Wife For Hire? Craigslist Phone Number Prank Call

Best quotes: 

• “Bertha, I didn't even finish my sentence..”
• “Let me explain something. WE DON'T EAT COOCHIE, WE DON'T GIVE B******S, WE DO YARD-WORK.”
• “There may be a particular tool of yours that my wife might be interested in to put in her FANNY PACK!”

Body of content:

I found an ad on Craigslist for a couple that was available for hire for labor, and luckily for me they included a phone number! I prank called them as a swinger looking for another married couple to hook up with. That was NOT the type of work they were hoping for!

When they realized what I was up to, they were quick to tell me off! What other types of Craigslist ads could I put a funny spin on for a prank call? Let me know in the comments below!

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Transcript

[film rolls] [phone ringing]

Guy: Hello?

Pranker [speaking as Russell]: Yeah, hi, I saw your advertisement on the uh, Craigs of listing? How are you doing today sir?

Guy: How you doing today?

Pranker: I'm great! I uh, I noticed you- you had the "Husband for hire", ad- advertisement up? Is that correct?

Guy: Yeah!

Pranker: Okay. I noticed that you said that uh, your wife is also available as part of "The Team", is that correct?

Guy: Well, actually uh- she might wanna do some work or something, but I've got a job now. But her and her sister are looking for work.

Pranker: Oh!

Guy: And they both live here.

Pranker: That'd- be awe- that'd be great! Uhm, if you could get ALL THREE, that'd be ideal actually.

Guy: Well, I'm- I'm not gonna quit my job. I've got a really good job.

Pranker: Okay well- I don't need you to quit or anything it- it'd probably be just a ONE TIME JOB!

Guy: Oh okay! Well, uh- what exactly do you need done cap'n?

Pranker: Uh well, it was initially a- I kind of had like a FOUR PERSON project in mind, but if you wanted to get wife and her sister-

Pranker: involved it could be a FIVE PERSON 'PROJECT', I'd be open to that. It's just that uh, m- my wife-

Pranker: Janet and I were actually looking to uh, get a couple people involved in a 'PROJECT' of ours! And-

Pranker: I know you have separate 'TOOLS' and a truck but neither of which will really be necessary! There-

Pranker: There may be a particular tool of yours that my wife might be interested in to put in her FANNY PACK!

Guy: DO I HAVE A WHAT?

Pranker: I said, for her fanny pack.

Guy: UHM. Imma tell you what, best thing you can do is probably call this afternoon and talk to my wife about this.

Guy: She stays pretty busy, but uh, I know she would like to have some more, so why don't you call back and talk with her?

Pranker: Okay well, I don't wanna- the thing is, I could probably CALL SOME OTHER SWINGERS on Craigslist-

Pranker: so I was wondering if, I've- coul- could I call her, cell phone maybe?

Guy: No, huh, no. She's driving man, and I don't- you know that's- that's a little bit dangerous.

Pranker: Okay well- WHAT'S HER NUMBER? I'll give her a call, later on then, I don't wanna call right now because-

Guy: This- this same phone number.

Pranker: Okay. What about your wife's SISTER? Could I possibly reach out to her for some work?

Guy: Uh, SAME NUMBER.

Pranker: Okay. So you guys just ALTERNATE the same phone?

Guy: Well, she's got a house beside ours, and we just let her move in, so.

Pranker: Yeah, yeah, I understand. Okay well, what's the wife's number? I'll just GIVE HER A CALL.

Guy: I TELL YOU WHAT, DON'T CALL. BACK. Okay?

Pranker: Wait- I'm sorry?

Guy: Bye.

Pranker: H- Hello?

Guy: [hang up]

Pranker [speaking to audience]: He hang up. [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Guy: Hello?

Pranker: Yeah hi! I think the phone got DISCONNECTED a second ago-

Guy: WHAT'S THIS NUMBER? WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?

Pranker: Well I- I've- you were just about to-

Guy: WHAT'S YOUR PHONE NUMBER- WHAT'S YOUR WIFE'S PHONE NUMBER?

Pranker: Yeah you were- you were just about to give me her PHONE NUMBER I think, and I- the phone got disconnected somehow.

Guy: Huh, LISTEN. Just uh, CALL SOMEBODY ELSE. Okay?

Pranker: BUT YOU'RE- YOU LOOK LIKE THE MOST ENTICING HUSBAND FOR HIRE 'TEAM' with the wife and the sister involved-

Pranker: it seems like you're just PERFECT FIT.

