Looking For A Getaway Driver? Hilarious Robbery Prank Call

Best quotes: 

• “That's why I'm trying to steal some stuff, so I can have a Merry ass Christmas, you know I'm saying?”
• “That make ASS OUT OF YOU AND ME, RIGHT?”
• “Come on now, no, we gonna pamper you real good, my boy gives real good shoulder massages.”

Body of content:

In this robbery prank I hit up a driver for hire as Tyrone and Rakesh to ask about what he'd charge to be my getaway driver. Sadly, he was not too excited to oblige! When he realized he would be driving around a bunch of thieves, he immediately got freaked out and threatened to call the cops!

This is a rare instance where I prank called someone from Craigslist and they actually responded in a reasonable way! Do you think he was freaked out about picking up people after this? Should I call up more Craigslist driver ads? Tell me what you think in the comments below.

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Transcript

[phone ringing]

Guy: Hello, I'm here.

Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Yeah, I saw your advertisement on the uh Craigslist about the you-, you a driver right?

Guy: Yeah.

Pranker: OKAY, COOL, COOL, so yeah, I was hoping that you know, you could pick me up and a few of my-

Pranker: boys uh, you kind of, we can kind of go cruise around-

Guy: And where you all wanna go tonight?

Pranker: uh, a co-, a couple a day HOUSES, you know, couple businesses that kind of thing, we trying to go at like-

Pranker: two or three A.M.

Guy: 3 o'clock in the morning?

Pranker: Uh, yeah, you can pick us up at one, you know, we can kind of like just start making our rounds uh-

Pranker: how much trunk space you got?

Guy: I don't have much-, the back is not really available.

Pranker: Alright! I got you. I think we could use our laps it won't be no issue like that, you know? It's not-

Pranker: gonna be too much MASS, it's just gonna be, you know, just a co-, a couple bags and stuff like that-

Pranker: so I think we'll be good. Uh, Wh-, wh-, how much you charge for that?

Guy: well I-, I need to know the-, how many hours are you wanting me for?

Pranker: Uh, I would say like, uh-, like one, w-, wu-, ONE to one and a half hours.

Guy: Fine, then probably around $50.

Pranker: Are you also interested? Because you know, I wanna get you in on it too, ar-, are you interested-

Pranker: in working on a commission basis? Me and my boys, can you 25 percent of our findings.

Guy: 25 percent? Of your findings?! I'm not sure what you mean by that.

Pranker: Well we're gonna rob the places, you know what I'm saying? We gonna steal some stuff, we'll give you 25-

Pranker: percent like-, in layman's terms. I'm trying to be real straight forward, right?

Guy: You are going to do ROBBERIES? And you want, a-, and-, and you calling me?

Pranker: Uh, yeah, BUT I mean, you-, you just seem like a, like a great getaway driver, so I was just hitting-

Pranker: you up to see like, you know, if we could work something out.

Guy: I'll tell you what, why don't you have a Merry Christmas.

Praner: Uh, no I-, I will definitely-, I've-, that's why I'm trying to steal some stuff, so I can have a Merry ass Christmas, you know I'm saying?

Pranker: So help a brother out, and you know, we can both have Merry Christmases. You know what I'm saying?

Guy: Do I need to call the police on you now?

Pranker: No! Not at all, I watching pitching a idea to you, you know what I'm saying? Right, like I'm trying to-

Pranker: I'm trying to get some stuff for my son little Jabari, you know what I'm saying? He wants some new-

Pranker: uh, he want some NEW ELECTRONICS.

Guy: Alright, BYE. [hang up]

Pranker: [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy: Hello?

Pranker: Hey yo, what's up? I think we got disconnected, I don't know what happened, I was just talking to you a second ago.

Guy: YEAH, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN DOING ANYTH-, ANYTHING ILLEGAL.

Pranker: 35%, I'll give you thirty five percent, how's-, how about that?

Guy: I DON'T WANT ANY PERCENTAGE.

Pranker: ALRIGHT, YOU A GOOD NEGOTIATOR, four-

Guy: DON'T CALL ME AGAIN, YOU CALL ME AGAIN, I'M A CALL THE POLICE.

Pranker: LOO-, come on dawg-

Guy: AND EXPLAIN TO THEM WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO-

Pranker: DAWG-

Guy: WANT ME TO DO.

Pranker: DAWG, don't you remember high school? Don't you hear about snitches get stitches, that's farked up.

Pranker: Why-, why you gonna tell on me like that, that's not nice, you know what I'm saying?

Pranker: That's just real rude. I'm trying to-, man I'm trying-

Guy: You-, what's rude is you calling me-, being, get convicted of a felon.

Pranker: NO, I'm trying-

Guy: THAT'S WHAT'S RUDE.

Pranker: I'm trying to have a MERY ASS MOTHERFARKING CHRISTMAS, DAWG, like why don't-

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker: you get- [laughing] [speaking to audience]: He hung up.

[phone ringing]

Guy: Hello?

Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Yeah, hello, I'm calling about advertisement on Craigslist. I was wondering-

Pranker: uh, how much you charge it for like one hour uh, riding service?

Guy: Okay, and where do you wanna go?

