Scumbag Breeders Selling Us A Dog - Prank Call Classics

Best quotes: 

• “I'M GONNA COME THERE AND T-BAG YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW, OK?”
• “YOU WHAT? YOU GONNA PUT YOUR RETARD DOG ON ME?”
• “Listen man, can you stop DEEPTHROATING your microphone? Can you at least get the motherfarking decent telephone to talk to me?”
• “I'm trying to POP the pu**y right? Like, pop the molly, I'm sweating HOOO, right?”

Body of content:

I prank called a scamming dog breeder who claims to sell show-quality purebred rottweiler puppies. In reality, they're selling overpriced mixed breed puppies that often have serious health issues, and ignoring their clients whenever they complain about it. Check out how they responded when I called them out! Have you ever heard of dog breeding scammers? Let me know in the comments below!

 

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Transcript

[glass break sound]

Pranker [speaking to audience]: I called up these dog breeders who charge their customers top dollar for supposedly-

Pranker: show-quality purebred rottweiler puppies. In reality they're actually scammers who sell mixed-breed dogs-

Pranker: and many customers have reported receiving puppies with physical deformities and socialization issues.

Pranker: So basically, they're kind of sheisty scumbags. Check out how this prank goes down.

[phone ringing]

Guy: Hello?

Pranker [speaking as Buk Lau]: Yeah, I'm looking for the dog breeding.

Guy: Oh yeah, yeah, hello, we- what are you looking for?

Pranker: Basically, I need like a good guard dog to guard my Chinese restaurant, I've had some issues with some guys-

Pranker: trying to start some trouble, you know?

Guy: Yes sir, I have one available now, a puppy, I can sell you that one for twelve hundred.

Pranker: I want to spend like, you know, like five hundred something like that.

Guy: Oh no, no man, I don't sell dogs for five hundred dollars.

Pranker: OK, well tell me this, you know? I actually I- I- you know, I heard a good thing about you and I wanted to buy-

Pranker: but, you know, I try to look up your- your number on the Internet and they say that you are the scamming motherfarka, you know?

Pranker: So I still want to give you my- my business, but can you at least give me the discounty?

Guy: No man, the lowest I'll sell a dog for is a thousand dollars bro, where you heard about me at?

Pranker: Ye- yeah, the Internet, you know, and they say that this guy is the scamming one.

Guy: I'm not, I'm- I'm not- I'm- I'm not going to sell you my farking dog and you- and you, go and uh-

Guy: farking feed it to your customers at the restaurant man.

Pranker: LOOK, MOTHERFARKA, I don't want to feed anybody with your overpriced dogs, ok? But, I'm telling you that there is people-

Pranker: on the Internet they say that this-

Guy: Fark you man.

Pranker: I'M GONNA COME THERE AND T-BAG YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW, OK? SHUT THE FARK UP AND LISTEN TO ME.

Guy: Come on man.

Pranker: Listen, I'M TELLING YOU-

Guy: COME ON, COME ON, COME ON DOWN BUDDY.

Pranker: LOOK BITCH-

Guy: COME ON DOWN.

Pranker: YOU- YOU CAN'T- YOU WHAT? YOU GONNA PUT YOUR RETARD DOG ON ME?

Guy: COME ON DOWN YOU MOTHERFARKA COME, come on I'm waiting on you.

Pranker: Listen man, can you stop DEEPTHROATING your microphone? Can you at least get the motherfarking decent telephone to talk to me?

Guy: Oh, I'm sorry man, I'm- I'm busy with your mama right now man.

Pranker: It sounds like you're literally gurgling on my balls right now as you try to talk to me, because you have the muffering voice!

Guy: I'm sorry man, I'm sorry man, I'm busy with your mama man.

Pranker: Oh my God, you- you are-

Guy: And I'm busy.

Pranker: look man, you're gurgling on my balls, like a Listerine, you know? You [making gurgling sound].

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker: LOOK, MO- MORHERFARKA?! [laughing]

Pranker [speaking to audience]: I did some digging and found the guys partner who actually breeds the dogs. Then call him up with Justin's-

Pranker: number showing up on the caller ID.

[phone ringing] [explosion sound]

Guy1: Yeah?

Pranker: What's up man, how are you doing?

Guy1: Alright.

Pranker: Yeah, I work with Justin.

Guy1: Okay.

Pranker: We working on a, a new litter of puppies right now, right? And it seems that some of them maybe a little have some attention issues-

Pranker: or slightly defective something like that, I just wondering can we still ship those out, or what do you think?

Guy1: You said they have an attention problem?

Pranker: Yeah, like, eh- there's a little bit, uh- eh- heh- attention deficit like they need some Adderall or something [chuckles].

Guy1: [chuckles]

Pranker: I just wondering, give me your expert opinion.

Guy1: My expert opinion?

Pranker: Yeah.

Guy1: You wanna know if I'm saying if it's alright to pass along, uh, dogs with attention deficit disorder, that need Adderall?

Pranker: [mumbling]

Guy1: What do you want to know?

Pranker: I know, the- the- the Adderall was just the joke, right? But the dog is basically a little bit of the retard one, so I'm just wondering-

Pranker: do you think we can get away with it?

Guy1: Get away with it? So obv- you- you think you're doing something wrong and you're asking me if it's ok?

Pranker: Eh- yeah, I just need somebody's blessing and then I can sleep at night, you know? But as of now, I'm having kind of mental dilemma, you know? So, all you have-

Guy1: Well, you work with Justin, but you called me from Justin's phone, is that right?

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, he's in the bathroom right now actually, I think he's taking a CRAP, but yeah.

Guy1: [hang up]

Pranker: HELLO? [laughing] [speaking to audience]: I ended up finding the scammers grandpa as well who runs a farm and decided to give him a call.

[phone ringing] [explosion sound]

Grandpa: Hello?

Pranker: Yeah, how are you doing old guy?

Grandpa: Good.

Pranker: Ok great, do you want to know how I am doing?

Grandpa: No.

Pranker: Good, because I feel like a crap. Uh- I- I got your number from your- your grandson.

Grandpa: Oh. Which one?

Pranker: There's one of them that scams people with the dogs, remember him, that one? The a**hole guy?

Grandpa: He's a a**hole guy? Why do you say that?

Pranker: Yeah, because he sell me the retard dog, you know? My dog now he's- be- all day he's sitting there, running in the circle-

Pranker: he bite his tail, you know? Like a stus- like a stupid.

Grandpa: I don't know nothing about him, I don't know nothing about the dog and uh- I'm busy right now.

Pranker: Yeah no, but he tell me that you can teach me how to breed with the woman, right? He say that you-

Pranker: like 70 years old and you pulled the hottest pu**y right?

Grandpa: Wha- you got a pu**y?

Pranker: No, no, no, not me, [sighs], no, I'm trying to- I'm trying to POP the pu**y right? Like, pop the molly, I'm sweating HOOO, right?

Pranker: But I want to pop the pu**y and then do the explosion, you know?

Grandpa: [hang up]

Pranker: HELLO? [laughing] [speaking to audience]: Dude!

[phone ringing] [explosion sound]

Grandpa: Hello?

Pranker: Yeah, hello grandpa, how are you doing?

Grandpa: [yelling] NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS! [hang up]

Pranker: Look, I have to tell you- [laughing].