Category: Prank calls
Format: Subtitled
Characters: Russell
Prank Victim: Mom
Rage Level: Mellow
Best quotes:
- “My penis can't stay hard for more than 10 minutes. It seems as if it couldn't be lifted with a 3 ton CR4N3", I think that's 13375P33K for crane.”
- “Well by the credit card number if we did basically MD5-HASH Encryption Reverse Process.”
- “It says here, I quote: ‘Down goes the lever when I see the beaver’.”
Body of content:
This was a funny Enzyte order prank request I got from a viewer who wanted me to call someone's house to confirm a bogus order for the company’s penis enhancement pills. I told the woman who answered the phone that her son had ordered massive quantities of the pills but didn’t confirm being over 18. The parents were in total denial that their son could have possibly made the order, and even went into some uncomfortable details!
Some of the stuff I say is pretty ridiculous, and yet they still stayed on the line! Do you think they believed this was a legitimate order? Who would you want to pull this prank call on? Let me know in the comments!
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Transcript
[phone ringing]
Mom: Hello?
Pranker [speaking as Russell]: Hello, is this the parent or guardian of Kyle Mohammed?
Mom: Yes it is.
Pranker: Hey, this is Russell Johnson, I'm calling with 1-800-4-ENZYTE uh, we're the local penis Enhancement Phill Association.
Pranker: We've recently got an online order from Kyle Mohammed using a Visa Credit Card and we noticed that there-
Pranker: He did not checkbox the "I am over 18" checkbox on our form.
Mom: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Pranker: I'm calling-
Pranker: I'm sorry?
Mom: I have no idea what you're talking about?
Pranker: OK well basically uh, a 3 year supply for Enzyte's Penis Enhancement Pills at a retail value of 397.99$ has been ordered under-
Mom: Where- where does he- how did this came about?
Pranker: Ma'am, it was ordered on our site uhh, by Kyle Mohammed and I'm calling just to get parental consent because...
Pranker: ...he did not checkbox the "I am over 18" checkbox on our page.
Pranker: I'm calling just to get Parental Consent before we ship the product out because by law we must do so.
Mom: Through the internet?
Pranker: Yeah, through the interweb, yes ma'am.
Mom: Uh, what's the date?
Dad: When did this happen?
Pranker: I'm sorry?
Mom: I need the date.
Pranker: Uh, one moment please.
Pranker: Tuesday- Uh- Thursday uh, February the 7th.
Mom: I-I- cancelled my internet JAH before that.
Dad: We haven't had internet here.
Pranker: Well... it was still- it was still made online for Kyle Mohammed for the retail value of 397$ and 99 cents...
Pranker: Uh, it was paid by Visa Credit Card uh... By the name of K. Mohammed, I'm not sure if that's Kyle or who that is.
Mom: Well that could be- that could be my father- that could be- that could be uh, my brother.
Pranker: Is everybody's- Is everybody's name- Is everybody's name starting with the letter K?
Mom: Okay, uh- Yeah, my father's K uh... That's doctor Kay Mohammed. My brother's Henneth Mohammed, um-
Mom: And we didn't have internet at that time.
Dad: We pulled the internet in January-
Pranker: Uh- my- [stuttering] is there any internet access at school perhaps? Or at friend's house?
Dad: Nope.
Mom: I doubt it very much.
Dad: It's a possibility maybe at friend's house but there's no way Kyle ordered that.
Pranker: [stuttering] Okay I'm gonna go ahead and talk to my supervisor in regards to the current information you guys told me.
Pranker: I'll put you on hold real quick si I can go ahead and cancel the order HOPEFULLY alright?
Dad: Please!!!
Mom: Absolutely.
Pranker: Okay please hold.
Mom: Okay.
[rap music playing]
Machine: All of our representatives are currently busy assisting other customers.
Machine: Please continue to hold and one of our representatives will be happy to assist you.
[rap music playing]
Machine: Your call is now first in line and will be answered by the next available customer service representative.
