Category: Prank calls
Format: Subtitled
Characters: Rakesh, Russell
Prank Victim: Tinder user
Rage Level: Mellow
Best quotes:
- “Is- is this what you did to her man? The bushing around the beating when she wants to hang out?”
- “I know man eh- instead of bushing around the beating you know, you could focus elsewhere because he- her bushing needs a good beating, you know what I'm saying?”
- “Excuse my language he said ‘You don't want another taste of- of Rada's sweet poon pie?’”
Body of content:
In this Tinder date prank call, I called up a guy who recently went on a date with a chubby Indian girl he met through the app and then “ghosted” because he wasn’t into her. I pretended to be her brother, Rakesh, and attempted to convince him to give her another chance! He was trying SO hard to be nice through this whole prank. Should more Ownage characters pull some Tinder-related pranks? Let me know in the comments below!
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Transcript
Pranker [speaking to audience]: This guy went on a date with a chubby Indian girl that he met on Tinder, which is the popular dating app.
Pranker: He never called her back. I called him up as Rakesh, the girls brother and try to convince him to give my sister a second chance.
[phone ringing]
Guy: Hi, Darren [censored].
Pranker [Speaking as Rakesh]: Uh- yeah he- hello Darren how are you doing?
Guy: Good, how are you?
Pranker: I'm good man. Do you remember me uh, Rakesh? You took my sister out on a date?
Pranker: You- you met her on the Tinder, right?
Guy: Uh- may- I-
Pranker: She- she's kind of like the- the slightly bigger woman, muffin top maybe... Like just slightly larger, right?
Guy: Uhm, maybe I- think so a while ago?
Pranker: Yeah, [stuttering] a little while ago right, it's been a little while, yeah man.
Guy: [stuttering] what- what's the call about now?
Pranker: Yeah, NO-NO I just- I know it's a little bit strange, I just wanted to reach out, man.
Pranker: Honestly, ever since Rada went on that one date with you she hasn't been stopping talking about you man and like-
Guy: Really?
Pranker: she's been really bummed out about not hearing from you, that kind of thing, you know so...
Pranker: I just wanted to see you know, if you can give you know, second chance right?
Guy: So I mean, you know that- that was some time ago. What did she say?
Pranker: She said that you know you were really great, she enjoyed the time with you and sh-she- she-
Pranker: she could really see herself building a life with you, right?
Guy: Well I mean that- that's a lot to- to- to come to a conclusion at- after one date.
Pranker: Yeah man, I understand you know, she said she had a really good time and that you know, you have a good job right?
Guy: Uhm-
Pranker: You took her to a really nice place, she felt like a queen for the evening right? But it was- it was really short lived...
Pranker: because after that, you know, poof! You know, you ghost out of the life right?
Guy: It's just one of those things where it's just a lot of stuff kind of happened and you know the calendar fills up rather quickly there and...
Guy: and- you know th- e- I just got sidetracked with- with life I guess.
Pranker: Yeah no- I get it man, you know, stuff happens right? She was just telling me...
Pranker: ...Yeah you never answered her phone calls and that stuff and you know between you and I, you know she was crying herself to sleep at night for like a month right?
Pranker: Just waiting for a call back.
Guy: Well- well she never called me actually, like sh- it's not as if she was calling me and I wasn't answering there- there- THERE WAS NO CALLS.
Pranker: Oh really? Because she told me she called all the time!
Guy: Uhm, literally- yeah-
Pranker: She said she call maybe 4,5,6 times right? And nobody answers.
Guy: We went out that one evening and I think we texted a couple times after that and then LITERALLY no communication at all.
Guy: Since and that was months ago. Alright?
Pranker: Got-
Guy: There was no calls.
Pranker: Yeah, have you ever been with an indian woman before? Do you know how they operate?
Guy: [stuttering] Not really! Uhm...
Pranker: Yeah, no, it's just like she thought you know like that, y- th-the way you treated her right?
Pranker: You took her for wining and dining and usually like the next after that you know, you- you take the next step and then you know...
Pranker: It's just kind of stopped.
Guy: Didn't know that that was an implication there, uh, you know I-I viewed that evening as an opportunity to...
Guy: ... to get to know her and uh, for her to get to know me a- and that was exactly what we spent a few hours doing and-and that was it.
Pranker: I know but were you hoping to to kind of like, BUST SOME NUTS or do something with her or take the next step or anything like that? Or just-
Pranker: Do you just wanted to be friends, right?
Guy: Well I mean, [stuttering] you really asking me this about your- your SISTER, I mean uh-
Pranker: I know man, but look I just want to give her some closure right. So we can just stop with the excuses, right...