Pranker: Uh yeah, we will drive around uh, maybe, stop by airport to do-, drop off friend and-

Pranker: just couple other locations that we will give you address.

Guy: Yeah, uhm, what's the purpose of the trip?

Pranker: You know, we have to just pick up a couple items, you know, we have to, uh, we're moving-

Pranker: to a different area, so we have to go pick it.

Guy: And what items will you be picking up?

Pranker: Yeah, but uh, I'm a little bit, you know, embarrassed, this is personal question, right?

Pranker: But yeah, like, clothes, things like that.

Guy: Well, I wanna make sure there's room in my vehicle.

Pranker: Oh yeah, but it won't take too much space like, you know like, on my lap or something like that, okay, no problem?

Guy: No, it's-, no, I just got a call from somebody that wanted me to do something against the law-

Guy: and you sound like the same thing.

Pranker: WHAT?! What are you talking about? I-, I-, what-, how can you make a judgmenting like that? I just want to get my clothes.

Guy: THE OTHER GUY TOLD ME THAT THEY GONNA GO DO ARMED ROBBERIES, THEY WANT ME TO BE THEIR DRIVER.

Pranker: Yeah, I told-

Guy: YOU SOUND LIKE THE SAME THING.

Pranker: I don't know what kind of people you're getting involved with but I don't want a criminal to be driving me-

Pranker: what kind of driving are you doing?

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker: [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy: Hello?

Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: Yeah, hello, I-, I think we got on the wrong foot, I don't know what you're saying-

Pranker: to me, but you know, it's not true.

Guy: I JUST GOT A PHONE CALL FROM SOMEBODY ELSE, THEY ASKED THE SAME THING, THEY CAN PUT THE STUFF-

Guy: ON THE LAP, THE SAME WORDS YOU'RE USING, I DON'T WANNA BE INVOLVED.

Pranker: BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING I-, I WAS JUST BEING NICE, right? I was saying, you know you don't-

Pranker: have to bother yourself to get up and put in the trunk, I can just put on my lap, I as trying to-

Pranker: BE NICE TO YOU, right? BUT NOW YOU ARE-, YOU ARE MAKING A-, YOU ARE MAKING ASSUMPTION, RIGHT?

Pranker: I-, that make ASS OUT OF, YOU AND ME, RIGHT?

Guy: Okay, where do you want to go in [censored], and where and where do you want to go to?

Pranker: Okay, so yeah, we just want to go, you know I will take from apartment A to apartment B and then-

Pranker: maybe take my friend to the airport if we have enough time in our time slot.

Guy: And how much luggage is your friend gonna have?

Pranker: Maybe like one carry-on basket.

Guy: So are you ju-, he just got one suitcase?

Pranker: Right, right.

Guy: Alright well, call me in the morning, we'll see what happens.

Pranker: Yeah but, but what is the cost, right? Like, do you just want to just work on percentage basis?

Guy: I don't know what you mean by percentage.

Pranker: Like, you know, when we go to the apartment and steal the things, you know we will, give you-

Pranker: you know, half of it.

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker: [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy: Hello?

Pranker [speaking as Russell]: Oh yeah, hi, I was just calling regarding uh, the ride service.

Guy: Okay, when you wanna go?

Pranker: Uh, we're thinking right now early Saturday morning-

Guy: You know what, I'm not interested.

Pranker: or just-, uh-

Guy: I'm not available.

Pranker: uh, I'm-, what-, is there something wrong? Or, I'm kind of confused?

Guy: I need to know where you gonna start from, and where you're gonna go to.

Pranker: Yeah, completely understood it's 50 miles out or so, it's and I have to-

Pranker: just get the exact address uh, I don't have it handy.

Guy: There you go.

Pranker: So, you-

Guy: [Hang up]

00:05:15 --> 00:05:24

Pranker: [laughing] [speaking to audience]: Dude, I literally, anybody that calls him today for a ride, they're not getting the ride, [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy: Hello?

Pranker [speaking as Tyrone]: Uh yeah, how you doing there sir?

Guy: Yeah, you need a ride, for 30 minutes, for 90 minutes.

Pranker: Uh yeah, no I was just calling to see if like you had a chance to cool off yet, and like you know-

Pranker: think about my proposition, and you know, like-, you know, so we can talk about it.

Guy: No, I'm not interested.

Pranker: Okay, like, because I-, I-, we can go higher, I ain't against negotiating, you know what I'm saying?

Pranker: Like, I'm a reasonable dude.

Guy: I-, I-, I TOLD YOU I'M NOT INTERESTED.

Pranker: SIXTY PERCENT, I've never said that before in my life to somebody over fifty percent but, sixty percent.

Pranker: In your pocket homeboy, just for you BOO BOO.

Guy: Right, and I mean I-, I might not even be LIVE THROUGH IT.

Pranker: No, no, come on now no, you we-, we gonna pamper you real good, my boy gives real good shoulder massages.

Pranker: So while you driving, he can get real deep in there you'll feel so relaxed too.

Guy: No, you have a good night.

Pranker: NO, eh-, li-, listen, listen, listen-

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker: I'm sorry, [laughing].