Machine: Thank you for holding! [rap music playing]
Machine: Did you know that Enzyte is trusted by over 3,000,000 users worldwide and is the number 1 selling supplement for natural male enhancement?
Machine: If you're looking for that stronger firmer, easier to achieve erection then it's time to try ENZYTE!
Machine: Enzyte is the original once a day tablet for natural male enhancement.
Machine: Enjoyed by over 3,000,000 men worldwide.
Machine: Taken once daily Enzyte supports the strongest most powerful erections possible to help you achieve peak sexual enhancement and pleasure.
[rap music playing]
Pranker: Hello?
Dad: Yoo! Hello?
Pranker: I just spoke to my supervisor and he's informed me that it was paid via Visa...
Pranker: ...and I'm not sure because it's in the final process is actually just at the factory being shipped.
Pranker: It's been too long and on our site it's now that the drugs are nonrefundable.
Mom: Well, there- there's a problem here.
Pranker: Okay ma'am, I'ma need you to calm down it's not uh- I don't know I- I think the product's gonna be shipped out tomorrow morning hopefully.
Pranker: It will be at your door in 2-3 business days via uhm... Postal Services priority 2-3 day mail.
Mom: Okay.
Pranker: Uhm-
Dad: There's no sense sending it here.
Mom: Well no it's already- it's already in the process right?
Mom: It's already in the process?
Pranker: Ma'am I'm gonna need you to calm down because if I hear any more attitude I will end the call and ship the product out
Mom: No- no, no, no! No.
Mom: Okay, I- I apologize. I was on speaker phone there. No we're just upset because I have no clue what's going on.
Mom: I'm sorry I do apologize.
Pranker: Well do you know what our product is for ma'am? Is your son sexually active?
Mom: Yes, he is.
Pranker: He is?
Mom: But he still doesn't have credit card and neither do I.
Pranker: Okay... Uhm...
Mom: I'm K Mohammed and my cos- my son's K Mohammed, my father's K Mohammed, and I have a brother K Mohammed.
Pranker: And how old is K Mohammed? Your son?
Mom: My son is 15.
Pranker: He's 15 and he's sexually active okay and uhm...
Pranker: He's- Does he need the- do you think that he may have needed these pills?
Mom: Absolutely not.
Pranker: Can- do you know that he's able to maintain his own erection?
Mom: He- absolutely.
Mom: I know my son very well.
Pranker: [laughing] Okay let me see here and pull this information here ma'am. Please hold.
Mom: Mhm...
Mom: No, I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm not upset...
Pranker: Okay well I went ahead and pulled up some moar notes on the account uhm...
Pranker: It was said here- they usually- we usually on our account the form asks for a reason for usage...
Pranker: Uhm- of uh- of the product. It was actually entered in a very unprofessional way.
Pranker: Uhm...
Mom: Can I put it on conference er- uh- speaker so my son can hear this?
Pranker: Uh,sure I mean yeah if I can hear you yeah go ahead and try, see if I can hear you okay.
Mom: C- can you hear me?
Pranker: Uh, ma'am it's very static-y.
Mom: Ok... I took it off.
Pranker: Okay, uhm, so what's going on, basically it says here...
Pranker: " My penis can't stay hard for more than 10 minutes."
Mom: Okay...
Pranker: "It seems as if it couldn't be lifted with a 3 tone CR4N3", I think that's 13375P33K for "crane".
Mom: Ok see I'm not aware of all this.
Pranker: I can't imagine why else it would be ordered so- so for sure your son- your son has no problem maintaining an erection over his sexual life?
Mom: As far as I know no.
Pranker: Okay, do you guys talk- are you guys pretty open about this?
Mom: Uh- Kyle and I? Yes, yes we are. This is very confusing.
Pranker: Like I- uh I am very confused as well,
Mom: Especially with the credit card.
Pranker: Yeah! Especially with the... The erection maintaining ability being there, I don't know why this would be ordered.
Pranker: Is- is your son available, can I speak with him?
Mom: he- he's on the line with me right now.
Mom: Kyle go ahead and talk.