Pranker: Did you not call back because she's kind of a little bit on the bigger side?
Guy: NO, I mean, I didn't call her back because I- you know, life happens sometimes and I- I got sidetracked with- with...
Guy: ... my....ACTIVITIES that I kind of engage in there and- and that was it! I mean it wasn't anything beyond that.
Pranker: I get it man, well thank you I just wanted to let you know like- that since then you know she's been making working out...
Pranker: ... and that kind of thing trying to get her health in order so she's lost I think 6 and a half pounds since then right?
Pranker: So she's still working on it. I would love to just fly her out to New York, wherever and you guys can have one more date.
Pranker: What do you think about that?
Guy: [stuttering] well, I mean [stuttering] You don't have to-to-to spend money like that. I-I- don't live in New York.
Guy: I do live in D.C. , I am on vacation right now actually but I mean uh, you know I wish her the best.
Pranker: No, no for sure man, I just we- we just need to find her a good man, right?
Pranker: So like honestly, I know you're on vacation, it's good time, I can fly her out to-to-to be there tomorrow morning.
Pranker: What do you think about that?
Guy: [stuttering] I can't do that, I'm on vacation I have a full agenda, I can't accommodate it in my schedule.
Pranker: Well when do you come back home?
Guy: I- i-it's gonna be some time here and as soon as I come back it's-it's gonna be a whirlwind because...
Guy: ... I've gotta be away from work obviously for a couple of weeks here and so my days are gonna be pretty full there...
Pranker: Is- is this what you did to her man? The bushing around the beating when she wants to hang out?
Pranker: I'm getting kind of weird vibes man, do- is something wrong man? Like- I'm trying to coordinate-
Guy: No, there's- there's- THERE'S nothing wrong, there was no beating around the bush.
Guy: We went out ONCE on one date, that lasted a few hours and that was it.
Guy: There was no context to read into beyond that. There was just that one evening.
Pranker: But you to- you to- You told her you- you loved her man! You can't tell somebody something like-
Guy: I didn't say that. I definitely did not say that to her. I did not say that to her.
Guy: It was a-
Pranker: [stuttering] She- she told me-
Guy: It was a standard DC first date.
Pranker: I know man eh- instead of bushing around the beating you know, you could focus elsewhere...
Guy: So yeah.
Pranker: ... because he- her bushing needs a good beating, you know what I'm saying?
Pranker: She's been lonely about that.
Guy: [stuttering] Ok, I wasn't aware of that, but I mean, that uh- wasn't something that-
Guy: You know, h-happened at that point in time.
Pranker: Yeah, no, no, I appreciate it man, th- just last thing uh- she told me you work in IT and you know...
Pranker: I wa- just one last thing I-I can- I can you know, offer you a job at- at- in India...
Pranker: ... at my technical company if you want it.
Guy: Uhm, I do work in IT, I also work in uh, industries as well, I actually run 2 departments at this point in time...
Guy: Uhm, I am running out of time though, I'm with guests here in New York...
Pranker: You tell me! I will work around your schedule right? Just you pick the time and I will...
Pranker: I will make a rev-
Guy: I'm good, I have to go, I-I-I have to go, I'm out of time...
Pranker: She-she needs this from you man, I'm telling you!
Guy: I thank you, goodbye.
Pranker: She needs a good beating. Ah-
Pranker: [laughing] HER BUSHING NEEDS A GOOD BEATING! [laughing]
Pranker [speaking to audience]: Three days later I called back with a new number...
[phone ringing]
Guy: Hi, Darren [censored].
Pranker: Uh, yeah, hi Darren uh, what's up man? W-what is your email address?
Guy: Who am I speaking with?
Pranker: It's Rakesh!
Guy: [sigh] [stuttering] Rakesh, who?
Pranker: No, I remember I- talk to you the other day about Rada. Remember?
Guy: Yeah, I thought we concluded that conversation my friend, look, uhm...
Pranker: Ye- no- no-no-
Guy: ... we're done talking about this issue. Okay?
Pranker: No, no, but I guy- I bought you a gift voucher to the Hamilton for 200$..
Pranker: I was gonna email it to you, so that maybe you, when you come back to the district...
Pranker: ... you can take Rada out for one follow up date?
Guy: I- I don't need any gift certificates I don't need anything, still this... [stuttering]
Guy: We need to just put a pin in this.
Pranker: No, no, I no-
Pranker: I've already got you a dinner for two so i- it's waiting for you!
Pranker: Next Thursday right? So y- So they're gonna give you a good table like I talked to the manager it's all- it's already set.
Guy: Rakesh... I- e- Listen buddy, I appreciate the gesture that is very kind of you...
