Clean Up Your Dog Poop! Prank Call Classics

Best quotes: 

• “I need you to just put on your big girl pants now and have an adult conversation with me”
• “Well he’s a man so I don’t think he’d have to put on big girl pants”
• “One individual was saying ‘he blasts his black rap music around in our white community with all that bass’”

Body of content:

I received a prank request from a African American guy who told me his white girlfriend is an “extreme feminist” who is also convinced that their neighbors are racist and trying to start problems. He asked me to pull a dog poop prank call on her, because of recent complaints to community management about their dog, and to tie in some borderline racist remarks to really set her off!

I called as someone from community management and told her that the neighbors complained about her dog pooping on their doorstep, as well as her boyfriend playing loud rap music. She was instantly offended and totally lost her mind! 

What was your favorite part of this prank call? Should I call more dog owners about their pets misbehaving? Tell me in the comments below!

 

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Transcript

Pranker: So this black guy lives with his white girlfriend and supposedly has  racist neighbors.

Pranker: They`ve had issues in the past with violations from their buildings management team.

Pranker: He asked me to call his girlfriend about some recent complaints about their dog.

Pranker: He also stressed that I should make some borderline racist comments

Pranker: to really get a rise out of her. Enjoy.

Boyfriend: ...but she is an extreme feminist, man.

Pranker: Oh, okay.

Boyfriend: So, making any type of little sexist comment or whatever, that really get her yo.

Pranker: But- [laughing]

Boyfriend: [laughing]

Pranker: Alright well I`ll- I`m gonna call her in like 2 minutes.

Pranker: So I`ll call her up.

Boyfriend: Alright, 2 minutes, bet.

[phone calling sound]

Girlfriend: Hello?

Pranker: Uh, yeah, hi. May I please speak with Bevan [censured] please?

Girlfriend: This is her.

Pranker: Excellent. My name is Russell, I`m calling with the [censured] condominiums.

Pranker: I was actually required to give you a call by my supervisor,

Pranker: regarding some recent complaints we`ve been receiving regarding

Pranker: your Shiba Inu dog. At this point we`ve left a couple notices on your door

Pranker: but essentially, your dog has been seen defecating in the common areas,

Pranker: you know, on the sidewalks, apparently one resident stated that the dog was

Pranker: defecating right in front of their doorstep.

Pranker: And of course was not cleaned up.

Girlfriend: What?

Pranker: So, you know, it`s definitely causing some problems for us right now,

Pranker: and we can only ignore this for so long, I wanted to kinda just give you a call...

Pranker: Figure out what`s going on and see what we can do to get to the bottom of this.

Girlfriend: Mhm. And what was your name?

Pranker: Russell.

Girlfriend: Can I have my boyfriend call you back, Russell?

Pranker: Uh, is-is your boyfriend the African-American gentleman?

Girlfriend: Yes.

Pranker: Yes, okay, well it was a lot of the complaints were directed towards him specifically, so-

Girlfriend: Because he`s black?

Pranker: Um-

Girlfriend: Because neighbors are racist and I can tell you he`s trained that dog really well

Girlfriend: and it does not crap on anyone’s doorstep. 

Girlfriend: I can swear up and down that that`s the case.

Pranker: You know we are in a very, you know, upper-class neighborhood

Pranker: and you know, people just might be a little upset when they see

Pranker: you know the dog defecating in front of their doorstep.

Pranker: Um, one individual was saying and I quote:

Pranker: Uh... "He blasts his black rap music around in our

Pranker: white community with all that bass". 

Pranker: Are you familiar with what`s going on? 

Pranker: Is there any loud music that you guys are playing by any chance?

Girlfriend: It sounds like we have a bunch of racist neighbors...

Girlfriend: ...and I think that you should put these complaints...

Girlfriend: ...in writing so that we can sue the crap out of them.

Pranker: Is there loud rap music being played with a lot of bass?

Girlfriend: I won`t accept racist complaints against my boyfriend and that`ll be the end of it.

Pranker: No, no I understand-

Girlfriend: You can call me during working hours instead of late at night.

Pranker: I have been working all day and had to get-

Girlfriend: Thank you very much Russell.

Pranker: Ma`am, once again I`m-I`m-

Girlfriend: We live in a day and age where someone-

Girlfriend: making a complaint against someone because of the-

Pranker: Listen-

Girlfriend: color of their skin is unacceptable.

Pranker: Ma`am...

Pranker: With-with all due respect that was one of the complaints out of seven and the other ones...

Pranker: ...involve your dog crapping all over the common areas so, that`s the main issue here.

Girlfriend: Which does not happen.

Pranker: Okay, but ma`am you`re trying to twist it now as like a race thing when the fact of the matter

Pranker: is the dog is defecating all over the place and it needs to stop, do you understand?

Girlfriend: It does not happen ever.

Pranker: Okay, well, I mean is there any chance that it has to do with your boyfriend’s behavior?

Pranker: Or anything he`s doing, I do have on our notes here that he was involved in some...

Pranker: ...BB gun shooting a little while back.

Pranker: So he has been somewhat of a problem individual.

Pranker: Is he purposefully perhaps having the dog defecate on the common areas?

Girlfriend: Are you... Are you kidding me?

Pranker: I`m-I`m-I`m just trying to get to the bottom of this and do my job ma`am.

Girlfriend: Well you know what don`t call me late at night.

Pranker: Ma`am, it`s a little after 9-

Girlfriend: I`m gonna be hanging up now.

Pranker: I would advise against that ma`am, I need you to just...

Pranker: ...put on your big girl pants and have an adult conversation with me.

Girlfriend: WHAT THE FARK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!

Pranker: Well, ma`am-

Girlfriend: FARK YOU, YOU NEED ME TO PUT ON MY BIG GIRL PANTS?

Girlfriend: Have your supervisor call me, okay?

Pranker: Ma`am-

Girlfriend: During farking business hours, you racist piece of crap.

Pranker: Ma`am you`re being a little childish right now,

Pranker: I`m trying to get to bottom of this-

[phone call ends]

Pranker: I`m not trying to upset-

Pranker: [laughing] Big girl pants...

[phone calling sound]

Pranker: Hello-

Girlfriend: Don`t answer it-

Pranker: Ma`am I-I think we got off on the wrong foot...

Pranker: ...but I- we-we do need to talk about this unfortunately because it is grounds...

Pranker: ...for eviction when you do have numerous complaints against you and I was asked to kinda get some

Pranker: insight as to what`s going on here if this is gonna stop 

Pranker: or if this is gonna be an ongoing issue for us. 

Girlfriend [to boyfriend]: Apparently you`re a problem resident, babe.

Boyfriend: I`m a problem resident?

Girlfriend: You`re a problem resident.

Pranker: Ma`am I was-

Girlfriend: Talk to my boyfriend about this.

Pranker: Well, ma`am is your boyfriend on the leasing agreement or an authorized individual?

Girlfriend: This house is under lease by both myself and my boyfriend,

Girlfriend: both of our names are on the lease so any problems they can happen with both of us.

Pranker: I understand but ma`am to be completly-

Girlfriend: We ca-we can both put our big girl pants on and talk about this.

Pranker: Well he`s a man so I don`t think he`d have to put on 

Pranker: big girl pants, that wouldn`t really make sense...

Pranker: I-I understand that may have upset you a little bit but-

[phone call ends]

Pranker: I was just trying to- 

Pranker: [laughing] She hung up again! [laughing]