Kyle: Hello?
Pranker: Yeah hey Kyle, how you doing?
Kyle: Good.
Pranker: So, did you make this order?
Kyle: No.
Pranker: Because there's an online survey here and I'm not sure if you submitted this or not, because it's saying here that you're not-
Pranker: You're unable to maintain a proper erection.
Pranker: It says here, I quote:"Down goes the lever when I see the beaver".
Kyle: What about that?
Mom: That's what it said on the computer. That's what he got..
Mom: [stuttering] What was online! He received - when you ordered it or whoever ordered it.
Pranker: Another one is "My penis is mushy around the [censored]", that's what it says here.
Pranker: So that's 2 quotes primarily I'd have to go ahead and pull up the next screen...
Pranker: Uhm, to do this. Then it actually repeats "down goes the lever when I see a beaver" about 15 other time spammed across the page.
Pranker: And it ends with...
Kyle: What are these things that you're saying right now? What I mean like that down goes the lever, what is that about?
Pranker: That was- that was note on the account it says- it says why would- why are you using the product and he says...
Pranker: " Down goes the beaver", "down goes the lever when I see the beaver" and I guess he was referring-
Pranker: To his- Uh- his erection being uh- going away when he sees the vaginal glands.
Mom: Exactly.
Pranker: Exactly. Uhm...
Kyle: Could anybody who like, knows my number and my name do this?
Mom: He's asking you.
Pranker: Uhm, I'm sorry?
Kyle: Can like, if- could this be anybody do this?
Pranker: Well it was paid- it was paid via visa gift- a visa credit card sir.
Kyle: So the credit card was under K Mohammed?
Pranker: Uh yes sir, it was.
Kyle: Okay well then- either grandpa-
Mom: Or uncle Kenny and that's impossible.
Kyle: It's already been like, paid and everything?
Pranker: Yeah, so do you want it?
Kyle: Noo!
Pranker: [stuttering] is this a quote that- that your son uses?
Pranker: [stuttering] Daily?
Mom: Not likely.
Pranker: Because it is spammed here about 15 times and once again it's "down goes the lever when I see the beaver".
Mom: Yeah and that sounds like uh- something a kid would say.
Pranker: Yeah it definitely does sound like something a kid would say yeah.
Mom: Yeah.
Pranker: So I-
Mom: There's something really wrong here.
Dad: We know Kyle didn't do it.
Mom: CREDIT CARD- that's- that's the funny part here and that's what's really gotten me upset.
Pranker: Yeah. So-
Mom: Like I said, I've not had a credit card in years.
Dad: So you don't- you don't have the full name of the owner of the credit card that was used?
Pranker: Uh, no sir only the first initial is all that's really required by law,
Dad: So you can't find out the legal owner of the credit card that was used?
Pranker: Uhm-
Dad: Full name?
Pranker: Well by the credit card number if we did basically MD5-HASH Encryption Reverse Process.
Pranker: We'd be able to pull up that name but that might take a day or so...
Mom: I'd like to find out.
Pranker: Okay, uhm-
Dad: ... who ordered this?
Pranker: Give me one second let me put some notes in my system here.
Pranker: I'll try to hold the order for now and see if we could possibly retrieve the credit card information but-
Mom: I've seen that on TV actually.
Pranker: You have? It's usually the commercial that goes [whistling]
Mom: Yeah, I've seen that on TV, Enzyte.com, okay.
Pranker: Yeah, it's that commercial. Okay but uhm- I'ma go ahead and do a c- I'm actually gonna go physically-
Pranker: Go to the shipping centre and pull the box off the shelves so it's not shipped yet.
Pranker: uhm, so it actually-
Mom: You can find the credit card number can you?
Pranker: I ca- I- for security purposes ma'am I'm not allowed to access that information.
Pranker: Well I do thank you very much for your time and concern in this matter Kim, and you have a wonderful day and we'll be speaking shortly.
Mom: Okay, I hope so.
Pranker: Okay...
Mom: Thank you.
Pranker: Okay, love you too, bye-bye.