Guy: I don't know what I'm doing next Thursday, I can't make any commitments at this time, but I thank you for uh...
Guy: ... for reaching out. So you take care now. Alright, I'm gonna have to board my flight in a minute.
Pranker: I- ok, but where- where- where can I send- But where can I send the voucher-
Guy: Goodbye my friend.
Pranker: Where can I send the voucher man? Like... A- ha- ha- ?
Pranker: [laughing] This guy's so creeped out...
Pranker: Five days later I called back with another new number showing on the caller ID.
[phone ringing]
Guy: Hi, Darren [censored].
Pranker: Uh,yeah Darren! Q-quick question man, are you still at apartment 218?
Guy: Who's this?
Pranker: No- It's Rakesh, I-I tried bringing by the voucher but I think you weren't home?
Guy: Look, I don't want the voucher Rakesh... We're done.
Pranker: Uh- n- I'm telling you it's a free meal man! 200$! You guys can wine and dine and it'll- it will be great.
Guy: I- don't-
Guy: I'm not in DC at the moment. I- I- I don't want the voucher, thank you and goodbye.
Pranker: I know but can I drop it under the door, maybe I can- [laughing]
Pranker: Oh man!
Pranker [speaking to audience]: I did some digging and got the number to the leasing office for his apartment building. I called him up with that number showing up on the caller ID...
Pranker: ... so he thinks it's his own front desk calling. Check out what happens next.
[phone ringing]
Guy: Hi, Darren [censored].
Pranker [speaking as Russell]: Yeah, hi, uh- This is Christopher from [censored] apartments, uhm, am I speaking with Darren [censored]?
Guy: Yes.
Pranker: Uhm, we just wanted to give you a quick shout, uhm, I believe we do have your brother in law here...
Pranker: ... at the facility and he said that your wife happen to lose her key? I just wanted to go ahead and confirm that we can let him into your home?
Guy: Definitely not, so- I don't have a brother in law and I'm not married.
Pranker: Oh-
Guy: So- what I think is the gentleman's name Rakesh?
Pranker: Uh- y-yeah it se- it seems to be an Indian gentleman if I'm not mistaken.
Guy: Yes, so that man's stalking me, so we might wanna call the police here.
Guy: I went out with his sister on a date like 4 or 5 months ago.
Guy: One date, that was it, we stopped talking. This man somehow got my phone number, somehow tracked me down to where I live...
Guy: ... and is trying to pay me off to d- literally date his sister. I'm not joking about this at all.
Pranker: S-sorry I'm just trying to follow along here, so uhm, t-this man has been stalking you you're saying?
Guy: I do not know this man, I don't wanna have anything to do with this man uhm...
Pranker: Yeah-
Guy: He is again trying to pay me to date his sister.
Pranker: He- he did uhm, he came here I guess with- with what seems to be a uh- like a marriage certificate and then...
Pranker: ... a-also it looks like he has a gift card or something like that he wanted to drop off.
Pranker: So you have y-you definitely don't wanna authorize a-access to the unit correct?
Guy: Definitely not, a 100% no. I don't- I want that man to disappear and to never speak to me again.
Guy: And I don't know why he thinks that what his behaviour i-is acceptable.
Pranker: Sir- sir- Give me the phone back!
Guy: It's not I-I-I-
Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: LOOK D-D-DARREN! It's me man, like let me just a- I will drop it off real quick!
Guy: STOP CALLING ME, I don't want any gift cards... This is not cool, you are STALKING ME!
Pranker: Oh no, no, bu-
Guy: ... and so-
Pranker: [stuttering] But I'm your brother in law! Right? Like it's what we- do you know...?
Guy: You're not my brother in law, we're not related! I don't know who you are-
Pranker: Sir- eh- uh- sir- I- I'm sorry about that, my- my apologies eh-
Pranker: So, okay, I'm gonna go ahead and- and- and not le- and allow access to the unit h-
Pranker: ... he was just screaming here i-is this woma- he just said [sigh] he said eh-
Pranker: Excuse my language he said "You don't want another taste of- of Rada's sweet poon pie?"
Pranker: I- is Rada this individual he's referring to you being married to? W-
Guy: This is so weird- so Rada is evidently his sister that I went out with ONCE like, 4, 5 months ago...
Guy: ... we never slept together, we never uh- talked after the one date that lasted like 2 hours like 4 months ago.
Guy: ... and I don't know why this man is here and communicating with me.
Pranker: Let me just go ahead and take down one quick note uh- was this a bad time by any chance if you're at work or anything like that...
Guy: I am at work but this is a really weird situation and I don't wanna have anything to do with this man ever again.
Guy: So I mean if we can g-get him away from the apartment.
