!

Pranker: uh, for, you know for YOU KNOW WHAT? One thing leads to another! AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT! [sheep sound]

Guy: MHM! [sheep sound] and I- I sneak up into the barn and GET ME SOME EVERY NOW AND THEN YOU KNOW.

Pranker: Yeah, yeah. [sheep sound continues]

Guy: And then- man's gotta do what a man's gotta do! You know?

Pranker: YOU CRAZY GUY.

Guy: HECK YEAH!

Pranker: Crazy Bill Hillies! So how come you don't let the bull JUST MOUNT YOU?

Guy: No, heck, I can't handle that! I just can't handle that buh di uh- uh- AH NO!

Pranker: You won't know until YOU TRY IT! You know, maybe it will be like a- A WHOLE NEW WORLD, A DAZZLING PLACE!

Guy: UH!

Pranker: YOU'VE NEVER SEEN!

Guy: HEY, that was good, I might like it! That's why I ain't gonna try it!

Pranker: Oh okay! BUT IT'S OKAY! Don't-

Guy: HA!

Pranker: [giggles]

Pranker: You ar- [giggles], CRAZY BILL HILLY! [giggles]

Guy: [giggles] CRAZY BILL HILLY! ALRIGHT! I'M A CRAZY BILL HILLY!

Pranker: Crazy BILL HILLY! Crazy Bill Hilly!

Guy: Yeah, I might like that a little- OH CRAP!

Pranker: YEE-HAW RIGHT? [giggles]

Guy: [Bill Hilly mumble]

Pranker: Can- can- can you do me a FAVOR? You know the Bill Hilly guy! I hear him on the-

Pranker: THE INTERNET on- on the to- uh, THE YOUTUBE! He always does like a DIDDILY-

Pranker: DOO DIDDILY DUN DIDDILY! Can you do one for me too?

Guy: Uhm, no, I can't do all that!

Pranker: But you're a BILL HILLY!

Guy: Get confused!

Pranker: But you're a Bill Hilly like him! Like, [speaking as Billy] I DUN DIDDILY DOO DAW DUN-

Pranker: DIDDLE MY DOO DAW DUN DUN DIDDILY! [speaking as Abdo] And he does like that!

Guy: I can't do all that though! See that- that.

Pranker: OH MAN.

Guy: Y’all have one of them education there!

Pranker: But you- just- t- try for me please! TRY FOR ME PLEASE!

Guy: ARGH, you gotta go to- you gotta go to college to be able to do all that!

Pranker: Geh- eh- COLLEGE? Why?

Guy: To be able to do all that, DIBBITY DOOBILY DOOBITAH DOOWAH AHYEH-

Pranker: Wait so you- you- you- you- you just- you- you just- you- YOU JUST- YOU JUST-

Guy: I’m not that educated.

Pranker: Yo man! You almost got it! You- you- you ha- you're definitely COLLEGE EDUCATED CLEARLY MAN. You just had it! ALMOST!

Guy: ARGH, and maybe- maybe- maybe I'll go back to school an- an- and learn- LEARN- LEARN- LEARN IT!

Pranker: Yeah see but, your- YOUR STUTTER maybe seems like, you're a little bit STUPID. You're right!

Pranker: Ok, uh, so eh- eh- we can do it, I will teach you! Uh, it's just like a [speaking as Billy]: DUN DIDDLE DUN-

Pranker: DOO DAW BAH DUN DUN DIDDILY! [speaking as Abdo] TRY IT WITH ME!

Guy: DIB- DIB- DOBBA DOBBA DOOBA DOOBA!

Pranker: OH!

Guy: How's that?

Pranker: OH ALRIGHT! YOU'RE KILLING IT MAN!

Guy: That works.

Pranker: Yeah.

Guy: That works! DAMN IT MAN.

Pranker: That's the sound, you have to make it! When- the bull is uh, HITTING IT FROM THE BACK.

Guy: OH NO!

Pranker: You- you're a lying guy! You have a SEX WITH THE ANIMAL! You're like- I- maybe you're not-

Pranker: THE BEST INFLUENCE ON ME, maybe I should find like another CLEAN CUT GUY who's a good friend.

Guy: NO! You just want that much, you just want- another guy with a BIGGER D**K HUH?

Pranker: EH- HOL- [speaking in the background] HEY! [speaking as Billy]: HELLO!

Guy: Hello?

Pranker: Weh- weh- what are you saying right now?

Guy: WHO THIS?

Pranker: Wa- my name's BILLY.

Guy: WHO?

Pranker: Hu- hu- WHO'S THIS?

Guy: WHO THIS?

Pranker: My name's Billy!

Guy: BILLY?

Pranker: Are you trying to MOCK ME RIGHT NOW?

Guy: NO BROTHER! I WOULDN'T DO THAT!

Pranker: DON'T MAKE ME POP through the GOSH-DARN TELEPHONE AND BEAT YOU UP! RIGHT NOW.

Guy: I wouldn't hurt you FEELINGS THERE BILLY!

Pranker: WOAH!

Guy: You ain't one of them ben- You- you ain't one of them BEND OVER BILLIES ARE YOU?

Pranker: EXCUSE ME?

Guy: BEND OVER BULLDOZER BAMA.

Pranker: Boy, I'mma come over there AND WHOOP YOUR ASS.

Guy: DAMN IT MAN! Y’all behave! I- I'll holla at y’all later! Hiddow, this is HillBilly SIGNING OFF BYE, BYE!

Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: WAIT DAWG! Wait you- HANGING UP NOW? What made you change YOUR MIND DAWG? I thought you were gonna CHILL THE WHOLE TIME!

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker: [laughing] [speaking to audience]: Finally, finally, he farking hangs up.