Guy: Let me tell you something, don't call this number AGAIN, okay?

Pranker: HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, just throwing this out there, IF I WAS TO CALL BACK-

Guy: DON'T!

Pranker: Would that be a problem?

Guy: DON'T. CALL BACK HERE.

Pranker: Okay, well- the thing is I- I just-

Guy: Okay?

Pranker: I- I kind of wanted to get like a FOURSOME or FIVESOME involved if, if the-

Guy: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT! DON'T CALL BACK HERE! NOW IF YOU WANT TO GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER OR YOUR ADDRESS!-

Guy: I'LL COME OUT THERE AND WE'LL TALK TOGETHER.

Pranker: Okay! Yeah!

Guy: How about that? WHAT'S YOUR ADDRESS?

Pranker: That'd be great! If you wanna do like a in per- in person type of meet up! That'd be awesome actually-

Pranker: I think that would kind of expedite things and really take this in the right DIRECTION!

Guy: What's your address?

Pranker: Alright! My address is uh, 429-

Guy: K.

Pranker: Well what- what time are we setting this up for?

Guy: Just- just give me the rest of that address, and we'll talk about that in a minute.

Pranker: Okay so are- are you gonna be coming over here though? Or what's the deal? [stalling]

Guy: 429 what?

Pranker: Okay, 429-

Guy: Go ahead!

Pranker: It's East, MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BOULEVARD.

Pranker: Hello? [laughing] [speaking to audience]: He hung up after getting the address, uh oh he's coming to get me!

[phone ringing]

Lady: Hello?

Pranker: Uh hello?

Lady: Yes?

Pranker: Hey Linda, how you doing?

Guy: I'm good, how are you?

Pranker: I'm great. Uhm uh, I just- I was calling, speaking to your husband earlier about the uh, th- the work for hire, and uh-

Lady: Uh huh.

Pranker: He was asking me to give you a call back later, does he happen to be there?

Lady: Yeah, he is.

Pranker: Oh okay, did he- did he tell you anything about me?

Lady: No.

Pranker: Oh okay, alright. Well yeah, we uh-

Lady: What kind of work do you have?

Pranker: basically, I have kind of a four person 'project' and I wanted to get you two involved-

Pranker: your- your husband was-was mentioning to me that your sister's also available?

Lady: Yeah.

Pranker: Okay. I mean, that would be like, definitely not what I expected, but that'd be really really-

Pranker: interesting if we can get her involved as well, and what is the hourly rate for all five of you?

Pranker: All- the three of you, sorry.

Lady: Well, what kind of work is it that you're wanting us to do?

Pranker: Oh okay. Well see- I- it's kind of interesting. My wife Janet and I uh, we- we wanted just some, some-

Pranker: company, and people to spend some time with.

Lady: Okay, we're not prostitutes. We are hard manual laborers, you need to call somebody else-

Lady: and if you call back here again, I could trace your number, and buddy Imma come hunt your ass down.

Pranker: Bertha!

Lady: Don't call back here. Then we'll READ THE ENTIRE AD!

Pranker: Bertha, I didn't even finish my sentence, hello? [laughing] [speaking to audience]: This one just turned into a really good one. [laughing]

[phone ringing]

Lady: Hello?

Pranker: Uh yeah, hey, I- I think we got disconnected, I wasn't sure, I think there might've been a misunderstanding.

Lady: Hey le- let me explain something. WE DON'T EAT COOCHIE, WE DON'T GIVE B******S, WE DO YARD-WORK. WE DO NOT SWAP-

[lady in the background speaking] EXPLAIN THIS TOO, MY DAUGHTER IS A DEPUTY SHERIFF, WE DON'T DO THAT OKAY?

Lady:Yeah, we do yard-work and stuff like that. WE DON'T EAT COOCHIE AND WE DON'T DO WEE-WEE'S-

Pranker [speaking as Billy]: EXCUSE ME!

Lady: so you got the wrong one-

Pranker: I NEED- I NEED TO TALK TO SOME-

Lady: don't call back

Pranker: Uh hello?

Lady: THANK YOU AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!

Pranker: MA'AM!

Lady: GOD BLESS YOU.

Pranker: Uh hello? [laughing] [speaking to audience]: I was trying to go all Billy on her, but she wouldn't even give me a chance [laughing].