Pranker: Go- got you-
Guy: He's not allowed- HE SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED IN THAT PLACE!
Pranker [speaking as Rakesh]: YOU TOOK HER VIRGINITY- YOU TOOK HER VIRGINITY AND NOW WANT TO LEAVE?
Pranker [speaking as Russell]: S- s- uh sir he's- he's kind of making a little it of a scene here, he's- don't know- you just heard what he said-
Pranker: Uhm, he- he's claiming that you- you took his- his sister's or bride's virginity and now you wan-
Pranker: ... you wanna break up with her apparently.
Guy: None of those things happened.
Pranker: G- g-
Guy: NONE OF THESE THINGS HAPPENED.
Pranker: Okay, uh, sir, well I just know- I just bef-before I let you go uhm I did wanna just you know, make you aware...
Pranker: That this entire thing and all the calls from this individual from different numbers etc uh...
Pranker: ... was just a prank. A very elaborate one... Set up by your friend Abdul.
Guy: Wait a second... What?
Pranker: [laughing]
Pranker: Okay, number one, I'm very very sorry for- for putting you through that nonsense.
Pranker: I'm not actually calling from- from [censored] apartments, I'm a voice actor and comedian, I do a bunch of different character voices and uh...
Pranker: Put up a bunch of different prank videos. I know you must be thinking "What the heck is all that?"
Pranker: But if you don't mind, aside from ripping into me, can you think out loud what's going through your head right now?
Guy: You guys are the farking best! Holy crap!
Pranker: [laughing]
Guy: Wh- to I- I- just was li- he- he's here, come in...
[maniacal laughter]
Guy: I'm on speaker.
Pranker: Oh wait, he's there right now?
Guy: Right next to me!
Pranker: Oh my god, that's so gold.
Guy: I don't know how you guys managed to let so- How did you even get the [censored] place number?
Pranker: When I called you just now and I was like [as Rakesh]: "Hey man are you still in apartment 218? Can I drop off the gift card"
Pranker [apreaking as Russell]: That's when I was like oh how funny would it be to find out you know, the apartment place's number and call him from there...
Pranker: ... as a concierge saying hey this guy's waiting to come up into your unit, so my buddy and I we're brainstorming like...
Pranker: ... what would be the funniest, like, craziest off the wall thing, so I called the actual leasing office, like the center in Texas...
Pranker: ... had them actually give me the number for the direct line to the leasing office in the building which I assume is the number they call you from when they have an issue...
Pranker: ... or wanna give you a call for something and then changed the caller ID to reflect that number so that when you picked it up, you wouldn't think twice about...
Pranker: ... me being like this guy from the leasing office who's about to let in this farking crazed stalker up to your unit.
Guy: ATTENTION TO DETAIL THAT WENT INTO THIS!
Pranker: [laughing]
Guy: Oh, you guys are [censored] amazing! When you called me last week when I was on vacation, I answered the phone and I was surrounded by family...
Guy: ... and they were laughing their asses off the whole time like- alright, Darren knocked up some Indian chick in DC and...
Pranker: Oh my
Guy: ... gotta just dealing with this now and- and I- I was just like ugh, okay...
Guy: What I- what's next kind of thing. I- I had no concept that this was a prank at any point in time...
Pranker: Oh my god, that's honestly just f- that's hilarious, I wanted to definitely tell you it was a prank now before you actually call the cops...
Pranker: ... or got scared to go home or something like that, just know that th- the stalker is non existent. [laughing]
Guy: We do a lot of pranks and stuff in this office here, but like, nothing to the elaborate like a- just work that went into this, like ...
Guy: Abdul officially wins all competition.
Pranker: [laughing]
Pranker: It doesn't mean you can't try to get him back but like that's awesome!
Pranker: This crap was hysterical. Uhm, well again thank you honestly for being such a great sport you know...
Pranker: As I mentioned I do have a Youtube channel and this is kind of like my speciality so if it's okay with you I'd love to potentially put it up on the Youtube channel...
Pranker: Uhm...
Guy: Yes! Yeah dude! [laughing] Yes, yes, please do that, by all means!
Pranker: Okay, amazing.
Guy: Yeah man, love your stuff man!
Pranker: Nah, thank you bro, I appreciate it man, uhm, thank you so much man, for being a great sport, I'm glad I could put a farking pin in this and not make you...
Pranker: ... think that there's this crazed Indian man, like following you but... Uh [laughing]
Pranker: Good like on the next Tinder date!
Guy: Yeah! Yeah, well thanks man this was really, really, really well done.
Pranker: Alright, take care guys! Take it easy Abdul!
Guys: Thank you! Thanks!
Pranker: Bye.